


Wait, Did That Happen Before?

by Hyp3rB14d3



Category: Mahou Sensei Negima!, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Naruto, Ranma 1/2
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Ninjas, Alternate Universe - Power Rangers, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Comedy, Different Team Members, Gen, Nerfed Main Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-04
Updated: 2013-10-23
Packaged: 2017-12-17 15:54:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 55,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/869296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyp3rB14d3/pseuds/Hyp3rB14d3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Uzumaki Naruto, unhappy with the way his life has turned out, manages to get his hands on a ninjutsu scroll detailing what appears to be a time-traveling technique.  Eager to try again, he jumps into the past.  Except things aren't the way he remembers them.  Uchiha Sasuke is missing, Hatake Kakashi isn't perpetually tardy, Jiraiya is the Hokage, and Ichiraku Ramen is on the other side of the street.  Congratulations on breaking reality, Naruto.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Where's Sasuke?

**Author's Note:**

> To anyone wondering: I obviously do not own Naruto, Ranma 1/2, Mahou Sensei Negima, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Rurouni Kenshin, Soul Eater, or any other work of fiction that the characters appearing in this fic belong to. None of them are even owned by the same people. Even if I did own one of them (which I don't), I couldn't logically own all of them. That is why this is a work of fan fiction and not a canonical addition to any of the stories.

**Chapter 1: Where's Sasuke?**

As the sun shined in through the window, Naruto grumbled and reluctantly rolled over. Sitting up, he looked around inside his crappy apartment.

… _Wait. Why am I back in this shitty place?_ Confused, he stood up and hobbled over to his closet. Inside, his old orange and blue jacket hung, alongside his orange pants. _The hell? I threw these out years ago after I outgrew them. And where's my more recent stuff?_

For a long moment, Naruto stood, dumbfounded. Finally, as confusion cleared the last of the sleepiness from his mind, everything started to come back to him.

… _Holy shit! Holy shit it worked!_ Naruto felt like jumping for joy. _So what if Sasuke went evil? So what if he killed Sakura and Kakashi? So what if I had to drag his ass back to Konoha so he could spend the rest of his life in prison? So what if Hinata went lesbian just as I returned her affections? So what if I got passed up for Hokage in favor of freaking Konohamaru? I did it! I went back in time! I pressed the reset button! I get a do over! That time-travel jutsu worked!_

Quickly, Naruto ran over to a mirror to verify his age. _Yes! Twelve again! Ha! Take that, fate! I get to change things! This time Sasuke won't go evil, Sakura will realize that I really am the better guy for her, Orochimaru won't get to kill the third, Kakashi and Sakura won't die, and Konohamaru won't get to be Hokage!_ Naruto struck a pose. _Naruto is back baby, and he knows just what he has to do to fix everything! Say goodbye to dead-last! Say hello to top-class! This is a whole new Naruto!_

Naruto's impromptu posing session came to an abrupt end as he glanced at his clock and immediately flinched. _Oh crap! New Naruto is gonna be late if he doesn't get moving!_ Grabbing his clothes, Naruto quickly began changing. _If I recall correctly, I set the jutsu to send me back to the day we got assigned to our teams. Can't miss the opportunity to make a better first-day-as-a-ninja impression on Sakura! And this time, I absolutely won't kiss Sasuke!_

0o0o0

As Naruto ran to the academy, a thought occurred to him. _Ack! Dammit! I should have gone back to the day that I stole the scroll! I could have learned a new forbidden jutsu! Kage bunshin is great, but there were all kinds of awesome stuff on that scroll I didn't have time to learn before Iruka found me. Damn. Oh well, can't do anything about it now. Well, I guess I could…_

As Naruto ran, he was suddenly passed by a short, red-headed kid in a t-shirt and shorts with a long staff strapped to his back. "Morning Naruto!" the boy shouted as he ran past.

"Morning… uh… guy." Naruto realized that he had absolutely no idea who the person who passed him was. _Huh. He must be from a team that didn't pass their final genin test. Sucks to be him._

 _Speaking of tests, I wonder if I can actually get the bell from Kakashi this time. He won't expect me to know proper chakra control, and I can catch him by surprise with the Rasengan! …Wait, no. If he finds out I know the Rasengan, he'll want to know how I learned it. And somehow I doubt he'd believe me if I said I made it up. …Maybe if I called it something else._ Thus were Naruto's thoughts as he made his way to the academy.

0o0o0

As Naruto entered the classroom, he scanned the would-be genin already present. _Huh. Looks like I beat Sasuke and Sakura here. I was hoping Sasuke would be here already so that I could sit far away from him. Don't want a repeat of last time. Oh well._ Wandering into the room, Naruto arbitrarily picked a seat in the middle row.

"Huh? Naruto, what are you doing here? Only those who pass are supposed to be here. Class shouldn't start back up for you for another few weeks."

 _Oh, damn. I forgot about this part. Hello again, Mr. Not-Going-To-Pass-The-Final-Genin-Test. Huh. I could have sworn Shikamaru was the one who bugged me about that last time. Oh well._ "Hey, hey! Can't you see this forehead protector? Starting today, I'm a ninja too!" _…Come to think of it, this guy's pretty short. Did he graduate early or something?_

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you didn't graduate. Nevermind." The red-headed boy from earlier wandered back to where he'd been sitting a few seats down.

A commotion drew Naruto's attention to the door. Said commotion turned out to be Ino and Sakura forcing their way through the doorway at the same time. _Ah, Sakura's here! Now to just make sure I don't screw up and kiss Sasuke._ A quick glance around verified what he had already known: Sasuke wasn't present yet. _…Wait. Where IS Sasuke? The teams are going to be announced soon._ As Naruto pondered his soon-to-be teammate's whereabouts, Sakura finished her confrontation with Ino, and then plopped down in the seat next to the red-headed boy.

Soon enough, Iruka moved to the front of the classroom and began explaining the teams to the new genin. And yet, Sasuke still hadn't arrived.

 _Sasuke's really dragging his ass, today. I wonder what's going on. Oh! I'll just ask one of his stalk- I mean, fangirls._ "Oy Sakura!" Which was as far as he got before Iruka pegged him in the face with an eraser. "Ack! My eyes! Chalk dust in my eyes!" _Damn. I guess I'll have to wait for him to show up to find out what's going on. He better get here soon, or he's going to miss his team assignment._

… _Wait, what am I thinking. Kakashi's always late. He's got plenty of time. Maybe he somehow found out about Kakashi being our jonin sensei and decided to just sleep in. I know I would have if I had known. …Oh, damn. Another missed chance!_ Lost in his thoughts, Naruto only half listened to Iruka as he started reading off the team assignments.

"…Team 5: Uzumaki Naruto…"

… _Wait; did he just say Team FIVE?_

"Haruno Sakura…" Sakura immediately looked gloomy. Naruto, puzzled over the new team number, forgot to cheer.

"And Negi Springfield." Immediately, Sakura's look of gloom was replaced with a look of joy as she stood up a cheered. Naruto, on the other hand, looked shocked. This quickly shifted into frustration.

"…What the FUCK?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the sake of avoiding confusion for anyone unfamiliar with any of the series that are going to be included in this fic, I will include translations and descriptions of the techniques used at the end of each chapter, as well as for any terms readers might be unfamiliar with. So for those of you unfamiliar with Naruto (although I doubt there will actually be that many of them reading this fic, what with it primarily being a Naruto fic):
> 
> Kage Bunshin no Jutsu - Shadow Clone Technique: A technique that creates a solid, autonomous copy of the user. This copy is capable of using Ninjutsu. Upon being dispersed, the copies will return all the memories they collect during their existence to the user. Light amounts of damage are sufficient to forcibly disperse the copy, but both the original user and the copy are capable of dispersing the technique at will.
> 
> Hokage - Fire Shadow: The title given to the leader of Konoha.
> 
> Genin - the lowest rank an actual ninja can possess.


	2. Oh Crap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto realizes that something isn't quite right with the past.

**Chapter 2: Oh Crap**

  
“Naruto, is there some sort of problem?” asked Iruka, directing a warning look toward Naruto.  
  
“Yeah! Why isn’t…” _Sasuke in the same team as me and Sakura? And why are we in Team Five instead of Team Seven? And if I said I remembered things that haven’t happened yet, would you think I’m crazy? Crap crap crap crap crap._ “…Er, nevermind.” Naruto sat back down and slumped forward onto the table in front of him.  
  
 _Huh. I didn’t think he’d back down that quick._ The issue resolved for the moment, Iruka resumed his task of assigning the new ninja to their teams.  
  
Naruto grumbled from where he sat, his face buried in the table, while he waited for Iruka to finish assigning teams. Sakura was glaring at him, as were several other ninja. The red-head next to Sakura was giving Naruto sad puppy eyes for some reason, but Naruto resolutely ignored him. _Dammit. Where the hell is Sasuke?_

0o0o0

  
“I’m going to introduce the jounin instructors this afternoon. Meeting adjourned until then.”  
  
 _Finally!_ As everyone started leaving, Naruto grabbed Sakura by the shoulder, earning a glare from the pink-haired girl.  
  
“What do you want, Naruto?” she all but snarled.  
  
“Oy. Where’s Sasuke?”  
  
Anger shifted into confusion. “What?”  
  
“Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke. The guy you’ve been fangirling over since you entered the academy. Black hair shaped like a chicken’s butt, douchebaggy attitude, and never smiles unless he’s smirking?”  
  
Just like that, confusion shifted back into anger. “Naruto, you jerk!” Sakura punctuated her angry response by punching Naruto in the face, knocking him to the floor.  
  
“Ack!” Sitting up, Naruto began backing away. “Sakura? What was that for?”  
  
“You know damn well what that was for! You ass!” Fortunately for Naruto, the red-head took this moment to intervene.  
  
“Stop, Sakura! I’m sure Naruto didn’t mean it.”  
  
Much to Naruto’s confusion, Sakura seemed to listen to the kid, immediately calming down. However, whatever response she had was pre-empted by a beeping from her watch.  
  
*Deet deet deetdeet deet deet*  
  
Sakura stiffened. “Oh! I’m late for... uh… my meeting with Ino! I was meeting her at a place for a thing!” And with that, Sakura bolted out the door.  
  
 _Did I miss something?_ wondered Naruto.

0o0o0

  
Skidding to a halt, Sakura ducked into an empty room. After taking a quick glance to make sure she was actually alone, she raised the watch to her face. “Yes, Zordon?”  
  
“Sakura, Rita has used her magic to enlarge a gorilla to gargantuan proportions. It is currently on its way to Konoha. Get to the forest, call your Zord, and join with the other rangers to form the Megazord.”  
  
“Gotcha.” Lowering her communicator, Sakura pulled a rectangular device with an image of a dinosaur engraved in the center of it from her belt. Tyrannosaurus!” In a flash of red light, the room was empty once again.

0o0o0

  
“Er… do you know what that was about?” Naruto asked the red-head.  
  
“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I’m not quite sure,” the boy replied. “However, Sakura seemed very angry at whatever you were talking about, so I’d advise against broaching that topic with her in the future.”  
  
“…I’ll try to keep that in mind,” Naruto replied. “Er, do you know where Sasuke is?”  
  
“I’m afraid I don’t know of any Sasuke. Is he from the academy?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Then I would suggest asking Iruka. Perhaps he knows where he is.”  
  
“Okay. Thanks uh… well, thanks!” _Erk! I still don’t know his name._ “Gotta run!”  
  
“Wait! Naruto, are you mad at me for some reason?” But Naruto was already gone.

0o0o0

  
As Naruto ran off to find Iruka, Negi mentally played back Naruto’s conversation with Sakura. _Uchiha Sasuke. Where have I heard the name Uchiha? …Wait. Didn’t they get wiped out a few years back?_  
  
Unbidden, thoughts of another, slightly less recent incident in which a village lost its population came to mind… Quickly banishing them, Negi left to find a place to eat lunch.

0o0o0

  
“Hey, Iruka! Wait!” Naruto ran toward his former instructor, who was already leaving for his lunch break.  
  
“Hmm? Do you need something, Naruto?”  
  
“Yeah! Where’s Sasuke?” Naruto asked, skipping straight to the point.  
  
“…Who?” replied Iruka, clearly confused by the question.  
  
“Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke. Best student in the class, hates my guts, has a squad of fangirls, etcetera etcetera.”  
  
“Naruto, the Uchiha clan was wiped out five years ago. There hasn’t been an Uchiha in the academy since then. Besides, the best student in the class grade-wise was Negi Springfield. …Naruto? Are you okay?”  
  
“…I… need to go see the Hokage,” stuttered a very pale Naruto.

0o0o0

  
“What do you mean he’s not in?” Naruto demanded.  
  
“Just what I said,” replied the chunin guarding the door. “The Hokage is out of his office on business. You’ll have to come back later.”  
  
 _Dammit! What could be important enough to get him out of his office on a day like this? Shouldn’t he be swamped with paperwork over the incident with Mizuke? And even if he isn’t, he should at least let people know where to find him when he leaves._

0o0o0

  
Meanwhile, the Hokage was busy briefing Naruto’s soon-to-be jounin sensei on his new team. At Naruto’s house. For some reason.  
  
Or rather, he would have been, if the aforementioned jounin had actually shown up. Instead, he found himself waiting for the perpetually late ninja to arrive. _Maybe I should have just met him in the Hokage Tower. That’s plenty easy to find, and it can be seen from anywhere in the village, so he’d be more likely to remember. As opposed to a rundown generic-looking apartment on the outskirts of the village that he’s probably never been to. Oh well. Something to keep in mind for future dealings._ Looking at his watch, the Hokage sighed and decided to give it 15 more minutes.

0o0o0

  
Back at the Hokage Tower, Naruto stared in silent horror out the window. From where he was standing, a battle between a giant gorilla and a very large robot painted in primary colors could be seen taking place in the forest outside Konoha. “…I think I screwed up the jutsu…” At precisely that moment, his stomach chose to remind him of the other notable thing that had happened that day.

0o0o0

  
“Huh. His milk is expired,” the Hokage noted, in the process of raiding Naruto’s refrigerator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jounin - the highest rank a ninja can possess. Some are used to train new genin.


	3. Team Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto, Sakura, and Negi meet the jounin in charge of their squad.

**Chapter 3: Team Five**

Six Months Earlier

  
Negi Springfield was at his graduation ceremony. It had been a long five years, and Negi had made the proud achievement of graduating two years earlier than usual, and at the top of his class. Nevertheless, until he completed his final assignment, he could not obtain the title of Magister Magi. After receiving his certificate of graduation, Negi quietly waited for the ceremony to end, then headed off to the halls for some privacy to read his assignment. As he left the room, his friend Anya called out to him.  
  
“Hey, Negi! What does it say?” Turning, he spotted her, followed by his cousin Nekane. “I got assigned to a fortune telling job in the Wind Country! Where will you be training?”  
  
“It’s about to appear,” Negi replied, holding up his currently blank certificate, which was starting to glow. “Oh…”  
  
“Well?” asked Anya.  
  
“Um…” replied Negi uncertainly, looking at the words that appeared on the certificate. “A ninja in the Fire Country.”  
  
“EEEEEEEEH!”

0o0o0

**The Present**

  
As Naruto sat in silence, he pondered about his current situation and what he should do next. _Well, looks like I accidentally unmade Sasuke when I went back in time. And made giant robots that fight things in the forest. Somehow. That’s... that ‘s nice. …So, how do I fix this? I could try using the jutsu again. But that might make things worse. I screwed up the jutsu the first time, and I don’t have the scroll with the jutsu on it. So if I did it again, I’d probably screw it up again. What if I ended up in a world where Orochimaru was Hokage or something? Plus, even if I did it right, I’d just be going back in time in this world. If I want to get back to my own world, I need to find some sort of world-hopping jutsu. I guess I need to start looking for rumors and legends about people from other worlds. …Maybe I should just get used to living here. After all, is Sasuke not existing in this world really such a bad thing? Hmm… I think I could get to like it here. Me, Sakura, Kakashi, and… some other guy. That’ll be a great Team Seven. I mean Five. And without Sasuke to show me up, I’ll be able impress Sakura. And without Sasuke around, Kakashi will be able to train us properly. And maybe the new guy with be fun to hang out with. Oh! If I remember right, last time I ended up on a team with Sasuke because he was rookie of the year. So this other guy should know what he’s doing. Yeah, this isn’t so bad. It’s just the second chance I’ve been looking for. So what if giant robots fight giant monkeys just outside the village? As long as they keep it outside the village, it shouldn’t be a problem. And if it becomes a problem, I can always summon Gamabunta to kick them in line. Yeah, this’ll be great._ His resolve restored, Naruto stood up, flushed the toilet, and went to the sink to wash his hands.

0o0o0

  
As he arrived at the academy, he spotted most of the other students already waiting for their new jounin instructors. Unfortunately, Sakura was not among them. _Crap. Looks like Sakura isn’t back from her meeting with Ino at that place for that thing yet. And I don’t remember who the other person in my team is. Oh well. I’ll just sit somewhere and hopefully he’ll find me. Or Sakura will find him. Whatever._ Arbitrarily picking a seat next to the red-headed kid who’d bothered him earlier, Naruto leaned forward on his desk, mentally groaning about the wait he knew he’d have to endure. Within moments, the jounin instructors began arriving. _…NO WAY!_  
  
As Iruka began calling the teams forward to meet their new jounin instructors, Naruto’s eyes locked onto the figure of one Hatake Kakashi. Who had arrived on time. _No way! That never happens! Ever! We had to wait forever for him to show up last time. Could it be? Could this world’s Kakashi actually be… punctual?_ Unbidden, a grin found its way to Naruto’s face.  
  
“Team Seven, you’re with Hatake Kakashi.”  
  
“YES!” shouted Naruto, jumping to his feet. “Yes Yes YES YESYESYESYESYESYES! Woo!” Naruto’s impromptu celebration was drawing a lot of attention, but he didn’t care. He, Sakura, and that other guy were on Team Kakashi, and Sasuke wasn’t there to steal the best training, and Kakashi was actually not always late in this world, and everything was going to be awesome! A tugging on his arm brought him back to reality, where he noticed he was getting a lot of confused looks. A quick look revealed the source of the tugging to be the red-haired boy next to him.  
  
“Naruto, what are you doing?”  
  
“Celebrating! I’m on Team Kakashi!”  
  
The red-head looked confused. “No you aren’t.”  
  
“What do you mean? They said Kakashi is the instructor for Team Seven. That means I’m on his team.”  
  
“…Naruto, you’re on Team Five.” Just like that, the smile vanished from Naruto’s face. Slowly, he sank into his seat. At that point, the classroom erupted in laughter. Naruto began beating his head against the table before him.

0o0o0

  
Fortunately for Naruto, Sakura didn’t arrive until after he’d embarrassed himself in front of all his former classmates. Or rather, almost all his former classmates. Three of them besides Sakura (Ino, Kiba, and some guy named Myoujin Yahiko) had also been late for the meeting with their new jounin instructors. This actually led to Kakashi giving Kiba a lecture on the importance of punctuality. For Naruto, this new world had never seemed more surreal.  
  
Despite her tardiness, Sakura still managed to arrive before their new jounin instructor. _Figures,_ Naruto mentally griped. _Even in an alternate world where Kakashi isn’t always late, we still end up working with a tardy jounin._  
  
Eventually, even Iruka left, warning them that they might be waiting for a while. And so Team Five continued waiting.  
  
For one brief, terrifying moment, Might Gai had entered the room after everyone else had left, but it turned out that he was just giving Sakura a written message from Lee. _Probably a love letter. Man, that guy cannot take a hint. I almost feel sorry for ol’ bushy brows._ Naruto didn’t actually know the contents of the message, since it had been encoded, but with Lee it was a pretty safe bet. Especially since Sakura had seemed rather annoyed as she read it.  
  
 _Crap. Looks like we’re having even more secret training after we meet with our new jounin teachers,_ thought Sakura. _Damn. I wanted to try to get a date with Negi. For the sake of learning more about our teammates, of course. Or so I was going to tell him. But so much for that plan._ As Sakura mentally lamented the loss of her chance at a date, even Negi started losing his patience.  
  
 _What kind of jounin would show up over half an hour late to his or her first meeting with his or her new genin team? Is he or she going to be this late all the time? What kind of example is he or she setting for us? …What if there’s a reason our jounin instructor hasn’t arrived yet? What if something happened? Maybe some paperwork was misfiled and they didn’t get a jounin for our team. Maybe our jounin was accidentally sent on a mission. Maybe he or she died on that mission. What if we end up having to go back to the academy because no one is available to train us? …Would that count as me failing to be a ninja? Would I still be able to become a magister magi?_ Just as Negi was starting to work himself into a panicked frenzy, a voice came from the side of the room opposite to the door.  
  
“Excuse me. Do any of you know how to get to the Konoha ninja academy?” The voice came from a black-haired man in a rather beat-up looking yellow shirt, a pair of green pants, and shoes that were bound to his pant legs by tightly wrapped cloth. On his head sat not a forehead protector identifying him as a shinobi of the leaf, but a yellow bandanna with black markings repeating in a pattern. The man carried a rather large pack topped with a crimson umbrella, and a rather large tooth was visible extending from his mouth.  
  
Silence followed, as none of Team Five could figure out how to answer that question. Said silence was promptly misinterpreted.  
  
“Oh no! I’m not in another village again, am I? Crap! My genin team is going to be so pissed.”  
  
Negi decided to act before Naruto blew up at the man that was apparently their jounin instructor. “No, you’re in Konoha. This is the Konoha ninja academy. Does this mean you’re our instructor?”  
  
“Oh, thank goodness. I thought I’d never find my way here in time. So, I take it you’re Team Five?”  
  
Sakura managed to suppress her urge to yell at her new jounin instructor. _On time my ass!_ screamed her inner Sakura. _What the hell was he doing? We’ve been waiting here for almost an hour!_  
  
“On time MY ASS!” Naruto, on the other hand, did not do any suppressing whatsoever. “We’ve been waiting here for almost an hour! What the hell were you doing?”  
  
Hibiki Ryouga mentally groaned as he prepared to explain his directional difficulties to his new students.


	4. Chapter 4

 

**Chapter 4: Playing Dumb and Being Dumb**

  
“And that’s how a curse was placed on the Hibiki name. Now, anyone unfortunate enough to be named with it is granted an extremely bad sense of direction,” Ryouga finished. “Any questions?”  
  
 _That sounds like a bunch of crap_ , Naruto and Sakura both thought.  
  
“Why didn’t you just change your name?” asked Negi.  
  
Ryouga looked at him like he’d grown a second head. “I’m not marrying someone I don’t love just to get rid of that curse,” he replied. “Besides, I think it’s also genetic.”  
  
“That’s not what-” Negi started, but was interrupted by Ryouga.  
  
“ANYWAYS, now that we’re done talking about my extremely humiliating condition THAT I DON’T LIKE TALKING ABOUT, let’s introduce ourselves!” Ryouga practically shouted, a very large fake smile plastered on his face. “I’ll go first! My name is Hibiki Ryouga. I hate pork, getting lost, cold water, and curses. I like learning new techniques, Hiraishin no Jutsu, that Konoha has a huge wall surrounding it, and that Konoha has multiple highly visible landmarks that can be seen from almost anywhere in the village. My hobbies are practicing martial arts, er, I mean taijutsu, and thinking up new ways to defeat my rival. My dream is to one day get rid of the curses that plague me. Your turn!” he finished, pointing at the genin of Team Five.  
  
“Curs-” Negi started to ask, but was immediately interrupted.  
  
“I SAID, YOUR TURN!” shouted Ryouga, pointing at Naruto.  
  
“…” said Negi.  
  
“My name is Uzumaki Naruto! What I like is instant ramen! What I like even more is ramen from Ichiraku’s, especially when someone else pays for it. I hate the three minute wait after pouring in the boiling water. My dream is to one day become Hokage and surpass all the previous Hokages! My hobbies are…” Naruto paused for a second. _What did I do back then?_ “…pranks and practical jokes, I guess.”  
  
“Next,” Ryouga said.  
  
“My name is Negi Springfield.”  
  
 _Ah! That’s what his name was!_ thought Naruto.  
  
“There are plenty of things I like, and the only thing I really hate is taking baths.”  
  
 _I noticed,_ Naruto almost said. Despite not actually saying anything, he got a glare from Sakura.  
  
“My dreams are to one day become a ma… skilled ninja.” _Oops. I almost slipped up there,_ thought Negi. “And there is someone I hope to one day find. My hobbies are …practicing ninjutsu and training. Okay, your turn, Sakura.”  
  
Sakura blushed and, grinning, glanced at Negi. “My name is Haruno Sakura. My favorite thing is …well, it’s not a thing, it’s a person. A boy… and that boy is…uh… Let’s move on to my dream.” Sakura paused, and her blush intensified. And then her expression swiftly switched to one of disgust. “I hate Naruto-”  
  
“What!?” yelped Naruto, who up to that point had been entertaining the possibility that without Sasuke, the boy Sakura liked might have been him (although even he had realized it was unlikely). _Oh well. She’ll come around. She almost did last time. …Still hurts, though._  
  
“-and evil witches.” _Named Rita Repulsa,_ Sakura did not specify, prompting Negi to give her slightly scared look and Naruto to look at her in confusion.  
  
 _What?_ Naruto thought in surprise. _I know she didn’t say that last time. Is …is she sucking up to our jounin instructor about his supposed curse?_ Naruto cast a suspicious look at Ryouga, who either missed it or ignored it and continued to watch Sakura as she continued her introduction.  
  
“My hobbies are competing with Ino and beating on those putty-things that keep showing up in the village, lately.”  
  
Ryouga, picking up on the one thing of interest to him in her introduction, looked at her in surprise. “You have a rival?”  
  
“Ino. She used to be a friend, but now she just tries to show me up whenever she can, especially in front of the person I like. I hate her!”  
  
“Hmm…” Ryouga contemplated. _It sounds like one of my students is someone after my own heart. This should be interesting._ However, before Ryouga’s thoughts could drift off-course toward a certain red-clad, arrogant, loud-mouthed, son-of-a… er, wrenching his thoughts back to the present before they could drift to his own rival, Ryouga looked at his new team and started speaking. “Alright. Now that that’s out of the way, formal training begins tomorrow.”  
  
“Yes sir!” shouted Naruto. “What will our duties be?” _As if I didn’t know. Tomorrow’s the bell test._  
  
“Our first project involves only the members of this cell,” Ryouga replied.  
  
“What is it? What?” asked Naruto. _Hee hee hee. Playing dumb is kind of fun._  
  
 ** _Guess that’s a new one for you, huh?_** a familiar voice sounded from inside Naruto’s head. **_Usually, you’re not acting._**  
  
 _Gah! Kyuubi, when did you wake up? You’re not supposed to wake up until Jiraiya shoves me off the cliff!_  
  
 ** _That happened years ago, you moron. Since I’m trapped inside you, of course I’d be sent back with you. Any idiot would have realized this. Speaking of idiots, it looks like you just missed your assignment._**  
  
 _What?_ Naruto snapped back to the real world, where Ryouga, Negi, and Sakura were walking off. _Oh hell._ Quickly, Naruto ran after Ryouga, but as his new instructor turned the corner, he suddenly vanished. _…Ack! How’d he do that?_  
  
Deciding that it wasn’t important, he turned and ran after Sakura. “Wait! Sakura!”  
  
Sakura turned and cast an annoyed look in his direction. “What is it Naruto?” _Dammit! If you make me late for my training, I’ll kick your ass! I’m giving up a chance at a date for this!_  
  
“Er… where did Ryouga say we were meeting again?”  
  
“We’re meeting at training ground forty-four,” Sakura replied flatly.  
  
“Gotcha, thanks.” _Thanks for the heads up. I was going to go to training ground three._ The kyuubi simply snorted in response. _Alright, now time for ramen! Turning, Naruto started toward Ichiraku’s._

 

0o0o0

  
“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” wailed Naruto. “HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!” Tears streamed from his eyes as Naruto sank to his knees, sobbing. “It isn’t fair. I *sob* I was supposed to fix everything. But for what? How can I go on… without you?” In front of him was the empty lot where Ichiraku’s should have been. “WHAT SICK, TWISTED GOD DID I ANGER TO DESERVE THIS?!”  
  
From a prison deep inside him, cruel laughter emanated. The kyuubi hadn’t been this amused in quite a while.  
  
“Naruto?” a familiar voice asked. Turning, Naruto was met by the figure of Teuchi, the owner of Ichiraku’s. Staring at him from outside the entrance to Ichiraku’s. Which was just on the other side of the street. Suddenly, Naruto felt very, very dumb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiraishin no Jutsu - Flying Thunder God Technique: The teleportation technique used by the fourth Hokage, Namikaze Minato. With it, one can teleport to any location containing a certain symbol.
> 
> Taijutsu - The term ninjas in Naruto use for close range combat techniques (as opposed to ninjutsu or genjutsu).
> 
> Ninjutsu - Ninja magic, the staples of any ninja in a fantasy story. Techniques performed using chakra to do things that the human body cannot normally do, such as breathing fire, teleporting, or transforming into something else. 
> 
> Genjutsu (since I already mentioned the other two) - Ninja illusion techniques that work by using chakra to manipulate the mind of the target.


	5. No Bells in the Forest of Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto finally realizes that his genin test is not going to be the bell test that Kakashi used.

**Chapter 5: No Bells in the Forest of Death**

When Sakura arrived at training ground three, Lee, Ino, Tenten, Kiba, and Yahiko were already there. _Looks like I’m the last to arrive._ As she approached the group, Lee spotted her first.  
  
“Ah, Sakura! You have finally arrived! I was beginning to fear that you had decided to ditch on our final training session! That would have been most unyouthful!” Turning, he began to address the entire group. “As you know, if all goes well, this will be our final training session. You have already passed the final exam at the academy, and as such, no longer need help preparing for it.”  
  
 _Oh hell,_ thought Sakura. Several months had passed since Sakura and the other Power Rangers had, upon Tenten’s urging, started training with Lee to improve their taijutsu. They had asked for his help under the pretense of preparing for the academy graduation exam. Lee had been impressed at their ‘youthful spirit and determination’ to train outside of class and immediately agreed to help them. However, with them having graduated from the academy, that pretense no longer held up. Apparently, Lee had realized this and concluded that they weren’t going to train with him anymore.  
  
“What you may not know, however, is that you are not yet genin. Each of you has one final test that will be bestowed upon you by your new jounin instructors. Failure means being returned to the academy.”  
  
“What?” Ino and Sakura both yelped. “My instructor didn’t say anything about that!” Immediately afterward, they turned and glared at each other.  
  
“Indeed,” Lee replied. “Some of the instructors prefer to test their new students without telling them of the stakes. It is their way of ensuring that the students being tested act no different than they would if it were any other mission.”  
  
“That’s not fair!” Sakura replied, sounding irritated. “My instructor told me we were going camping in training ground forty-four! I thought we were getting a short vacation.”  
  
“You’re test is that you’re camping in the forest of death?!” Tenten asked, looking horrified. Lee also looked surprised at this revelation. “Is he trying to get you killed?”  
  
Sakura paled. “Is… is it that bad?”  
  
“That bad? They use the forest of death to test chunin. Genin aren’t even supposed to be in there, normally. That place is way too dangerous for fresh academy graduates.”  
  
“I’m…I’m sure that your new instructor will take measures to keep you safe,” Lee replied, though he sounded rather uncertain. “If it does come down to your team dying or failing, please fail. You will get another chance next term. It is not worth risking your team in a situation they cannot handle. That is actually what I wanted to talk about tonight.” Lee turned back toward the rest of the group. “Normally, only a third of the genin teams are accepted. Since there were ten teams of graduates in your class, only three of them are going to become genin. So… are any of you on the same team?”  
  
The four academy graduates looked at each other. “Aw crap.”  
  
“That is what I was afraid of. Regardless of how well you do, at least one of you is going to be sent back to the academy. I am sorry. I can offer to continue to help train whoever does not make it, but I am afraid that is all I can do.”  
  
 _…Wait._ “I’ll help too,” replied Sakura, casting a meaningful look at the others.  
  
“Me too,” Ino immediately volunteered. “After all, how would it look if I didn’t help when Sakura was willing to?”  
  
“Me and Akamaru will also help whoever doesn’t make it,” Kiba added.  
  
“You’re not leaving me out of this!” Yahiko practically shouted, a determined look on his face.  
  
“Looks like we’re going to keep training together for a while, then,” said Tenten with a grin.  
  
“YOSH! Very well! We shall continue to aid each other in our training! Tonight, let us train to our hearts content so that tomorrow you all do the best that you possibly can!”  
  
“YEAH!”

0o0o0

  
Negi quietly packed his newly purchased camping gear. He hadn’t actually expected being a ninja to involve camping, so up until that day, he hadn’t owned any. However, Ryouga had told him to come prepared for a camping trip, and training ground forty-four appeared to be a forest of some sort, so acquiring some had been necessary. Looking around his otherwise empty apartment, Negi sighed. _Hopefully we will start getting missions, soon. Otherwise, my budget may get rather tight._  
  
Sighing again, he turned to his training dummy. After staring at it for a few seconds, he let go of his pack. With a single motion, he drew the staff from his back and pointed it toward the dummy. A moment later, two magic arrows of lightning crashed into it. _Darn. Still just two. Looks like that’s all I can do without using the chant. And while I can pass this off as a jutsu easily enough, I doubt I’ll be able to do that with any spells that I use the chants for._  
  
Returning the staff to his back, he picked up his pack and carried it over to the door. Setting it down next to his ninja gear, Negi turned and headed over to his bed.

0o0o0

  
Naruto, now thoroughly filled with his favorite meal, attempted to get some sleep. Unfortunately, this proved to be unexpectedly difficult. Not for the first time that night, he rolled over in his bed, his thoughts on the upcoming test. _Training ground forty-four. What was it about that place? I know it’s something important, but I can’t remember what._ Despite his best efforts, Naruto simply couldn’t recall what it was about training ground forty-four that was important. _Oh well. I’ll find out in the morning. For now, I should just focus on getting some sleep. Can’t go out there tired and hungry like I did last time. This time, I’m gonna get that stupid bell, no matter what!_ With a confident grin, Naruto finally managed to drift off to sleep.

0o0o0

  
The next day, Naruto set out bright and early, intending to be the first member of his team to get to the meeting point. Because punctuality was important. That Sakura hated people who were always late had very little to do with it. Really.  
  
As Naruto arrived at training ground forty-four, he finally remembered what it was that he’d been unable to recall the night before. _…Oh fuck. Training ground forty-four is the Forest of Death._  
  
Surprisingly, despite arriving early to try to impress Sakura with his punctuality, he found that he wasn’t the first person to arrive. Somehow, his new instructor had actually beaten him there. And apparently, gotten bored, set up a campfire, roasted something over it, eaten it, left the bones of whatever he ate by the fire, extinguished said fire, set up a tent, and gone to sleep inside it.  
  
 _…Wait. Did he actually camp out over here?_ Before Naruto could wake up his new jounin instructor to get an answer for his question, Sakura arrived. Carrying a large pack not unlike the one Ryouga had worn the day before. _Oh come on! Is she going to start dressing like him next?_ Fuming, Naruto walked over to the tent, intending to kick his new sensei awake.  
  
Spotting the tent, Sakura groaned. _Okay, our instructor is taking this curse crap way too far,_ thought Sakura. Briefly humoring the idea of kicking him awake, Sakura took a step toward the tent. And frowned as her eyes reached Naruto. Who did not have a pack with him. “Naruto… where’s your equipment?”  
  
“Huh?” Naruto looked at the side of his leg, verifying the presence of his pouch of ninja tools. “Right here,” he replied, tapping said pouch.  
  
“Not that! Your camping gear? Where is it?”  
  
 _…Camping gear?_ However, before Naruto had a chance to invoke a beating from Sakura, Negi arrived.  
  
“Naruto, Sakura, good morning. I see you’ve already started setting up camp. …Er, is Ryouga sleeping?”  
  
“Yes, he is,” Sakura said with a frown. “HEY! WAKE UP!”  
  
Naruto, still irritated at Sakura’s apparent sucking up to their instructor and missing that Negi also had a pack, helpfully delivered a swift kick to the side of his sleeping instructor. And then immediately clutched his foot in pain. _ARG! What the hell is he made of? Iron?_  
  
Sleepily, Ryouga sat up. After rubbing his eyes, he looked around. “Ah. So this was the right place. Good morning, everyone.” Yawning, he shrugged off his blanket and climbed out of his tent. He took a moment to look over his students, then turned his attention to Naruto. “Planning on roughing it all the way, eh? Considering just where we’re camping, that’s probably not the best idea. So just this once, I’ll lend you my equipment. But in the future, if I say you should bring something, do yourself a favor and bring it.” Naruto responded with a confused look. A look that Ryouga missed entirely as he began putting his camping gear back into his pack.  
  
“But instructor, what will you use?” asked Negi. “Or did you bring extra food and sleeping bags in case someone forgot theirs?” Naruto’s look of confusion changed to one of horror.  
  
 _Oh hell. Oh hell! We’re not doing the bell test._ The kyuubi started laughing. _Why are you…? YOU! YOU KNEW!_  
  
 ** _Of course I did. Just because you stop paying attention to your surroundings when you talk to me doesn’t mean I stop paying attention when I talk to you._**  
  
 _You asshole! Why didn’t you say something?_  
  
 ** _Why should I help you? It’s so much more entertaining when you have no idea what’s going on. Besides, it’s not as if failing this test means death. By the way, you’re doing it again._**  
  
 _What? Oh dammit!_ Naruto brought his attention back to reality, just in time for Ryouga to hand him a kunai.  
  
“If you use them you forfeit the test.”  
  
Naruto felt like screaming in frustration as the kyuubi began laughing once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Bell Test - The test that Kakashi used in the original Naruto manga. It involved his genin trying to steal bells from him. Supposedly, if they got a bell, they passed. However, there were only two bells and three genin, so only two could pass. In actuality, the test was actually testing their ability to cooperate when played against each other. If they had teamed up against Kakashi in spite of the requirements, they would have passed, regardless of if they got a bell or not. Of course, Ryouga isn't Kakashi, and this isn't the test he's using.


	6. Spoilers: They Pass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto, Sakura, and Negi take their genin test in the Forest of Death.

**Chapter 6: Spoilers – They Pass**

  
Sleepily, Ryouga sat up. After rubbing his eyes, he looked around. “Ah. So this was the right place. Good morning, everyone.” Yawning, he shrugged off his blanket and climbed out of his tent. He took a moment to look over his students, then turned his attention to Naruto. “Planning on roughing it all the way, eh? Considering just where we’re camping, that’s probably not the best idea. So just this once, I’ll lend you my equipment. But in the future, if I say you should bring something, do yourself a favor and bring it.” Naruto responded with a confused look. A look that Ryouga missed entirely as he began putting his camping gear back into his pack.  
  
“But instructor, what will you use?” asked Negi. “Or did you bring extra food and sleeping bags in case someone forgot theirs?” Naruto’s look of confusion changed to one of horror. And then his eyes went unfocused.  
  
“I’m not going,” Ryouga replied. “The truth is, I wasn’t entirely honest with you when I told you we were going camping yesterday. You three are not actually genin yet. Every graduating academy student has to pass one final test before they become genin. In your case, that test is to survive for one week in the forest of death by yourselves. Now, this training ground is very dangerous. You’ll have to work together if you want to have any hope of passing this test. That said, even if you all work together, you may still run into something you can’t handle. If you do, throw one of these.” At that point, Ryouga withdrew three kunai with seals drawn on the handles of them. “These kunai have seals on them that will summon me if you throw them. I’ll be able to handle anything that shows up in that forest,” he said, handing one to Sakura. “However, only use these in an emergency.” He handed one to Naruto, whose eyes suddenly refocused on Ryouga, then the kunai. “If you use them you forfeit the test.” With that, he handed the last one to Negi.  
  
“Failing means that you’ll have to go back to the academy for more training. So try to pass, okay.” Having finished packing his camping gear up, he turned and lightly passed the full pack to Naruto. “Catch.”  
  
“Er, could you repea-ACK!” As Naruto caught the pack, he collapsed to the ground under the weight of its contents. _The hell? Why is this so heavy?_  
  
“Huh. Looks like you could use some strength training. …Anyways, see you in a week.” With that, Ryouga made a few handseals and vanished.  


0o0o0

  
Deep within her underground base (that was not on the moon), Rita Repulsa grinned. Using her magic crystal ball, she had been spying on the Power Rangers, and had discovered something exploitable. “Finster! It seems that the Red Ranger has to stay in the Forest of Death for her genin test! Without the other rangers!”  
  
“I see!” said Finster. “Without her allies, she should be vulnerable. And with only four members, the other rangers should be easier to defeat.”  
  
“It’s better than that! She’s with two other academy students! She can’t even morph to defend herself!”  
  
“Indeed? Shall I send out the putty patrol to take care of her?”  
  
“Do it!”  
  
“As you command.” Turning, Finster pressed some magic clay into the molds, then pressed them shut. A moment later he withdrew several humanoid clay figures from them and placed them onto a tray. “Now into the monstermatic they go. Ten seconds should do it.” With the spinning of a wheel and the pull of a switch, several gray, humanoid figures were ejected from the monster-making machine.  
  
“Now go! Destroy the Red Ranger!”  


0o0o0

  
Silently, Sakura, Negi, Naruto, Naruto, Naruto, and Naruto (it had taken four Narutos to carry Ryouga’s absurdly heavy pack at a halfway decent speed) trudged their way into the forest of death. Already they had been attacked by several of the forest animals. And forest plants, forest insects, and even the forest terrain. So far, Sakura had managed to kill most of them before they got close enough to do any damage. Nevertheless, at this point, even Naruto had realized that making a lot of unnecessary noise was a rather bad idea.  
  
 _Damn,_ Sakura mentally swore. _At this rate, we’ll have to keep a constant guard while we sleep. And while Negi and me are both qualified, we’ve got Naruto with us. We’ll have to keep at least two people on guard while the other sleeps if we don’t want to get eaten by something while he’s on guard. This week is going to suck. At least we’ll be able to get him to use those shadow clones to gather stuff. Although Negi or me will have to sort through whatever he brings us to separate what’s garbage from what’s useful. On the plus side, at least he’s keeping quiet, now. We haven’t been attacked by anything for almost fifteen minutes, now._  
  
As if on cue, a team of putties suddenly dropped to the forest floor around them. Waving their arms, they started their garbled babbling.  
  
 _Oh crap! Oh crap! This is bad!_ thought Sakura. _If I was alone, I could take this many putties out by myself, easily. But with Negi and Naruto here, I can’t morph without revealing my identity. And Naruto can’t hold his own. He was dead last in class! And these things are being really loud. If we don’t take them out fast, we’ll have half the predators in the forest on top of us in minutes._ “Negi, protect Naruto. I’ll take care of these things!” Or rather, that is what she would have said if she hadn’t been preempted by a certain blond teammate.  
  
“Kage Bunshin no Jutsu” To the left and right of Naruto, a pair of clones appeared. _What the?_ “I said, KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!” This time, roughly twenty clones appeared. _That’s better._  
  
As Sakura stared at Naruto in surprise, the clones rushed toward the putties. And promptly began vanishing in poofs of smoke as the putties defeated them.  
  
 _Ack! What’s going on?_ If Naruto had bothered to think about it, he would have realized that, being from the future where he was 16, he was used to fighting with longer limbs and being much faster and stronger than he presently was. He also might have realized that his muscle memory currently consisted of that of a badly trained academy student as opposed to that of the strongest genin in Konoha. Unfortunately, Naruto had not put any thought into this in the brief amount of time that had passed since his reality-warping, time-travelling incident. Consequently, he had not spent any time adjusting to his new form. So he also hadn’t discovered that his chakra control was also shot thanks to his poorly-trained twelve-year-old body. All of which resulted in a rather one-sided fight for his clones. Fortunately, he wasn’t by himself.  
  
“POWER SWORD!” Sakura yelled, throwing herself into the fray and lashing out at the nearest putty with a sword that appeared seemingly from nowhere.  
  
 _Sagitta Magica: Series Lucis!,_ thought Negi as he blasted two nearby putties with what appeared to be lasers before spinning and striking a third with his staff.  
  
 _Why can’t I hit anything?_ wondered Naruto, more than a little panicked at his sudden lack of ability. As numerous clones’ memories flooded into him, his eyes abruptly widened. Diving to the side, he barely managed to evade a very large tiger that lunged at him from behind. Having missed its target, it began mauling the nearest putty. “TIGER!” yelled Naruto.  
  
“WHAT?” yelled Sakura, just before she too spotted the large feline. _Crap! It’s happening. We’ve got to get out of here, now!_ “Negi, Naruto, get to the trees! Adult tigers don’t climb them.” Without waiting to see if they listened, Sakura launched herself at the nearest putty. Using its head as a stepping stool, she jumped again, this time grabbing a low hanging branch. Pulling herself up, she turned to check on her teammates. Just in time to see Naruto apparently defy physics and run straight up the side of a tree. For about five steps before he fell off and landed on his head.  
  
“Ack!” Clutching his head in pain, Naruto rolled back to his feet. _AAAAAUUUUGH! NOTHING’S WORKING!_ The tiger, finished killing its putty, moved on to the next closest potential prey. Unfortunately for Naruto, that happened to be him. “AAAAAUUUUUGH! KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!” Five more Narutos poofed into existence, then ran in five different directions while the last one just stood there and screamed.  
  
Sakura winced as the tiger pounced on the immobile, screaming Naruto. Fortunately, that Naruto vanished into a puff of smoke, revealing it to be a clone. A sudden yanking on her leg brought her attention back to her own predicament. The remaining putties, having decided to ignore Naruto and Negi, were now attempting to climb the tree after her. With a quick slash, the putty that had been pulling on her leg found itself short a hand. A kick later, and it also found itself on the ground. Digging into her ninja pouch, Sakura began peppering the putties with shuriken.  


0o0o0

  
“Naruto!” a voice yelled.  
  
Turning to look, Naruto found the source of the call to be the short guy. _Negi. That was it._ More importantly, he was lowering a rope from up in a tree. Immediately, Naruto swerved toward the rope. Unfortunately, so did all his clones. Consequently, so did the tiger. “ACK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GO THAT WAY!” Realizing their mistake, the clones abruptly swerved away from the rope. Grabbing it, Naruto began frantically climbing for the relative safety of the trees.  
  
As soon as Naruto reached the branch Negi was on, he dispelled his clones. As a result, the tiger turned its attention to the only potential prey in the immediate vicinity that was still on the ground: the remaining putties.  


0o0o0

  
“NO!” shouted Rita. “That tiger is eating my putties! The Red Ranger is going to get away!”  
  
“If only they were strong enough to fend off that beast,” said Finster. “My queen, perhaps if you…”  
  
“Ah! I see.” Raising her magic staff, Rita looked into the magic crystal ball she had been viewing the battle with. “MAGIC WAND!” she cried, slamming the butt of the staff into the crystal ball. “MAKE MY PUTTIES GROW!”  


0o0o0

  
Sakura’s eyes widened in surprise as the remaining three putties suddenly began rapidly expanding. _Oh crap!_ Diving out of the tree, she landed in a roll, immediately turning to face the growing putties and the tiger. However, as the putties enlarged, they quickly nullified the threat of the tiger, crushing it along with the tree she had just been in. _We’re still in the village! I have to morph and stop them, even if it means revealing my identity!_ Raising her communicator to her face, Sakura began contacting Zordon. “Zordon, Rita’s got three giant putties in the middle of the village!”  
  
Unbeknownst to Sakura, Negi and Naruto were having similar thoughts. _Oh no! Those clay golems are going to kill us! I have to stop them, even if it means exposing my magic!_ “Ras Tel Ma Scir Magister…”  
  
 _Oh crap! Those grey things got huge! Fox, gimme all the chakra you can spare!_  
  
 **No.**  
  
What? Why not?  
  
 **Because it would be a waste of my powers. Just use that special kunai you got from your jounin instructor earlier. It should take care of the problem.**  
  
But then I’ll fail!  
  
 **And that’s more important than possibly dying?**  
  
…Dammit. Pulling the kunai from his pouch, Naruto threw it upward, toward the chest of the nearest giant putty. _I really hope that explosive tag has enough power to take these things out._  
  
 **Explosive tag?**  


0o0o0

  
Ryouga was eating lunch. He had managed to cook up a stew from ingredients he’d managed to gather from around Konoha, and it had actually come out pretty decent. He glanced at his watch. _Still two hours to go._  
  
While he had told his students their test was to camp out in the Forest of Death for a week, he had no intention of actually letting them do so. Secretly, he had arranged for Kurenai to cast a genjutsu over his students after she had finished testing her own group. The genjutsu would show them a situation in which they couldn’t possibly hope to get out of without at least one of their teammates dying. If at least one of them threw their kunai, then the whole team would pass. However, if they tried to get out on their own by sacrificing their teammates, they would fail. And of course, if they threw the kunai early for something stupid, like a pack of Konoha jumping leeches, they would also fail. If it was for something serious… eh, he’d cross that bridge if it happened.  
  
As if on cue, Ryouga suddenly found himself falling backwards from an immense clay structure into the forest of death.  


0o0o0

  
“Contact the other power -”  
  
“Veniant spiritus aeriales-”  
  
A loud crashing noise interrupted Negi and Sakura, drawing their attention upwards. Just in time to see their instructor smash through the forest canopy, then slam into the ground. Sakura and Negi fell silent. Naruto did not.  
  
“Oh crap! I think I just killed our instructor!” Naruto yelled. Negi just stared at him in horror, all attempts at spellcasting forgotten for the moment.  
  
“Urg…” With a grunt, Ryouga started to get up.  
  
“Ack! I mean, uh, Negi did it!”  
  
“Hey!”  
  
As he stood up, Ryouga took in the largest pair of feet he’d ever seen. Looking up, he realized that what he had initially mistaken for some sort of structure was actually a giant golem of some sort. And two more were standing behind it. _Huh. These golems look kind of… mangled._ “Okay, that probably constitutes a real emergency. I guess you all pass.” Turning, Ryouga faced the forest. “Hey, Kurenai! I thought I said to use genjutsu! Not earth golems. Also, you’re like two hours ea-” Which was as far as he got before the nearest giant putty stepped on him.  
  
Sakura and Negi resumed silently staring in horror. This time, Naruto joined them. However, before the putty could take another step, a green glow began emitting from underneath the putty’s foot. “Perfect Shishi Hokodan!” At that, the putty vanished in a massive pillar of glowing green light. As the pillar vanished into the sky, Ryouga launched himself at the foot of the next putty. “RAAAH! Bakusai Tenketsu!” Said foot vanished in an explosion, and the putty toppled into the same spot the first had vanished at. Just in time for a gargantuan glowing green ball of light to land on it, crushing it into the ground. Turning to the last putty, Ryouga cracked his knuckles.  
  
“…Zordon?” Sakura said into her communicator. “Nevermind.”  


0o0o0

  
Rita watched her crystal ball with increasing frustration. Nevertheless, she remained silent as a single jounin demonstrated once again why she needed to take care of Konoha first if she wanted to have a legitimate shot of conquering the planet.  
  
“My queen…?” Finster asked, uncertainly.  
  
“…Finster… just… just get me some aspirin. I think I feel a headache coming on,” Rita replied, rubbing her temples

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone wondering, Rita's base is not on the moon because in the Naruto world, the moon wasn't present 10,000 years earlier.
> 
> Kage Bunshin no Jutsu - Shadow Clone Technique: Creates a solid copy of the user capable of using ninjutsu. Both the user and the copy can end the technique. Forcing more chakra into the technique results in more clones.
> 
> Sagitta Magica: Series Lucis - Magic Arrow: Light Series: A spell that creates magic arrows of light. While the spell can be cast silently, using the incantation allows the user to fire more arrows. The arrows are homing and will follow their targets.
> 
> Ras Tel Ma Scir Magister: This is just the keyword to activate Negi's magic. While he can use magic without saying it, the majority of his magical power is unavailable for his use unless he says this before casting a spell.
> 
> Veniant spiritus aeriales - Come, spirits of air: First few words of the incantation for the strongest spell Negi currently knows, Jovis Tempastas Fulguriens (Jupiter's Lightning Storm).
> 
> Perfect Shishi Hokodan - Perfect Lion's Roar Shot: The technique empowers the user's ki using negative emotions (fear, rage, and especially depression), then fires all of it out of the user's body in a vertical pillar of power. The ki accumulates at the top of the pillar into a gigantic ball of ki, then falls back to earth.
> 
> Bakusai Tenketsu - Breaking Point: This technique detonates inorganic matter by inserting the user's ki into the object via their finger. It doesn't work on humans or animals. It does, however, work on clay...


	7. In Which Kurenai is Absolutely Livid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto, Negi, Sakura, and Ryouga all deal with the aftermath of Team Five's genin test. And Kurenai deals with the aftermath of agreeing to help Ryouga with anything.

 

**Chapter 7: In Which Kurenai is Absolutely Livid**

  
Turning back from the remains of the giant golems he had just finished destroying, Ryouga faced his team. Or rather, faced where he thought they were. After looking around for a few seconds, he spotted them, then actually turned in the right direction.  “Congratulations. Starting today, you are now all genin.” Ryouga was met with silence and confused, wide-eyed stares. “…Er, aren’t you happy? Or at least wondering why you didn’t fail even though you threw that kunai?”  
  
“How come you aren’t dead?” Naruto asked bluntly. “That big gray thing stepped on you!”  
  
“So? It wasn’t that heavy; just a few hundred tons.” Ryouga looked confused at the question. However, nobody bothered to clarify, and after a few moments of awkward silence, Ryouga continued. “Anyways, meet me at training ground three at 8 A.M. tomorrow morning. I’ll test your abilities, then we can go on our first mission together. Right now, I’ve got some paperwork to file.” Turning, Ryouga walked over to his pack, picked it up, and started heading deeper into the forest. Then he paused. Almost as an afterthought, he turned to face the group again. “Oh, right. You’ll want to hold on to this,” he said, passing a kunai with a summoning seal on it to Naruto. It was the same kunai that had been used to summon him only moments beforehand. “Don’t lose yours either, you two.” At that, Ryouga disappeared deeper into the forest.  
  
"...Isn't that the wrong way?"

0o0o0

**Aftermath: Naruto**

  
Naruto looked around, verifying once again that nobody else was currently using the training ground. His status as the sole ninja in the area confirmed, he walked over to the nearest training post. “RASENGAN!”  
  
Stepping back, he looked over his work with a frown. The training post appeared to be completely untouched. “DAMMIT! RASENGAN!” yelled Naruto, repeating his previous effort with a similar result. “RASENGAN!” Again, the training post appeared undamaged. “RASENGAN RASENGAN RASENGAN!!! Grrr!” With a growl, Naruto focused all the chakra he could into both of his hands, then shoved them together, began spinning them around each other, and tried again. “RASENGAN!”  
  
This time, an extremely shallow spiraling groove cut its way into the training post. “AAAUUGH!” _Dammit! This is so shallow that I wouldn’t even notice it if I wasn’t looking for it! If it’s that way, then…!_ “Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!” Several clones appeared around Naruto. With a growl, Naruto dispelled the extras. Then he and the sole remaining clone shoved their hands together and began focusing their chakra. “RASENGAN!”  
  
This time, the spiral of grooves was more easily noticeable, having been focused into a smaller area. But it was still just a spiral of grooves, as opposed to the gaping hole the actual Rasengan would leave. _Damn! Why can’t I do the Rasengan? Even trying it with a clone isn’t working! It’s like I’m fresh out of the academy again with no control over my chakra! …Oh hell._  
  
Turning, Naruto charged toward a nearby stream and attempted to water walk. Seconds later, a thoroughly soaked Naruto ran at the nearest tree, then ran up the side of it. For all of six steps before falling off, and landing on his head. _Shit! It **is** like I’m fresh out of the academy with no control over my chakra!_ thought Naruto, clutching his head in pain. _I can’t use the Rasengan, I don’t have good control over how many clones I summon, I doubt I can still use wind chakra, and attempting to go into sage mode will probably turn me into a frog statue. And to top it all off, I’m slower, weaker, and have shorter limbs than I’m used to!_  
  
After a few seconds of rubbing his head, Naruto got back up. _Alright, if it’s like that…_ Pulling out a kunai, Naruto charged back up the side of the tree.

0o0o0

**Aftermath: Sakura**

  
After leaving their respective tests, the rangers met up at the command center, a secret base outside of Konoha that was normally only accessible via teleportation. Which, coincidentally, was exactly how they accessed it.  
  
“Now that we’re all here, let’s go ahead and get this out of the way,” said Tenten, looking at the other rangers. “Who passed?”  
  
Three hands went up. Sakura’s, Ino’s, and Yahiko’s. Everyone looked at Kiba. An awkward silence ensued. “My team didn’t make it,” he stated flatly.  
  
“…Don’t worry,” Tenten said, a little too hesitantly to actually be reassuring. “You’ll get another shot in a few months. Not every genin makes it on their first try. And now that you know the test is about teamwork, you’ll be better prepared.”  
  
“Wait, the test was about teamwork? What the hell?” asked Kiba, clearly frustrated.  
  
“Er, what did you think it was about?” asked Ino.  
  
“Combat skills! We were supposed to beat down our jounin instructor and take some bells from him. Whoever got the bells, passed. But there were only two, so we got in a fight with each other to see who got to try to get them. After I beat Hinata until she started crying, he told us we failed. How were we supposed to know that was a test about teamwork! He pitted us against each other!”  
  
More awkward silence ensued. And then Yahiko started snickering, which was immediately met with a glare from Kiba. “I’m sorry. It’s just-” snerk, “you attacked your teammates during a test of teamwork?!” At this point he burst out laughing.  
  
“Hey! It’s not funny!”  
  
“It is! It is so funny!”  
  
“Yeah? Well… shut up!”

0o0o0

**Aftermath: Negi**

  
Back at his apartment, Negi recorded a message for his cousin, Nekane, informing her of his success at finally becoming a genin. Living alone, nobody interrupted him, and he was able to record his message without disturbance.

0o0o0

**Aftermath: Ryouga**

  
Hibiki Ryouga was lost. After giving his team tomorrow’s assignment, he had left, intending to head to the Hokage Tower to file the paperwork for his new team. Except he hadn’t made it to the Hokage Tower. Instead, he’d gone deeper into the Forest of Death, then somehow come out in a desert after a few hours. After wandering about for another hour, he’d realized that the Hokage Monument, which could be seen from almost anywhere in Konoha, was nowhere in sight, despite the fact that his view was unobstructed for miles.  
  
Cursing, Ryouga had used Hiraishin no Jutsu to return to his apartment. He had then spent 15 minutes trying to find the front door. After successfully exiting his apartment, he had looked around until he’d spotted the Hokage Tower. Then, he’d taken to the roofs and cut the straightest path he could toward the Tower.  
  
It had taken him another hour to actually get to the Hokage’s office once he had entered the tower, and, paperwork in tow, he had Hiraishin no Jutsu’d his way back to his apartment. Only afterword did it occur to him that he probably could have just filled out the paperwork in another room in the tower. Mentally berating himself, Ryouga began filling out the paperwork to register his new team of genin students. As he filled it out, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had forgotten to do something.

0o0o0

**Aftermath: Kurenai**

  
Yuuhi Kurenai was absolutely livid. Ryouga had asked her to place his team under a genjutsu as part of his genin team’s final test once she was done testing her own team. She had assumed that, like anyone possessing any ability for forethought whatsoever, Ryouga would make arrangements to actually make this possible. She had been wrong.  
  
Instead, Ryouga had sent them into the forest of death under the pretense that their final test was a survival test. The forest of death was absolutely gigantic, had low visibility, and was filled with dangerous flora and fauna. Which meant that said genin team could be pretty much anywhere in it by this point. Unfortunately, Ryouga had failed to include a method for monitoring them in his preparations. All he had given them were kunai with a summoning jutsu placed on them, as well as the symbol for a landing point for his Hiraishin no Jutsu. If Ryouga had actually been present, she would have had the option of having him teleport over to his team while transformed, then send up some sort of signal so that she could locate them. However, Ryouga was not present and had not thought to give her one of the summoning kunai. And if she couldn’t find the team, they probably wouldn’t use their kunai. Which meant that they were going to be almost as impossible to find as Ryouga himself. So now Kurenai was hunting a team of genin that were probably somewhere in the Forest of Death. Assuming, of course, that Ryouga had actually been able to find them to give them their test to begin with (which was probably a bad assumption to make, now that she thought about it). And since Ryouga hadn’t told her who his genin team consisted of, she couldn’t just look for one of them at their home to see if the test had been assigned or not. The smart thing to do would be to get the team roster from Iruka, look up who was on Ryouga’s team, locate the address of one of them, then see if they were home. _Yes. That’s what I’ll do. So what if they’re out here somewhere. If they aren’t, I’m wasting my time. And if they are, I’ll only be gone for maybe an hour. Leaving a team of fresh academy graduates unattended in the Forest of Death. But even if something happened, they could just summon Ryouga. Which they would assume would mean failing their test, so they wouldn’t do it unless they realized they were absolutely screwed. Which would probably be too late, if anything actually did happen. …Dammit. I hate you, Ryouga._ Gritting her teeth, Kurenai resumed her search **.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rasengan – Spiraling Sphere: A technique originally developed by the fourth Hokage, Namikaze Minato. The Rasengan forms a rapidly spinning sphere of chakra in the palm of the user’s hand. This sphere can drill through most materials and causes severe internal damage when used against humans. However, the Rasengan is an incomplete technique, meant to eventually be infused with elemental chakra to form a new technique. Minato died before completing it. As such, while Minato created the Rasengan, the technique wasn’t completed until over a decade and a half later by Naruto. Or at least, that’s how things used to be. Now, the completed technique does not exist outside of Naruto's memories of a nonexistent timeline.
> 
> Kage Bunshin no Jutsu – Shadow Clone Technique: This technique creates solid, autonomous copies of the user, and is Naruto’s signature technique. Said clones are capable of using ninjutsu, but dispel after taking light amounts of damage. Any memories accumulated by the clones are returned to the user of the technique when they dispel.
> 
> Hiriashin no Jutsu – Flying Thundergod Technique: This technique teleports the user to the location of a certain symbol. Anywhere these symbols are, the user can instantly transport themselves to, regardless of distance. It was the signature technique of Namikaze Minato, the fourth Hokage, and was sadly lost with his death. However, Ryouga was able to reverse-engineer an inferior form of the technique from an even more inferior version that still existed within Konoha. Ryouga now uses this to get to his apartment.


	8. Jounin Instructor Ryouga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryouga demonstrates his teaching skill as the jounin-sensei of Team 5. Or his lack of it, anyway.

**Chapter 8: Jounin Instructor Ryouga**

  
Naruto watched in stunned silence as Sakura lunged at their new jounin instructor once again (a sharp contrast to Negi’s cheering). _…Sakura was **not** this good the first time around. No way._ It was hard to say because Naruto had not seen her fight much prior to the chuunin exams, but by his estimate, she could probably kick his ass in a straight-up fight. _Hell, she could probably kick Sasuke’s ass. Well, the Sasuke from this point in time. If he still existed, which he apparently doesn’t._  
  
However, despite the furious flurry of strikes she was sending at him, Sakura wasn’t managing to land a single hit on Ryouga. She had made him block a few times, but that was it. It was like when Naruto had fought Kakashi during the bell test all over again. At least Ryouga wasn’t reading a book while fighting.  
  
“Hmm…” said Ryouga. And then he stopped moving. Sakura, on the other hand, did not. Immediately, she landed a haymaker to his face. And then leapt back, clutching her hand in pain, while Ryouga didn’t even flinch.  
  
“Good speed, decent power, and good form. Not bad, for a genin.” Ryouga waited for a moment while Sakura rubbed her hand.  
  
Naruto just stared. _Okay, that’s disheartening. Even Kakashi had the decency to leave us with the impression that we could have hurt him if we’d actually connected. I don’t even see a red spot where she hit him._  
  
“Sakura, are you okay?” asked Negi, looking rather worried. Immediately, Sakura straightened.  
  
“I’m fine,” she replied casually, dropping her hands to her side. Unfortunately, regardless of how much she wanted to, Sakura couldn’t make the red on her knuckles vanish. So instead she tucked her hands together behind her back, suppressing a wince as she grabbed her injured hand.  
  
 _And there she goes posturing in front of our instructor, again. Dammit, I want to hit something._ Naruto stepped forward. “I’m next!” he announced, taking a stance. Or a crappy imitation of one, anyway. Naruto took a moment to adjust his stance, as his memories from another time battled with his body’s muscle memory. _…Ah, screw it._ Dropping the stance, he charged at Ryouga.  
  
The next few minutes were spent by Naruto repeatedly missing Ryouga while Negi cheered him on and Sakura quietly fumed over being so thoroughly outclassed by their jounin instructor. Unlike with Sakura, Ryouga didn’t have to block any of Naruto’s blows, much to his chagrin. _Dammit! I can’t even touch him! Stupid short, twelve-year-old arms!_ Jumping back, Naruto threw his hands together into his most used handseal. “Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!” Fourteen shadow clones poofed into existence and charged Ryouga, only to vanish into fourteen puffs of smoke just as quickly as they reached the jounin.  
  
“I’m testing your taijutsu, Naruto, not your ninjutsu,” Ryouga said as he finished plowing through Naruto’s shadow clones like they were illusory ones. _His form is sloppy, he’s not nearly as quick as Sakura, and he seems to think his arms are longer than they are. How did he pass with taijutsu this bad?_ “And it looks like you need a lot of work. You’re done.” Stopping, he turned to look for Negi (in the wrong direction).  
  
 _Chance!_ Naruto lunged forward and swung at the stationary Ryouga with all his might. Only to miss as Ryouga abruptly started walking. Overextending, he fell forward and landed in a heap on the ground next to him. Ryouga didn’t notice as he kept looking for Negi.  
  
“…Don’t worry, Naruto,” said Negi, as he walked up to him and started helping him up. “Everyone has an off day once in a while. You’ll do better next time.” He then pulled Naruto close and whispered, “although I’d advise against attacking a jounin from behind with an attack that won’t immediately defeat them. Next time you might not miss.” Releasing his teammate, Negi then turned to face Ryouga, who had finally located him once he’d started talking.  
  
“Alright, your turn.” With that, Ryouga took a stance and waited. Sakura abruptly stopped fuming and turned to watch while Naruto sat down next to her. For a moment, nothing happened. Then Negi abruptly charged forward, and Ryouga’s eyes widened. _He’s fast!_ Deflecting the incoming staff, he started dodging. At that, Sakura started cheering, prompting an odd look from Naruto. _He’s got quite a bit of range with that staff._ Again, Ryouga stopped and took a blow full on. _Not much power, though. Let’s see how he does unarmed._ With a swift motion, Ryouga disarmed Negi, sending the staff flying back toward Naruto and Sakura (who caught it). “Keep going,” Ryouga said when Negi stopped to look at his staff. “I want to see how you are at unarmed combat.”  
  
"Yes, sir," Negi replied.  
  
Unfortunately, Negi proved to be as bad at taijutsu as Naruto without his weapon of choice. _Hmm… His limbs are too short. He can’t keep up with me without the staff. Looks like he needs the extra range to be able to land hits._ “Alright, we’re done with taijutsu.” As Sakura rushed forward to return Negi’s staff to him, Ryouga abruptly asked, “So, how’s your genjutsu?” He then immediately cast one on them.  
  
Of the group, only Negi had actually been able to perform genjutsu, although both he and Sakura had proven capable of breaking it. Naruto, despite knowing academically how to break genjutsu, had been unable to control his chakra well enough to do so, and when he had attempted to use a shadow clone to break him out of it, Ryouga had just placed the clone under the genjutsu as well. A few moments later, Ryouga dropped the genjutsu that still had Naruto trapped.  
  
“Alright. Next, we’ll test your shurikenjutsu.”  


0o0o0

  
The next several hours were spent following Ryouga as he led them on the most roundabout way to the target field any of the other members of Team Five had ever seen. After passing the memorial stone, the Hokage Tower, Ichiraku’s, Naruto’s bathroom, the Academy, briefly ending up in Suna, and somehow finding their way back to the training ground they started at, they entered the Hokage Tower. Naruto wondered not for the first time if Ryouga had simply forgotten where he was taking them.  
  
“So you’re taking your team on their first mission, Ryouga?” asked the Hokage, easily identifiable from his rather distinct robes and hat. Naruto’s eyes widened in surprise.  
  
“Er…” Ryouga started to reply, taking a sheepish expression. However, as his hand drifted to the back of his head, Naruto cut off whatever response he would have made with a loud outburst.  
  
“HOLY CRAP YOU’RE JIRAIYA!!!”  
  
“Yes?” Hokage Jiraiya replied, sounding confused.  
  
“Uh…” Naruto racked his brain and quickly came up with a cover story. Letting out a fake cough, he started again. “I mean, I didn’t realize that you personally handed out missions. I thought that was someone else’s job.” _Note to self: I really need to brush up on this world’s history. Who knows what else could be different?_  
  
“Well, I just like to be here to see the looks on new genins’ faces when they get their first mission,” replied Jiraiya with a knowing smirk.  
  
Naruto’s expression soured. _Yeah, I bet you do._ “Actually, Ryouga is trying to take us to the target field to test our shurikenjutsu. But he’s been leading us everywhere but there!” Naruto then turned to glare at Ryouga. He was immediately joined by Sakura. Negi, on the other hand, simply held a pained expression.  
  
Jiraiya turned a rather flat look toward Ryouga. “…I was a little surprised you actually used the door this time. Guess now I know why.”  
  
Ryouga laughed nervously in response. “…So, how about a D-Rank mission?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taijutsu – skill at hand-to-hand combat.
> 
> Kage Bunshin no Jutsu – Shadow Clone Technique: Naruto’s technique that produces solid clones. Each clone can perform ninjutsu, are autonomous, and can be dispersed manually or by taking light damage.
> 
> Shurikenjutsu – Skill with shurikens (and other throwing weapons).


	9. I am Tora, Hear Me Roar! Part I

**Chapter 9: I am Tora, Hear Me Roar! Part 1**

  
Negi and Sakura, who had not actually had the displeasure of performing D-Ranked missions before, had been less than pleased with their mission. Nevertheless, they both had the sense not to act up about it in front of the Hokage. They had Naruto for that.  
  
Naruto, on the other hand, was fully aware of what D-Rank missions entailed, having memories of performing them before. So, much to the rest of his team's surprise, he had met the mission description not with outrage, but with resigned acceptance (much to Hokage Jiraiya's disappointment). As such, it was with irritation abounds that Team Five began their first mission together: looking for a lost cat.  
  
Negi and Sakura assumed that the only reason that it ranked as a ninja mission at all was because the cat in question, Tora, belonged to the Fire Daimyo. They assumed that the mission would be simple, that the hardest part would be finding the cat. Naruto knew otherwise.  


0o0o0

  
“So, how are you planning to do this?” Ryouga asked. His inquiry was met with silence as his students contemplated the surprisingly difficult task of finding one lone cat that didn't particularly want to be found somewhere inside the massive village that was Konoha. Or rather, it would have been if one of his students wasn't a time-traveling cheater.  
  
Instead, his inquiry was immediately met with a cry of “Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!” In an instant, the whole block was filled to the brim with hundreds of shadow clones. “We'll find him!” they cried as they dashed off, brutally murdering Ryouga's plans to turn the mission into a lesson on gathering intelligence.  


0o0o0

  
Using the swarm of shadow clones, Naruto was able to locate the cat in under five minutes. This was roughly two minutes longer than it took for the team to lose track of Ryouga (who accidentally wondered off with one of Naruto's shadow clones), leaving them without the jounin's support for the mission. However, the mission seemed straightforward enough, so Team Five continued without him. Moments later, they faced their target. They then repeatedly demonstrated that they were no match for the Fire Daimyo's house cat. Every time they got near him, he bolted away at a speed that made Negi seem like an Akimichi, and whenever they managed to surround him, he would manage to somehow slip between them. And on the handful of times they actually managed to grab him, within minutes Tora would be free again while his momentary captor would be covered in scratches and bite wounds, and shadow clones couldn't keep him restrained for more than a few seconds before being dispelled. All in all, Team Five was not enjoying their first D-Rank mission.  


0o0o0

  
Meanwhile, deep within the bowels of her secret underground base, the evil witch Rita Repulsa watched the antics of Team Five via her magical crystal ball. “Oh, this is positively delicious! The red ranger and her teammates can't even capture a single house cat without their jounin! ...Hmm...” A look of concentration passed over Rita's face, only to be replaced with a wicked grin as the image of Tora appeared in the crystal ball. “I sense a great malevolence within this animal; hatred and resentment toward humans, and especially toward ninjas. Yes, this is perfect!” Raising her magical staff, she pointed the end of it toward her crystal ball. “Tora! I bestow upon you the power of the bakeneko! The monster cat of legend!” A blast of magical power traveled from her wand to her crystal ball, and immediately, the form of Tora began to shift within it. “NOW GO! AND DESTROY KONOHA!”  


0o0o0

  
After buying “Tora Gloves” from a nearby store at Negi's suggestion (apparently, Tora escaped often enough and was enough of a problem to catch that shopkeepers started marketing thick work gloves to new genin teams as being “Tora Gloves”), Team Five set a trap for the horrible cat. Naruto planted a few henged shadow clones around a nearby park. The team then did what they could to herd Tora into it. Fortunately, they were successful, and the cat entered the park.  
  
Keeping their distance, the group watched as Tora made his way into a sandbox, looked straight at them, then crouched. At which point the sandbox abruptly exploded into a puff of smoke. Immediately, three Narutos jumped out, clutching the startled cat. “Bad kitty! Sand boxes aren't your litter box!” With one Naruto restraining the cat's forelegs, another restraining his hind legs, and the third clutching the struggling cat himself, they made their way back to the group. “We got 'im, boss!”  
  
As if on cue, Tora managed to bite the wrist of one of the clone restraining his forelegs behind its gloves, immediately causing it to dispel.  
  
“Oh crap! Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!” As the cat started to dispel the clones that were holding it, dozens more appeared from thin air and dog-piled onto the cat. This was immediately followed by several bursts of smoke. Suddenly, there was a flash of light.  
  
 _Huh?_ , thought every member of Team Five but Ryouga (who, incidentally, was wondering when Konoha had gotten so much snow). As the smoke cleared, it revealed Tora, who was now twice as big as before and rapidly expanding. The rogue house cat's brown fur darkened until it was black as ink, its claws extended until they were the size of butcher knives, and a dark mist seemed to rise around it.  
  
 _Oh crap_ , thought Sakura, recognizing the signs of Rita's magic at work.  
  
 _Okay, I think I see why this is a ninja mission now_ , thought Negi.  
  
 _Oh crap_ , thought Naruto, recognizing that Tora was now big enough to eat him.  
  
Within moments, Tora reached the size of a small house. Team Five stared in silence, then traded unsure looks with each other, not quite sure how to proceed. The gargantuan cat turned toward them and growled.  
  
“RUN!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kage Bunshin no Jutsu – Shadow Clone Technique: A ninjutsu technique that creates solid clones. The clones are dispelled automatically after taking light damage. When a shadow clone dispels, its creator immediately receives all of the memories it acquired during its existence.
> 
> Bakeneko – Monster Cat: Bakeneko is a combination of the words bakemono, meaning ghost or monster, and neko, meaning cat. It is said that if a cat lives in one place for thirteen years and reaches more than eight pounds in weight, a cat can become a bakeneko, monstrously large cats that feed on humans, then impersonate them and commit identity theft while they eat their neighbors, commit arson, and generally live as horrible people until the truth about them is discovered.


	10. I am Tora, Hear Me Roar! Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tora the monster cat demonstrates hunger, Naruto and Negi demonstrate fear, and Sakura demonstrates how to do a friendship speech.

**Chapter 10: I am Tora, Hear Me Roar! Part 2**

  
Absently, Ryouga wondered how his team was performing on their first D-Rank mission. He wasn't particularly worried about them, since D-Ranks weren't exactly known for being dangerous. After all, they were essentially the jobs that needed to be done that people were willing to pay money to have done by someone other than themselves. Nevertheless, he felt he should probably check up on them. After all, D-Rank or not, Tora could be a bit of a handful for new genin. He should at least make sure they didn't kill the cat. He began running through the handseals for Hiraishin no Jutsu.  


0o0o0

  
It had fur black as ash. It had claws like knives and teeth like daggers. It was the size of a house. It was once a housecat named Tora. And it was looking at them like it used to look at mice and birds.  
  
“RUN!”  
  
In hindsight, none of the members of Team Five were sure who had been the one to say it, but all of them had wholeheartedly supported the notion, and so all of them took off like bats out of Hell with Hell's owls hot on their trails. Much like how the monster that had once been Tora was currently on their trail.  
  
 _ **Heh. What's the matter, afraid of a little pussy?**_  
  
 _It might be little for you, but I'm not a gigantic fox! Also, this really isn't the time for this!_ thought Naruto, trying to ignore the Kyuubi's jibe. And failing, as he realized the double entendre. _Wait, did you just insinuate that I'm g-_ Abruptly, Naruto's thoughts cut off as he refocused on reality. Unfortunately, the reason for that was because he tripped. In an instant, the old proverb about merely needing to outrun one's friend to avoid the bear proved true. Much to Naruto's horror, as Tora-monster hooked the back of his jacket with its claws as he was getting back up.  
  
“AAAAAUUUUGH! KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!” As the monstrously oversized cat started to drag Naruto back to it, he created a few dozen shadow clones. A quick replacement technique later, Naruto had swapped with one of the clones and was well on his way to escaping in the chaos created by the panicked mob of clones while the bakeneko wasted time attacking the numerous clones, allowing Team Five to finish its escape. Or rather, that is how things would have gone if Negi had not attempted to recue Naruto.  
  
Instead, just as Naruto replaced himself with a shadow clone, a pair of lightning bolts hit Tora in the face. Naruto looked up to see Negi standing a few dozen meters away, staff still extended from whatever jutsu he had just used. From the look on his face, he clearly hadn't considered the potential consequences of his attack before making it, and was only now realizing what was about to happen.  
  
Tora abruptly shifted targets and began plowing through Naruto's shadow clone mob as it charged straight toward Negi. Screaming, Negi took off. So did Tora. And so did Naruto and his remaining clones. As he ran after the giant cat and his younger teammate, Naruto noted that Sakura seemed to have vanished.  


0o0o0

  
When Ryouga appeared in a run-down apartment with a suspiciously familiar layout, he performed the Hiraishin no Jutsu a second time to make sure that he hadn't accidentally ended up in his own apartment. But no. Apparently, Naruto just lived in an apartment with a suspiciously similar floorplan to his own. _Actually,_ he thought, as he looked out the window, _it looks like Naruto and I live in the same apartment complex. Huh. Note to self - Never tell Jiraiya this._ After a moment, he began running through the handseals for the Hiraishin no Jutsu once again. _In hindsight, I probably should have told them to keep those kunai with them instead of just not to lose them. Oh well. Let's see if Sakura has her kunai with her._  


0o0o0

  
Having given the giant cat and the rest of her team the slip, Sakura pulled out her communicator and promptly started screaming into it. “ZORDON! CONTACT THE OTHER RANGERS! RITA MADE A HOUSE CAT GROW INTO A MONSTER CAT THE SIZE OF A HOUSE, AND IT'S TRYING TO EAT MY TEAMMATES!” Not waiting for a response, Sakura pulled out her morpher. “TYRANNOSAURUS!”  


0o0o0

  
When the group started running, Negi easily outpaced his teammates. Being the only one with magically enhanced speed, that wasn't that surprising. Glancing back, he noted that Sakura had also eluded the giant cat. _That's strange. I didn't think any of us would actually be able to outrun Tora. Why hasn't he caught us yet?_  
  
“AAAAAUUUUGH! KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!”  
  
 _Because he stopped to eat Naruto. Of course._  
  
Turning, Negi pointed his staff at the bakeneko. Said giant cat had apparently managed to pick the real Naruto out of the group, judging by the rips on his clothing that weren't present on the clones that failed to dispel the Naruto that the cat had captured. _Sagitta Magica, Series Fulgoris!_ he thought, firing two magical arrows of lightning at the rampaging giant cat.  
  
Abruptly, the Naruto in Tora's grasp was replaced with one that didn't have shredded clothing. But at this point, it was too late to do anything about the magic arrows he'd just fired other than watch as they nailed Tora in the face. Suddenly, the monster-cat forgot all about Naruto, its attention now focused on Negi.  
  
 _Uh... Maybe that wasn't the best idea._  
  
Negi ran, as his life depended on it. Nevertheless, the gigantic feline quickly gained on him. Fortunately, Negi maintained enough sense to scan the area for potential escape routes as he ran. _There! If I can just make it to that patch of trees, Tora won't be able to follow me. He's too big to fit between them._ “Bunshin no Jutsu!” he yelled.  
  
In an instant, six more Negi's popped into existance. They then charged in seven different directions. Tora immediately went after the one that was nearest to it, but that turned out to be an illusion. As the monster cat looked at the rest of them, the remaining five clones vanished, leaving only the original Negi.  
  
However, that momentary distraction proved sufficient for Negi to make his way to the trees. Turning, Negi watched as Tora began charging him again. Nerviously, he took a few steps back, then turned and resumed running. With a loud crash, Tora slammed into the trees in an attempt to simply plow through them. But the trees held, and Negi was no longer close enough to reach by extending a foreleg between the trees.  
  
Realizing that the thudding footsteps of the giant cat seemed to be growing quieter, Negi turned to see Tora going after Naruto again. Immediately, he pointed his staff at the cat. _Sagitta Magica: Aer Capturae!_ Two arrows of wind streaked toward Tora, entangling its legs as they passed. Abruptly, the monster cat tripped. _Alright, think. How do I stop this thing without exposing magic or killing it? Hmm... Maybe I can pass Nebula Hypnotica off as sleeping gas._  
  
However, before Negi had time to do anything, a crimson blur caught his eye.  


0o0o0

  
Ryouga ran through the handseals for the Hiraishin no Jutsu for the fourth time that day, doing his best to ignore the screaming, panicking housewife that was attacking him with a broom. He guessed that she was Sakura's mother, but he couldn't get her to stop attacking him for long enough to get an answer out of her, so he decided to just leave. As he completed the final seal, he vanished, leaving the confused woman alone.  


0o0o0

  
As the monster-cat turned to face him, Naruto quickly decided that running after it without a plan had not been one of his better ideas. Fortunately, something entangled the cat's legs just as it started to charge them. “Uh... everyone scatter?” suggested one of his clones. It was a suggestion that most of them agreed with. However, before they actually had time to get away, a red and white blur impacted Tora's side, actually managing to roll the gargantuan cat onto its back. As the form landed, it resolved itself into ...a woman in a bright red and white costume wearing a red motorcycle helmet? However, before Naruto could thank his rescuer (or question her fashion sense), Tora shredded whatever it was that had been entangling his legs and rose to his feet. Suddenly, talking to the red clad ninja seemed significantly less important.  
  
Then, demonstrating suicidal overconfidence, the red-clad rescuer charged the giant cat. For a moment, Naruto stood in place, absolutely dumbstruck. Fortunately, the cat seemed too focused on its attacker to take advantage of his state (although even if it hadn't been, the numerous clones mirroring Naruto's actions would have provided excellent camouflage). Jumping, the crimson idiot pulled a strange weapon from her hip, then fired some sort of glowing projectile at the cat. Unfortunately, this seemed to just piss it off, and the cat promptly smacked her out of the air.  
  
“Naruto!” The shouted whisper caught Naruto's attention, drawing him back to reality. Turning, he saw Negi motioning toward him frantically by several trees. After joining his teammate in the safety of the area behind the trees and dispelling his numerous shadow clones, Naruto turned back to watch the fight. “Who is that?” he wondered out loud.  
  
“That's the Red Ranger! She's going to save us!” As Negi spoke, the Red Ranger rolled back to her feet, drawing a sword from somewhere and charging the cat.  
  
“...” Naruto decided not to comment that it looked more like she was going to die trying as Tora casually batted her aside.  


0o0o0

  
Once again, Ryouga found himself in a oddly familiar apartment. Unlike before, however, it was easy to tell this one wasn't his. It was much cleaner. A quick glance outside verified that yes, this one was also in the same apartment complex as his own apartment. Huh. That's a weird coincidence. Deciding to contemplate it later, Ryouga once again began the long sequence of seals for the Hiraishin no Jutsu.  


0o0o0

  
Haruno Sakura, the Red Ranger, was getting her ass kicked. She knew it, Tora knew it, and Naruto knew it. Negi, on the other hand, was entirely confident that she would somehow pull out a victory.  
  
However, while she **was** getting her ass kicked, she was getting her ass kicked slowly. None of Tora's attacks were resulting in anything more than sprays of sparks and dark marks on her costume, although she was pretty sure she was getting bruised underneath it. Where Naruto and Negi would have been ripped apart, she was getting relatively minor injuries.  
  
“Damn it! Why aren't you dying?” asked the monster cat. For a long moment, silence spread throughout the park.  
  
“You can talk?” asked Naruto. The cat just looked at him, then turned back to the Red Ranger. “Why didn't you say anything before?” he shouted, irritated that Tora was apparently ignoring him.  
  
“Do you make a habit of talking to your food?” Tora growled, before turning back to the Red Ranger. “Anyways, I asked you a question,” it snarled.  
  
“My outfit is as impenetrable as my will is unbreakable!” shouted Sakura. “It'll take more than the likes of you to kill me!”  
  
“We'll see about that.” Suddenly, the cat pounced, tackling the Red Ranger to the ground and pinning her sword arm with one of its forelegs. It then began clawing at her with its back claws, attempting to rip through her costume. Whatever cry of pain Sakura may or may not have made was drowned out by the sounds of the numerous miniature explosions of sparks that were produced with every slash.  
  
Then Tora abruptly jumped back, holding one paw above the ground, blood dripping from a deep cut in its leg. The Red Ranger sat up, now covered in numerous dark marks. In her off hand, she held a second, shorter blade. The blade in question looked suspiciously similar to the projectile weapon she had used earlier, but where the projectile weapon looked like a crossbow without the bow, this one was clearly a blade.  
  
Raising to her feet, the Red Ranger brandished both swords toward the monster cat. “You want to try that again?” she asked, doing her best to look intimidating. _Crap. He almost took me out there. If he had bothered to pin both my arms, I would have been a goner. I need to stall until the other rangers get here._  
  
Much to Sakura's chagrin, the cat slowly lowered its injured leg toward the ground, then took a tentative step forward. _Ack! Plan A: Intimidate the Monster failed! Time for Plan B!_ Unfortunately, there was no Plan B, so Sakura just went with her instincts.  
  
“You poor creature. Having never known the gift of friendship.” Apparently, her instincts said to start a friendship speech. _Note to self – If I survive the next few minutes, get new instincts._  


0o0o0

  
Naruto facepalmed. He couldn't help it. _There she is, making a decent showing as a combatant, then she tries to threaten Tora. And when he isn't intimidated, she tries a friendship speech. That form is absolutely terrible. You can't just use a friendship speech when you're about to lose! You have to beat it into them! Make the friendship speech part of the threat! Using it to try to make your enemy not kill you doesn't work!_  
  
While Naruto silently judged the Red Ranger's friendship speech abilities, Negi watched intently. As far as he knew, Naruto had never watched the Power Rangers closely before, but he had. Negi knew what came next. Whenever all hope seemed lost...  


0o0o0

  
“You're stalling,” said Tora. “You just don't want me to eat you.”  
  
“No, it's true!” said Sakura, deciding to just go with it. “Friendship is great! And with it comes power you wouldn't expect!” _I can't believe I'm doing this,_ thought Sakura. “Friendship is always knowing that deep down, you're never alone!”  
  
Suddenly, a black and white form flipped over the giant cat, landing next to Sakura. “Always having someone to back you up when the chips are down!” added the Black Ranger.  
  
A white and yellow figure landed on Sakura's other side. “Having someone to help keep your aim true,” added the Yellow Ranger.  
  
A blue and white figure landed slightly behind Sakura and the Black Ranger. “Having someone to push you to victory when you can't make it there on your own!” chimed in the Blue Ranger.  
  
A pink and white figure landed between Sakura and the Yellow Ranger. “Curbstomping our enemies five to one, then blowing them up with our power blaster!” shouted the Pink Ranger.  
  
“THAT'S THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!” shouted all five Power Rangers in unison as they took poses. Behind them, five multicolored explosions went off.  
  
After a moment of stunned silence, Tora said a bad word.  


0o0o0

  
Negi couldn't help it. He squee'd **.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiraishin no Jutsu – Flying Thunder God Technique: The signature technique of Namikaze Minato, the Fourth Hokage. It allows one to teleport to any location possessing a certain seal. Originally, the technique was lost with the Yondaime's death, with the exception of an inferior version taught to his bodyguards. However, with the help of the Godaime Hokage, Ryouga was able to recreate the technique. Unfortunately, Ryouga's version takes seventy-eight handseals to perform, making it useless in combat.
> 
> Kage Bunshin no Jutsu – Shadow Clone Technique: Naruto's signature technique that creates solid, autonomous clones. These clones can use ninjutsu and transfer all the memories they accumulate back to their hosts upon being dispelled. Unfortunately, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu requires far too much chakra for most ninjas to use.
> 
> Bunshin no Jutsu – Clone Technique: One of the three basic jutsus taught at the Ninja Academy, Bunshin no Jutsu creates an illusionary clone of the user. Unlike Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, the clones creates using Bunshin no Jutsu are not autonomous. They are merely illusions created by the user of the technique. However, Bunshin no Jutsu requires very little chakra to use, to the extent that every genin is expected to be capable of using it.
> 
> Sagitta Magica, Series Fulgoris – Magic Arrow, Lightning Series: A magic arrow made of electricity. Each arrow is homing and can stun the target upon impact. This technique, like all of the Sagitta Magica series, can be scaled up indefinitely, creating more and more arrows. However, this is difficult to do without using the chant.
> 
> Sagitta Magica, Aer Capturae – Magic Arrow, Binding Wind: A magic arrow that binds the opponent. Like all Sagitta Magica series attacks, Aer Capturae is homing and can be scaled up indefinitely. Unlike the others, however, it does not deal damage directly. Instead, it only binds its opponent.
> 
> Nebula Hypnotica – Mist of Sleep: Nebula Hypnotica creates sleep inducing mist. Despite the similarities, it is not a genjutsu, and cannot be dispelled like one.


	11. I am Tora, Hear Me Roar! Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Power Rangers decapitate the Fire Daimyo's cat.

**Chapter 11: I am Tora, Hear Me Roar Part 3**

  
As the Power Rangers finished their impromptu posing, they prepared to do battle with the gigantic cat that was Tora. “So, does it have any special powers, or is it just a big cat?” asked the Blue Ranger.  
  
“I think it's just a big cat,” replied the Red Ranger. “But there's something you need to know. It's not one of Rita's normal monsters. It's a house cat that she made grow with her magic.”  
  
“What?” interjected the Yellow Ranger. “That can't be right. If it isn't one of her monsters, how is it talking?”  
  
“I don't know,” the Red Ranger replied. “But we can't just kill it. We need to find a way to capture it and change it back.”  
  
“Why?” asked the Pink Ranger. “It's just a cat. I mean, it would be one thing if we had a way to change it back, but we don't, and as it is, it's a threat to Konoha. Plus, it's a cat.”  
  
“It's not just any cat! It belongs to the Fire Daimyo!” Sakura shouted.  
  
The Yellow and Black Rangers bristled. “That's Tora?” asked the Yellow Ranger.  
  
“...Okay, I'm with Pinkie here. Let's kill it!” said the Black Ranger.  
  
“Don't call me Pinkie!” snarled the Pink Ranger.  
  
“Agreed. The world is better off without him,” added the Yellow Ranger.  
  
“Wait, what?” asked the Blue Ranger.  
  
“That thing is a menace to society,” commented the Black Ranger.  
  
“Er...” said the Pink Ranger, feeling slightly guilty for starting this trend, but not actually wanting to voice a complaint.  
  
“Uh, guys...” said the Blue Ranger.  
  
“It's just an innocent house cat, guys,” insisted the Red Ranger.  
  
“THAT THING IS A MONSTER MADE FLESH!” yelled the Black Ranger.  
  
“But that's Rita's fault,” said the Red Ranger.  
  
“NO IT ISN'T!” shouted the Black Ranger.  
  
“Guys...” repeated the Blue Ranger.  
  
“Tora runs away on a daily basis, steals food, poops everywhere it can, and regularly mauls genin and civilians. It hates people, and it hates its life as a pet of the Fire Daimyo's wife,” said the Yellow Ranger. As she spoke, she gradually got louder and louder. For some reason, it was getting harder to hear herself speak.  
  
“That doesn't mean we can just-” said the Red Ranger.  
  
“GUYS!” shouted the Blue Ranger.  
  
“WHAT!?” yelled the other Rangers. However, before he could answer, a loud crash drew their attention to the trees that Naruto and Negi were hiding behind.  
  
“That innocent house cat is trying to eat Sakura's Team,” the Blue Ranger flatly replied.  
  
Sure enough, while the Power Rangers were arguing, Tora had turned around and rammed the trees that had been keeping Negi and Naruto out of its reach. Fortunately, the two were far enough back that it still couldn't reach them by clawing between the trees with its forelegs. Although that didn't stop it from trying.  
  
“...Okay, let's kill the damn thing,” said the Red Ranger. With their course of action decided, the Power Rangers attacked Tora.  


0o0o0

  
Naruto was screaming. Not in the “I'm so excited I just can't keep it inside,” way like Negi had been only a few moments earlier. More like the “Oh crap I'm going to die in a horrifically painful manner” way that he'd heard all too many times in his previous lifetime.  
  
Tora had decided that the Power Rangers were busy and had turned its attention to him and his teammate. The monster-cat then started charging them. Naruto felt Negi pulling the back of his coat and obligingly stepped back.  
  
CRASH!  
  
Tora slammed into the trees, which once again held him at bay. Immediately, he began clawing at them from behind the trees, but they were just a little too far back for the cat to reach. As the cat tried futilely to reach them, Naruto's screaming died down. And then the cat started digging at the roots of the trees.  
  
 _Screw this. Sakura had the right idea. We need to get out of here._ Grabbing Negi, Naruto turned to run. However, he once again felt Negi pulling on the back of his coat.  
  
“What are you doing? We need to go!” Naruto practically shouted to his younger teammate. _Wait, how did I know that?_ His only answer was the kyuubi snickering.  
  
“Wait! Look!” As he spoke, Negi pointed at the cat, which was still digging. Suddenly, the cat was dragged backwards. Just as abruptly, it was forcibly lifted upwards, briefly revealing five costumed figures clutching its hind legs, before concealing them once again as it was slammed back down.  
  
“Bad kitty. No eating genin,” said the Pink Ranger.  


0o0o0

  
Inside the mission office, Ryouga abruptly appeared.  
  
“So, how did the mission go?” asked Jiraiya, an amused look on his face. Only for his amusement to abruptly vanish. “Wait. Ryouga, where's the rest of your team?”  
  
“Er...” replied Ryouga. “I take it they haven't come by here, then?”  
  
“...Dammit, Ryouga,” grumbled the Hokage, as he rose from his seat behind the mission assignment desk. “Follow me. I'll see if I can't find them in my crystal ball.” Creating a single shadow clone to man the desk while he was gone, Jiraiya began heading up to his office.  


0o0o0

  
Tora the monstrously huge feline found himself in a very different situation now that the Power Rangers had stopped arguing long enough to fight it. Whereas before he had been able to overwhelm or outfight everyone he came across (which was an admittedly small selection of opponents), with the addition of four uninjured Power Rangers, he quickly found himself on the defensive. When he went after one, the other four attacked him. When he tried to run, the group would surround him. When he tried to force his way through, the nearest ranger would attack with their weapon while the others took pot shots at him with their blade blasters. And while one blade blaster was an annoyance, four at once were dangerous.  
  
“Dammit!” snarled the cat. “If I can't win, I'll take at least one of you with me!” Turning, he crouched, preparing to lunge at the injured Red Ranger. Which was as far as he got before he was violently interrupted.  
  
“Power Axe!” shouted the Black Ranger, driving her weapon into Tora's left hind leg.  
  
“Ack!” yelped Tora, aborting his attempted pounce. Unfortunately, the Black Ranger's attacked seemed to signal the other rangers. Before the Black Ranger had even recovered from her swing, the other rangers joined in.  
  
“Power Bow!” shouted the Pink Ranger, loosing an arrow into Tora's right hind leg.  
  
“Power Daggers!” cried the Yellow Ranger, throwing both of her daggers into Tora's eyes.  
  
“Power Lance!” yelled the Blue Ranger, as he swept the now blind-Tora's forelegs out from under him with a single sweep of his lance.  
  
“Power Sword!” And as the sword in question found its way through his neck, Tora knew no more.  


0o0o0

  
“This isn't over yet,” said Rita from inside her underground base, where she had been watching the battle via her crystal ball. “MAGIC WAND,” she cried, raising her magical staff above her head. “MAKE TORA GROW!” With a crash, she slammed it into her crystal ball. Immediately, the crystal ball showed the decapitated cat's head reattaching itself. The power daggers were ejected from his eyes, and his wounds began closing. A moment later, he began to rapidly expand.  


0o0o0

  
As the monster-cat revived and began to grow, the rangers lunged at him. “Oh no you don't!” they cried, simultaneously lashing out.  
  
Before the now airborne cat had time to land, the Power Rangers simultaneously threw their hands into the air.  
  
“We need Dina-Zord power, now!”  


0o0o0

  
“There they are,” said Jiraiya. “Looks like they're in the park near the Ninja Academy watching the Power Rangers fighting outside the village. Alright, follow me.”  


0o0o0

  
Tora suddenly found himself reawakening. However, before he had time to recover from the shock of suddenly not being dead, he found himself being launched from the village via five synchronized uppercuts. Strangely, the individual strikes hurt significantly less than he expected them to. Soon enough, he found himself landing outside the village. Which looked much smaller than he remembered it being.  
  
Before he could make sense of his situation, he found himself confronted by five dinosaur shaped robots (well, two dinosaur shaped robots, two prehistoric mammal shaped robots, and some sort of bird robot). The five robots quickly formed themselves into some sort of assault vehicle. And promptly started shooting him.  
  
Yowling, Tora decided that this wasn't worth his trouble. Turning, he started to run.  
  
 **NO! FIGHT! DESTROY KONOHA! DESTROY THE POWER RANGERS!**  
  
For a moment, Tora felt himself being compelled to fight to what would likely be his death against the little vehicle that made him hurt in a manner far too similar to the barrage of blade blasters for his liking. However, his self preservation had kept him alive for almost a decade when his owner had the unfortunate habit of squeezing him so tightly he could feel his bones crack. It had lead to him learning how to regularly escape teams of genin. It had helped him survive against genin teams consisting entirely of Inuzuka's. And it was currently telling him that if he fought, he would die. So, in utter defiance of the voice in his head that demanded that he stay, fight, and try to destroy his home of nearly a decade, Tora turned tail and ran.  
  
Consequently, he missed the vehicle transforming into a giant mecha.  


0o0o0

  
“NOOOO!” shouted Rita Repulsa. “GO BACK! FIGHT THEM!” However, Tora refused to listen. Rita screamed in frustration as Tora did what he was best known for: running away.  


0o0o0

  
As the Power Rangers' zords completed the transformation from Megazord Tank-Mode into Megazord Battle-Mode, the Power Rangers were treated to the sight of the monster that was once Tora fleeing into the distance.  
  
“...Does this mean we win?”  


0o0o0

  
From within Konoha, Negi and Naruto watched as the monster that was once Tora ran. “So, I guess we failed our first D-Rank,” said Negi.  
  
Before Naruto could answer, the bushes behind them parted, revealing their jounin instructor and the Hokage. “Ah, there you are. So, how did the mission go?”  
  
After a moment, Naruto said a bad word, resulting in an amused grin from Jiraiya.  
  
"...Hey. Where's Sakura?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blade Blaster: The standard red and gray transforming guns possessed by every member of the Power Rangers. They can be used as guns, or as short swords.
> 
> Megazord Tank-Mode: Exactly what it sounds like – the Megazord in a tank-like configuration. In Tank-Mode, the Megazord is faster and is capable of firing a variety of weapons at enemies. When the zords come together to form the Megazord, they come together in Tank-Mode. As such, the Megazord must cycle through Tank-Mode in order to form Battle-Mode.
> 
> Megazord Battle-Mode: The humanoid robot mode that the Megazord appears most often in. In Battle-Mode, the Megazord is more maneuverable than in tank mode, making it more useful against monsters than Tank-Mode. In addition to this, Battle-Mode allows the Megazord to use its most powerful weapon, the Mega Power Sword, which cannot be accessed in Tank-Mode.
> 
> Genin – The lowest ranking a ninja can have in Konoha and most other hidden villages in the Elemental Nations.
> 
> Jounin – The highest ranking a ninja can have short of the Kage in Konoha and most other hidden villages in the Elemental Nations.


	12. The Hokage Doesn't Believe Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto, Sakura, and Negi attempt to explain how they failed a D-Rank mission in a way that doesn't make them all sound incredibly incompetent or insane.

**Chapter 12: The Hokage Doesn't Believe Them**

  
“So, let me get this straight,” Jiraiya finally managed to get out between snickers. “You're saying,” snerk, “that not only did you fail to catch Tora, but you somehow turned him into a giant monster,” which was as far as he got before he broke out into laughter, much to Naruto and Negi's chagrin. A few moments later, he tried again. “You somehow turned the Fire Daimyo's cat into a giant monster that the Power Rangers had to drive off. And you expect me to believe this?”  
  
At the irritated glare from Naruto and the pleading look from Negi, Jiraiya burst out into laughter once again. “...Man, you brats sure can tell stories,” he said, after taking a moment to recover. “I haven't heard anything that outlandish since the last time I went drinking with your instructor.” Ignoring the glare that got from Ryouga, he clapped his hands on Naruto and Negi's shoulders. “Tell you what. As a reward for giving me the best laugh I've had in weeks, I'll treat you all to ramen at Ichiraku's. You guys go ahead, I'll track down your missing teammate and meet you there.” This prompted an odd look from Ryouga, but Jiraiya preempted any question he might have asked with a pointed look. “And Ryouga? Try to keep track of them this time.”  
  
Once again, Jiraiya ignored Ryouga's glare. He smirked as the rest of the group wandered off.  


0o0o0

  
“Alright, they're gone,” said Jiraiya. “You can come out now, Sakura.”  
  
There was a yelp of surprise, then Sakura began climbing down from a tree. _Damn. And here I thought I'd avoided being noticed. Figures I wouldn't be able to fool the Hokage._  
  
“So, was that thing you and the other Power Rangers were fighting really Tora?” asked the aforementioned Hokage.  
  
“What? How do you know-” Sakura started to ask, but Jiraiya cut her off.  
  
“I like to keep track of what's going on in my village. Who's doing what and so on,” said Jiraiya with a shrug. Smirking, he then asked, “Did you really think I'd let a group of costumed vigilantes run around my village if I didn't know who they were?”  
  
“...” Sakura had no response that she felt was appropriate to say to the Hokage. Inner Sakura, however, was swearing like a sailor.  
  
“Well...?” asked Jiraiya.  
  
“What? Oh, you mean Tora. Yeah, that was him,” Sakura said neutrally. Jiraiya swore. “...Er, is that bad?”  
  
“If Rita can turn animals into monsters, she can probably do the same with people. And if she can do the same with people, she can probably do the same with ninjas.”  
  
Deciding not to ask how Jiraiya knew about Rita, Sakura simply replied “Oh...” _Wait._ “But Tora didn't seem to be completely under her control. He ran away from the Megazord.”  
  
“After he tried to eat my godson and his teammate,” countered Jiraiya.  
  
“But Tora basically hates ninjas, right? So he probably would have done that even if she wasn't controlling him. Ninjas probably wouldn't agree to attack us.”  
  
“Konoha ninjas wouldn't attack us,” Jiraiya replied flatly. Once again, Sakura found herself unable to think of an appropriate response. “Come on, kid. Your team's waiting for us.” Turning, the Hokage began heading toward his favorite noodle stand.  
  
Quietly, Sakura followed him. _I need to talk to Zordon and the other Power Rangers about this._  


0o0o0

  
“And then they were like 'cause that's the power of friendship'! And they all posed, and there were explosions behind them, and it was so cool!” As three-fourths of Team Five walked toward Ichiraku Ramen, Negi recounted a more detailed (and Power Ranger centric) version of the story to Ryouga, who seemed to be at least faking paying attention. Naruto, on the other hand, didn't bother, instead moping as he wandered toward his favorite noodle stand. _I can't believe we failed a D-Rank._  
  
 _When I decided to come back in time, it was to fix everything. I wasn't going to let Sasuke go evil, I was going to keep Sakura and Kakashi from dying, I wasn't going to ignore Hinata until she hooked up with Ino, and I was going to become Hokage. But nothing's gone right! Sasuke isn't even here (and probably died in the Uchiha Massacre), Kakashi isn't our team jounin, Sakura actually left me and Negi to die back there, the jounin our team ended up with can't manage to keep track of us and keeps getting lost-_ In a sudden moment of panic, Naruto spun around. Fortunately, Negi seemed to be doing a decent job of keeping Ryouga with the group for the time being. _Oh thank kami. ...What was I thinking about again?_  
  
 ** _You were thinking about how excited you were that Jiriaya is treating you to ramen,_** replied the Kyuubi, sounding annoyed.  
  
 _Oh yeah! Anyways, isn't it great that Jiraiya's alive again? I missed him so much after he died. And he's even treating me to ramen! It's been so long since the last time anyone did that. And its even at Ichiraku's, this time! I love their ramen, especially their Miso! That's one of my five favorite kinds of ramen! Hey Kyuubi, do you like ramen? What's your favorite kind? Is it miso? It's miso ramen, isn't it?_  
  
 ** _Oh Juubi, what have I done?_**  


0o0o0

  
Surprisingly, Jiraiya managed to beat them to Ichiraku Ramen with Sakura in tow and had already placed his order. “You look hungry. I guess it takes a lot of work to fail a D-Rank mission, huh?” greeted Jiraiya as the rest of Team Five entered the noodle stand, prompting Sakura to glare at him. “Don't get your panties in a bunch. Lots of new teams fail their first-” Jiraiya abruptly broke out laughing. “Oh man. Sorry, I just couldn't say it with a straight face. Man, you guys suck so bad! Naruto, I am totally going to hang this over your head for the rest of your life! You failed a D-Rank!” By this point, all of Team Five was glaring at him, but Jiraiya was too busy laughing his ass off to care.  


0o0o0

  
Aside from the arrival at Ichiraku's, Naruto enjoyed his meal. Everyone had been getting along fairly well, although Negi wouldn't shut up about how excited he was to see the Power Rangers in action. Sakura apologized to him and Negi for leaving them behind when the monster showed up, although much to their disappointment, she had apparently not seen where it came from, which prompted another laugh from Jiraiya. Ryouga told them about his trip to each of their houses and asked that they keep the special kunai he gave them on their person during missions, and Jiraiya shared Naruto and Negi's version of the Tora hunt with Teuchi, adding his own less-than-supportive commentary to the story.  
  
When everyone finished eating, true to his word, Jiraiya paid for the meal. Which was a good thing since Naruto had been unable to figure out where this version of him had been keeping his money outside of what he'd had in his wallet prior to his arrival. Possession. Overwriting. ...The thing that happened that put this Naruto in that Naruto's body. _Come to think of it, what exactly happened to the version of me that was here before me?_ For a moment, Naruto could have sworn he heard snickering, but looking around, he didn't see any source for it. _Kyuubi, was that you?_  
  
 ** _No,_** replied the Kyuubi, despite sounding moderately amused.  
  
 _Huh. Oh well, it's probably not important._ Naruto paused as Ryouga began running through handseals. _Wait, what's going on?_ However, before Naruto could ask, Jiraiya began running through the same sequence. _Uh... Is this something I should already know about? ...If I ask and it's something that the other me should know about, they might catch onto me. I'll just stay and watch for now._  
  
Fifty-something handseals later, Naruto began to wonder if they were just screwing with him. _If the me in this world was anything like me, then he'd probably be trying to learn any jutsu he could. I don't know Ryouga that well, but randomly running through handseals to see how long it takes me to get bored seems like something Jiraiya would do._ Deciding that he'd had enough, Naruto began walking home. Consequently, he missed his instructor and the Hokage vanishing twenty handseals later.  


0o0o0

  
On his way home, Naruto noticed once again that Konoha's layout wasn't quite how he remembered it. It was close enough that Naruto could still find his way around, but off enough to make him somewhat uncomfortable. _And it's not just the town. Some people seem to be missing, I'm not getting as many glares as I remember, some events seem to have gone differently, and some people seem to have different abilities than they did before. It looks like nobody knew me well enough to question my abilities and personality, or that this world's me had the same abilities and personality as me, but if I'm going to continue to pass myself off as this world's Naruto, I should probably find out as much about this world as possible. ...Yes! Starting tomorrow, I'm going to gather as much intelligence on this world as I possibly can!_ His goal set, Naruto opened the door to his apartment and stepped inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jounin – the highest rank a ninja can have short of being the kage in most of the hidden villages in the elemental nations.
> 
> Juubi – the ten-tailed beast that preceded the tailed beasts. It was originally defeated by the Sage of the Six Paths, who split its spirit into nine pieces, which became the tailed beasts. Its corpse is supposedly hidden within the moon.


	13. Orange Ninja Needs Intelligence Badly I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto decides to use shadow clones to gather intelligence on this new world. Hundreds of them, all at once. This can only turn out badly.

**Chapter 13: Orange Ninja Needs Intelligence Badly Part I**

  
As Naruto arrived at the shuriken practice field the following day (early again, but it was definitely not just because he wanted to impress Sakura), he noticed that this time, Ryouga was not already camped there waiting for him. _...Oh hell. Looks like he didn't manage to find the place last night. Which means we're probably going to be waiting for him all day. Damn it!_ Kicking the ground in frustration, Naruto leaned against a nearby tree.  
  
 _Well so much for my plan to gather intelligence after today's training (and maybe mission). In all likelihood, I'm going to be stuck here all day._ In his frustration, Naruto failed to notice a wooden plate with a certain symbol engraved on it nailed to the side of the tree he was leaning against, although even if he had, he wouldn't have known what it was. For a while, Naruto considered simply leaving, but he decided against that. If he left, Sakura would think he was late to their training (not that her opinion was an important factor in this decision or anything). Also, Ryouga probably wouldn't be too happy if he arrived and found one of his students ditching on the second day of training under him. So Naruto decided to bear with his frustration and wait it out.  
  
However, after a few minutes, he got bored. _Dammit, it's times like this that make me wish I could be in two places at once. Well, if I can't avoid waiting, I might as well train while I wait._ Turning around to face the tree he'd been leaning against, Naruto backed up a few steps and withdrew a kunai from the pouch strapped to his leg. He then charged up the side of the tree. This time he made it almost halfway up the tree before losing control over his chakra. Leaning forward as far as he could, Naruto slashed the tree with his kunai. And then his grip on the tree failed, and he fell to the ground, landing on his head.  
  
“OW! That hurt!” Clutching his head in pain, Naruto began to climb back to his feet. However, throbbing pain abruptly gave way to a flash of insight. _...Wait a second! Of course! I CAN be in two places at once!_ Jumping to his feet, Naruto threw his hands together, forming his most commonly used handseal. “KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!”  
  
And really, if you could be in more than one place at a time, would you stop at just two?  


0o0o0

  
That morning, Sakura awoke in more than one kind of agony. The previous day, she had found out that her instructor rated her as “decent for a genin” when she had previously considered herself damn impressive, and had brought strong supporting evidence for this rating to light during his evaluation of her. She'd then watched him embarrass her crush by separating him from his weapon and forcing him to demonstrate his lackluster skills in unarmed combat. She'd then been dragged on a several hour-long tour of the village (and Suna, somehow) while her idiot of an instructor tried to find the target practice area adjacent to the training field they'd been using. Then she'd been pitted against the cat from hell, Tora. After receiving numerous scratches from said cat, it had turned into a monster, and she'd been forced to escape in order find a place to morph so she could save Negi (and Naruto). Which probably looked to them like she'd abandoned them only for some stranger to show up and save them. And then the monster-cat had run away before she and the other Power Rangers could finish it off. Finally, to top off this list of humiliations, she had discovered that the Hokage already knew who she and the other Power Rangers were. And she still had to arrange a meeting with them so that she could tell Zordon and the other rangers that Jiraiya had discovered their identities.  
  
In addition to the various minor injuries and embarrassments she'd received, she'd been hurt fairly badly fighting Tora after it had turned into a monster. Numerous bruises lined her torso, and moving too quickly hurt. _And I'm supposed to train like this?_ Groaning, she forced herself out of bed. _Oh well. At least my clothes hide the bruises well enough that nobody will ask any questions about them. The last thing I need is for someone to think I've got abusive parents or teammates._  
  
As Sakura left her house to head to the target field, she spotted Naruto. Heading away from the aforementioned target field. _Dammit, if Ryouga's sense of direction is contagious, I'm getting a transfer to another team._ “Hey!” _Idiot,_ she barely managed not to add. Even if Naruto was one, she could do to treat her teammate with respect. Or at least, something less than open hostility.  
  
Naruto jumped, then looked at her in surprise. “Oh, hey Sakura. Heading out for morning training?”  
  
“...The way you said that almost sounds like you're implying that you won't be joining Negi, Ryouga, and myself in it,” said Sakura as she approached her idiotic teammate.  
  
“I'm not. Boss said to go gather intelligence in town. Besides, Ryouga wasn't there.”  
  
Sakura groaned. _Well, I can't say he doesn't need it. But there's no way I'm letting him skip training._ Grabbing Naruto's arm, she started dragging him toward the target field. “You can gather intelligence at the target field.”  
  
Naruto tried to pull away. And utterly failed. “Wait, Sakura, you don't understand.” Naruto tried to twist his arm out of Sakura's grip, which also failed to free him from Sakura's grip. It did, however, prompt her to start twisting his arm. “Ow! Ow ow ow okay, stop! I'll go with you! Just stop before you make me poof!”  
  
Ignoring Naruto's stupidity, Sakura continued to drag him toward the training ground. Although she did stop twisting his arm once he agreed to cooperate. It was at this point that Sakura noticed something interesting. “...Hey Naruto. How come you aren't covered in scratches anymore?”  
  
“Uh...?” replied Naruto, with about the intelligence Sakura expected from him. “I... guess I just heal fast?” said Naruto, though he managed to make it sound like a question.  
  
“That is so unfair,” grumbled Sakura.  


0o0o0

  
“Naruto,” asked Negi. “What are you doing?”  
  
“I'm trying to improve my chakra control,” Naruto replied, rubbing his head in pain.  
  
“By running up the side of a tree and falling on your head?” replied Negi.  
  
“Yes,” replied Naruto. “Wait, I mean no. By using my chakra to stick to the tree so that I can run up it.”  
  
“...Why?” asked Negi.  
  
“Because shadow clones dispel when they land, so I have to do it on my own,” replied Naruto.  
  
“...Er, I meant why are you running up the side of a tree when the leaf concentration exercise will also improve your chakra control and is less dangerous,” said Negi.  
  
“Oh,” replied Naruto. “Uh... I don't know.” _Come to think of it, my clones probably could do the leaf concentration exercise without accidentally dispelling themselves._ Throwing his hands together, Naruto created another dozen shadow clones. “Okay, you guys go do the leaf concentration exercise,” ordered Naruto.  
  
“Got it, boss!” replied the clones. They glanced down looking for leaves. Unfortunately, one of the D-Rank missions commonly employed by Konoha was cleaning up the training areas. So the ground was completely leaf free. For a moment, they stared at each other. They then simultaneously dashed up the sides of the nearest trees, only to fall after making it about halfway up. Twelve poofs signaled the deaths of twelve more shadow clones.  
  
Negi stared in silence. Naruto facepalmed. “Right. You need a leaf to do the leaf concentration exercise. But did they have to try to get them that way?”  
  
“...Why are you making your clones train, anyway?” asked Negi.  


0o0o0

  
Ryouga gathered up the last of his gear. It was just about time for him to meet his students for their daily training. This time, he was going to meet them at the shuriken target field. He would test their aim with shuriken and kunai, and he'd give them a little preview of what he'd be teaching them. Then he'd take them on a mission, and this time he'd stay with them. Or at least leave himself a way to get back into contact with them if he lost track of them. That way, if things got out of hand again, his genin wouldn't be up the creek without a jounin. Again. His day planned out, Ryouga began the series of handseals needed to use the Hiraishin no Jutsu.  
  
As he completed the series of handseals, Ryouga ran into the first wrench in his plans for the day. The Hiraishin no Jutsu allows the user to teleport themselves to any location marked with a particular symbol. When Ryouga had last checked, there were only seven instances of the symbol he used for the Hiraishin no Jutsu in Konoha. One at his apartment, one at the mission office, one in the Hokage's office, the three on the special kunai he'd given to his genin, and one in the shuriken training ground that he'd placed the night before. With as few landing points as there were in Konoha, even Ryouga could keep track of which point went where. Unfortunately, there were no longer seven copies of the symbol throughout Konoha. There were hundreds of them, all over the village. There was no way that he would be able to try them all out quick enough to make it to his team meeting on time.  
  
Ryouga suddenly felt like beating his head against a wall. The poor wall never stood a chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kage Bunshin no Jutsu – Shadow Clone Technique: Naruto's signature technique that creates solid clones of the user. These clones are autonomous, can use ninjutsu, and return any memories they collect to the user upon being dispelled.
> 
> Hiraishin no Jutsu – Flying Thundergod Technique: The signature technique of the Yondaime Hokage, Namikaze Minato. This technique allows the user to teleport to any location marked with a certain symbol. Ryouga's version requires seventy-eight handseals to perform.
> 
> Genin: The starting rank for a ninja in Konoha and most other hidden villages in the Elemental Nations.
> 
> Jounin: The highest rank for a ninja short of being a kage in Konoha and most other hidden villages in the Elemental Nations.
> 
> Tree Walking Training: Chakra control training that consists of climbing trees without using one's hands. By emitting chakra on the bottom of their feet, ninjas can make them stick to the surface of the tree. Too little chakra results in the ninja failing to stick, while too much actually repels them from the tree. Mastering the training not only improves their chakra control to the extent that they can maintain a specific amount of chakra, but also gives the ninja the useful ability to stick to any solid surface, regardless of traction.
> 
> Leaf Concentration Exercise: Basic chakra control training that consists of using chakra to make a leaf stick to a ninja's forehead. In addition to training chakra control, this exercise trains a ninja's ability to concentrate.


	14. Orange Ninja Needs Intelligence Badly II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Naruto makes clones, Sakura makes a fist, Negi makes an excited noise, and Kurenai makes Ryouga wish he had stayed home today.

**Chapter 14: Orange Ninja Needs Intelligence Badly Part II**

  
After thoroughly destroying one of the walls in his apartment, Ryouga spent several minutes looking for the front door. _If I can't teleport there, I'll just have to get there the old fashioned way. Hopefully I won't keep my genin team waiting too long. ...Who am I kidding. They're going to be so mad..._ Finally locating his front door, Hibiki Ryouga stepped out into the impossible maze (for him) that was Konoha.  


0o0o0

  
“That's great!” said an excited sounded voice from the directions of the target field. It was a voice Sakura knew well. Just hearing it improved her mood, bringing a grin to her face.  
  
Looking back from where she'd heard Negi's excited shout, Sakura turned toward Naruto. “Looks like Negi beat us here,” she said. _I wonder who he's talking to. Maybe Ryouga already got here and we're actually not going to spend hours waiting for him._  
  
“Sounds like it,” replied Naruto flatly, still pouting. Sakura's grin disappeared, and she looked down at the arm she still had trapped within her grasp.  
  
“Alright. Here is what we're going to do. I'm going to let go of your arm. And you are not going to run. You are going to calmly follow me to the training ground and wait for Ryouga to show up. If you don't, I'm going to chase you down, and I am going to inflict large amounts bodily harm upon you.”  
  
“Whatever,” Naruto replied unenthusiastically. “Since you aren't listening anyway, it'll be easier to just show you.”  
  
“Good,” Sakura replied equally unenthusiastically. Releasing Naruto's arm, she prepared to chase after him. When he didn't run, she turned back toward the training ground they were approaching. And gasped in surprise. Having made their way through the barrier of trees that had been obscuring the shuriken target field from sight while they had been having their discussion, Sakura could now see who Negi was talking to. It was Naruto. Who was standing right next to him. Even though he was also right next to her, while she was about a hundred meters away from Negi.  
  
 _Wait, what? How can...? ...Wait a second._ Sakura turned a very angry glare toward the Naruto standing next to her. “YOU'RE A BUNSHIN?” she shouted.  
  
“...Yes?” whimpered the Naruto clone.  
  
With a growl, Sakura launched a front snap kick at his head.  
  
The Naruto clone started to raise its arms up defensively, but wasn't quick enough to block the kick. “NOT THE-” he started to say, before being violently dispelled.  
  
“FACE!” continued the real Naruto from next to Negi, his hands reflexively raised from his clone's attempt to try to block Sakura's kick. “...Uh... Hello Sakura,” greeted Naruto rather awkwardly. “I see you ran into one of my clones.”   
  
“Hello Sakura,” said Negi, trying not to sound worried after the display he'd just witnessed. _After all, if Naruto's okay with that when he's the one getting the clone's memories, I shouldn't let it bother me. Right?_  
  
“Good morning Negi,” Sakura said as cutely as she could manage, all traces of her anger mysteriously vanishing. “If you'll excuse me for a moment, I have something I'd like to ask Naruto.” Before either boy could answer, she stomped over to Naruto, grabbed him, and dragged him several meters away from Negi. Ignoring the worried look from Negi, Sakura grabbed Naruto by the shirt and pulled him toward her. “Why did you have a clone running around Konoha?” she growled. “And why didn't it tell me it was a clone?”  
  
“Uh...” replied Naruto, trying to sort through the clone's memories quickly enough to answer his teammate's questions before she resorted to more of the bodily harm she'd promised the clone. “It tried to tell you it was a clone, but you wouldn't let it, so it gave up?”  
  
Sakura's snarl informed Naruto that that wasn't the answer she'd been looking for. “And why did you have a clone out there to begin with?”  
  
Panicking, Naruto began babbling. “Well, I got here, but Ryouga wasn't here. So I thought that I'd be stuck waiting for him all day, since he's always lost. I didn't want to wait around all day for him while he got unlost, but I didn't think leaving would be a good idea, since we're supposed to be waiting for him, so I did the next best thing and sent clones out to do what I wanted to do after training for me while I waited for Ryouga. And uh, that's why there are clones of me in Konoha.”  
  
Sakura groaned and released her grip on Naruto's shirt. “Why would you... How did that even seem like... wait. Clones? As in, more than one?” Sakura gave him a warning look. “How many of you are there in Konoha right now?”  
  
“Uh... can I get back to you on that?” replied Naruto.  


0o0o0

  
Naruto paused. In front of him was what appeared to be a lake. That wasn't the odd part. The odd part was that there appeared to be an island in the middle of it, with a bridge connecting it to the mainland. From what he could see, there were several buildings in the island that were built in an odd style, including a tower with a large clock on the side of it. _Okay, this definitely wasn't in Konoha before. I'd have remembered something this distinctive. Hmm... Well, Boss said to gather intelligence, and I'd say that this counts as something that he should know._  
  
The Naruto clone prepared to dispel itself and return its memories to Naruto. However, before it could, something abruptly occurred to it. _Wait. If I dispel now, Boss is just going to send a bunch more clones to investigate this place. But they'll all be where he is, and I'm right here. I might as well investigate myself and save some time. I'll dispel afterwards._  
  
Nodding to himself, Naruto began walking toward the island. A few moments later, he began walking toward the bridge, now sporting wet pant legs. _Dammit. Not being able to water-walk sucks._  


0o0o0

  
Deep within Training Ground 44, a very tired, very angry, very sweaty kunoichi leapt from tree to tree, searching the forest for her targets. She didn't know what they looked like, but there couldn't be many other people within the Forest of Death, so they would be rather obvious once she came across them. It was very important that she find them. And she had to do it soon.  
  
She hadn't slept in days, and it was beginning to catch up to her. She could still fend off anything the forest could throw at her, but soon that would no longer be the case. Already she could feel herself slipping. Soon she would fail to notice an approaching predator, or misjudge a jump, or let her chakra control slip and fall to her death. If she could take a few hours to sleep, she would be able to keep going for longer, but sleeping in the Forest of Death without anyone to stand guard was a terrible idea, even for a jounin like herself. So she kept on moving without taking the rest she desperately needed.  
  
Suddenly, an explosion drew her attention to the forest floor. Something had just destroyed a large rock, blasting it into pieces which were even now raining down around where it had once been. Could this be them? Her targets? She could see a human shaped form obscured by dust, but only one. Cautiously, she made her way closer.  
  
Suddenly, the form looked up. Whoever it was had just spotted her. Drawing a kunai, she prepared to engage the mysterious figure in combat. Perhaps it was an ally, but it could just as easily be an enemy ninja that had somehow invaded Konoha. For now, all she could do was wait for the dust to clear. And as it began to clear, the person she saw overwhelmed her with rage.  
  
“Kurenai?” asked Ryouga, sounding confused. “What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be training your team?”  
  
“RAAAAAH!” screamed Yuuhi Kurenai, as she launched herself toward Ryouga.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Genin – The lowest rank a ninja from Konoha and most other hidden villages in the Elemental Nations can have after graduating the Ninja Academy.
> 
> Bunshin – Clone
> 
> Jounin – The highest rank a ninja from Konoha and most other hidden villages in the Elemental Nations can have short of being the kage.


	15. Orange Ninja Needs Intelligence Badly III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto's clones demonstrate the danger of having hundreds of Narutos throughout Konoha that are both unsupervised and won't have to deal with the consequences of their actions.

“Holy crap,” said Naruto as he stared at the structures that lay before him, eyes wide in surprise. From the distance, it had appeared to be a group of buildings, but as he crossed the bridge, he realized that he had grossly underestimated the scale of it. This was practically a second village inside Konoha. And now that he was right next to it, he could clearly see the sign on the entrance reading 'Library Island.' “We have a library?!”  


**Chapter 15: Orange Ninja Needs Intelligence Badly Part III**

  
“HUNDREDS?!” shrieked Sakura. “YOU'VE UNLEASHED HUNDREDS OF CLONES THROUGHOUT KONOHA?”  
  
“Yes?” replied Naruto sheepishly, arms half raised and fully expecting a beating. What he got was merely an insult.  
  
“NARUTO, YOU IDIOT!”  
  
When no punch accompanied the declaration, Naruto started defending himself. “What's wrong with making hundreds of clones of myself and dispersing them throughout Konoha?” he asked.  
  
Sakura gave him an absolutely deadpan look. “Naruto, you are the worst prankster in Konoha. What do you think is wrong with making hundreds of copies of yourself and unleashing them throughout Konoha?”  
  
“Okay, it does sound bad when you say it that way,” admitted Naruto. “But,” he replied, cutting off Sakura, “I swear, they're not going to be pranking.”  
  
“And how do you know?” asked Sakura, clearly less than believing.  
  
“Because they've got a mission to perform, after which they're supposed to dispel,” replied Naruto.  
  
Sakura gave him a long look. However, she clearly remembered his clone making a comment about being ordered to gather intelligence. And Naruto had reacted to her destroying his clone the same way the clone had started to. _Does Naruto receive memories from his clones?_ “...Alright. If you're sure.”  
  
 _Huh?_ thought Naruto. _She believes me?_ Grinning confidently, Naruto gave her a thumbs up. “I totally am!” he exclaimed.  


0o0o0

  
“IRUKA! IRUKA! THERE'S A GUY OUT THERE PRETENDING TO BE ME!” shouted Naruto as he burst dramatically into... an empty classroom. He looked around for a moment before remembering why it was empty. “...Oh, right. Class doesn't start up again for about a week.” Turning around, Naruto walked off, dragging the Naruto he'd captured and hogtied as evidence away with him.  


0o0o0

  
Naruto, transformed into the guise of a young girl, grinned perversely, thoroughly enjoying the girls' side of the local onsen. After all, someone had to gather intelligence on it. So it might as well be him. Especially since if he was caught, he could just burst into smoke and vanish without a trace. Some days, it was good to be a clone. Unbeknownst to him, three other Narutos were present, having had the same idea.  


0o0o0

  
Naruto paused as he passed Ichiraku Ramen. A low rumble emanated from his stomach. _Damn. I'd really like to eat something, but all the money I've got with me will disappear when I do. Normally I wouldn't care, but Teuchi deserves better than to have his profits stolen from clone money. If only I had some real money... Actually, don't we need to find out where the other Naruto kept his money? Maybe he stored it somewhere in the apartment._ Grinning, Naruto set off toward his apartment.  


0o0o0

  
While Sakura had been interrogating Naruto, Negi had started practicing throwing kunai at the practice field's targets. However, from what she had seen during the peeks she'd managed to sneak whenever Naruto winced, he seemed to be missing a lot more than usual. Almost as if he was trying to throw without looking at the targets. As soon as she finished interrogating her idiotic teammate and started approaching him, however, he immediately improved to his usual accuracy. Sakura grinned. _Just being nearby helps improve Negi's aim. It must be because he feels safer with me around._  
  
 _Uh oh, here she comes,_ thought Negi. Turning back toward the targets so Sakura wouldn't realize he'd been watching her chew out Naruto, ready to jump in if she went too far, Negi threw another kunai, this one actually hitting the target.  
  
“Oh, good idea,” said Naruto, finally noticing what Negi had been doing. “Who knows how long Ryouga's going to be. We should get in some kunai throwing practice while we wait.” Throwing his hands together, Naruto created six more clones, who immediately started throwing kunai at the targets. And missing. A lot.  
  
Sakura groaned. _Great. More clones. What the hell is taking Ryouga so long, anyway?_  


0o0o0

  
_Dammit,_ thought Ryouga, dodging another kunai swipe. _Being attacked by an angry kunoichi for reasons unknown to me. This is the kind of crap that's supposed to happen to Ranma!_ “Why are we fighting?” he asked, not for the first time since he'd been attacked, but once again Kurenai's only response was to growl and lunge at him. _At least she's sticking with taijutsu. At least I think she is. ...Which is odd now that I think about it, since genjutsu is her specialty. ...Crap._  
  
Diving to the side, Ryouga concealed himself behind a tree and released a burst of chakra, attempting to dispel the genjutsu he was under. _...Nothing happened. No wait! Correction: Kurenai just tried to stab me again._ Evading the stab attempt by jumping back (accidentally breaking the tree in half in the process), Ryouga considered his situation. _Okay, I'm not under a genjutsu. Kurenai isn't listening to me, and seems rather intent on killing me. She's not using any ninjutsu or genjutsu, and is attempting to murder me using just taijutsu. Which, again, is really odd, since taijutsu is not her specialty. ...Could she be a fake? Or maybe being controlled by genjutsu?_ The more Ryouga thought about it, the more sense it seemed to make. Why else would Yuuhi Kurenai, a non-hostile acquaintance of his, attempt to kill him, Hibiki Ryouga, a fine, upstanding member of Konoha who hadn't done anything to provoke her into a murder attempt recently (as far as he knew). It didn't make sense. Nobody was this violent to an acquaintance without them doing something absolutely unforgivable (or being from Nerima). Ryouga abruptly sneezed, then dodged another kunai swipe.  
  
 _Yep, definitely either under a genjutsu or a fake. Even her taijutsu isn't up to its usual par. So all I need to do is disrupt her chakra._ Ryouga jumped back to evade a kick followed by yet another kunai swipe. He started to move forward, only to duck to evade a thrown kunai. _Something tells me she isn't going to cooperate long enough for me to do this the easy way. I guess we're doing this the hard way._ Ryouga curled one hand into a fist. _I'll try not to hurt her too badly, but I need to hit her hard enough to break the genjutsu._ “Sorry about this, Kurenai,” said Ryouga. A second later, he added, “unless you're a fake, in which case you probably deserve this.” Ryouga leapt forward and punched.  


0o0o0

  
“Oops,” said one of the Narutos, having just thrown the special kunai Ryouga gave him. Them. The boss. Whatever.  
  
The kunai crashed into the ground at the base of the target, and suddenly there was a flash and a loud crash as the target was sent flying.  
  
“What the?” said ten voices simultaneously, although seven of them were Naruto's (two of which finished with bad words).  
  
“Ryouga?” asked a Naruto, as his aforementioned instructor stared at the target in confusion. “Oh, right,” he said, facepalming. “The kunai summons Ryouga when you throw it.”  
  
“It does?” asked Negi, legitimately surprised. “I see! So that's why Ryouga wanted us to hold onto them. And how he got there during our test!”  
  
For a moment, Naruto felt a chill run down his back. Shivering, he looked over at Sakura. Who was smiling sweetly and not looking at him. “Good morning, Ryouga. Sorry we didn't summon you earlier, but nobody told us those kunai did that.” She said it politely, without a hint of menace. Nevertheless, Naruto felt another chill run down his back.  
  
Later on, when his clones dispelled, he would receive six sets of similar memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kunoichi – Originally, this meant ninjas with training more orientated toward seduction than normal ninjas, but the Naruto universe uses this term to mean female ninjas.
> 
> Onsen – A hot spring that serves as a public bathing facility.


	16. Orange Ninja Needs Intelligence Badly IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto explores Library Island. Meanwhile, Negi, Sakura, and Naruto spy on their jounin instructor, Ryouga, to determine why he has chosen to put off their training for the time being.

**Chapter 16: Orange Ninja Needs Intelligence Badly Part IV**

  
Naruto looked around. He'd never been in Konoha's library prior to the village's destruction at Pain's hands, but he'd had some idea of what to expect from the one that had been built later and the Hokage's private library he'd stolen the forbidden scroll from. At least, he'd thought he did. However, as he entered Library Island, he realized he'd had no idea whatsoever what he was going into.  
  
Instead of the numerous scrolls he'd been expecting, he'd found himself surrounded by books. Lots and lots of books. Entire shelves full of them, more than he could ever hope to count. _How does anyone find anything around here?_  
  
In addition to the distinct lack of scrolls, Naruto noticed that the library seemed to be serving both ninja and civilians. _...Actually, it looks like this place is made specifically for civilians. There don't actually seem to be very many ninja here at all._ Nevertheless, the place was eerily quiet. Naruto felt slightly uncomfortable, and quickly noticed the glares he was getting from several people around the library. Naruto awkwardly adjusted his headband for a moment, then pressed on. Ignoring the numerous sets of eyes watching him, Naruto wandered deeper into the library.  


0o0o0

  
Ryouga looked around in surprise. The instant he had hit Kurenai, she had turned into a large shuriken practice target and the scenery around him had changed drastically, the forest vanishing only to be abruptly replaced by a target practice field. _Was I under a genjutsu after all?_ However, before he could do anything to test the theory, one of his students started talking to him.  
  
“Good morning, Ryouga. Sorry we didn't summon you earlier, but nobody told us those kunai did that.”  
  
 _Summon? Oh crap._ Looking down, Ryouga spotted one of the special kunai he'd given to his genin students buried in the ground at his feet. _Damn. So I didn't break out of a genjutsu. Then Kurenai really was attacking me. I need to find her quick._ However, as he looked around, he felt the beginnings of despair gnawing at him. The forest he'd been fighting her in wasn't anywhere in sight. Although something else that was rather important was. Walking over to a nearby tree, Ryouga pulled off the wooden plate he'd nailed to it the night before. The same wooden plate that, being engraved with the symbol used as a target for his Hiraishin, would have allowed him to find the training ground were it not for the appearance of hundreds of other copies of the symbol throughout Konoha.  
  
“Don't worry about that. I was going to come here on my own. Unfortunately, something's come up. Training is canceled for today. If you want, you can...” Ryouga abruptly paused. _I was going to suggest letting them do a D-Rank on their own, but judging how their last one went once I lost track of them..._ “Actually, nevermind. Bad idea. Today's a free day. Training will resume as usual tomorrow. But no missions without supervision.” Ignoring the looks of surprise on their faces, Ryouga looked around. _Shit. How am I supposed to find her without knowing where I was to begin with?_ Silently swearing, Ryouga fell back on what he usually did when he had to find something that he didn't know how to get to: he picked a direction and started walking.  


0o0o0

  
Naruto continued to wander around the library in silence. Everywhere he went, he received numerous glares, but nobody actually did anything to stop him, so he continued to wander deeper into the library.  
  
Suddenly, a hand grabbed him by the shoulder. “Naruto,” said a stern, irritated sounding female voice from behind him, disrupting the oppressive silence.  
  
“YIPE!” Naruto yiped, spinning around to face his ambusher. She was a girl about the same height as him with a rather large forehead (on par with Sakura, he noted), long purple hair with two braids resting on her shoulder while the rest hung down behind her, a juice pack in her hand, and an irritated look on her face. _Holy crap! Where'd she come from?_ A quick glance confirmed that there was no forehead protector in sight: whoever she was, she wasn't a shinobi.  
  
“It seems as though you've passed your genin test. But even if you are a ninja, if we catch you wandering around any lower than basement level 3 without being accompanied by a jounin or a Library Expedition Club member again, we're banning you for life.” Naruto nodded rapidly. Apparently satisfied by his response, the girl started to leave. Naruto started to relax. “And no eating in the library!” she abruptly added, causing him to jump.  
  
Naruto stared blankly at the retreating form of the girl. She looked like a civilian, but she didn't carry herself like one, and most civilians wouldn't dare chew out a ninja, genin or not. Naruto made a note to find out who she was. A note which was promptly forgotten as he went back to wandering aimlessly through the library.  


0o0o0

  
_Dammit!_ thought Ryouga as he charged forward. _First the thing with the copies of my Hiraishin symbol showing up all over town, now Kurenai is either an impostor or under the influence of a genjutsu and attacks me on sight._ Abruptly, something occurred to Ryouga. _...Oh crap! Someone's targeting me! Other than Kurenai, I mean. Shit! Okay, quick, think. What's their next move? First they ruined my abiliity to get anywhere by putting my Hiraishin symbol everywhere. Then they sent someone after me. Admittedly, someone that can't beat me, but someone I can't afford to just hospitalize. ...Someone to keep me busy._ Ryouga's eyes abruptly widened. _My genin team! I'm not the target, they are!_ Spinning around, Ryouga prepared to order his team to follow him. Only to find that they were nowhere in sight. _Dammit!_  
  
And then, as if by the cue of some cruel deity, it abruptly started to rain. Ryouga was having a rather bad day.  


0o0o0

  
From the trees nearby, Naruto, Sakura, and Negi followed Ryouga in silence. Or at least, that was the intent, but Ryouga proved much too quick for that method of tailing, and being genin incapable of performing tree walking, leaping from tree branch to tree branch was too dangerous to perform at top speed.  
  
Contrary to Ryouga's apparent belief, telling his genin team that he was blowing off training them because something more important had come up did not particularly inspire them to go home and take the day off. Sakura had been pissed, Negi had been worried, and Naruto had decided that Negi would probably make an effective human shield, but only if he was nearby. So Sakura, Negi, and Naruto had ended up following Ryouga, intending to find out what was going on.  
  
Unfortunately, it seemed Ryouga was lost. He was charging randomly in every direction, and the only reason they were able to keep up at all was due to Ryouga's frequent crisscrossing. Quickly, the three abandoned all attempts at stealth and simply put everything they had into speed in a desperate attempt to keep up. Luck seemed to be on their side, as a rather strong wind blew at their backs, helping them to run faster and muffling their footsteps, while a strong crosswind tried futilely to slow Ryouga down. How incredibly convenient for them. Almost as if some sort of magical being was manipulating the weather in their favor. But that would just be silly.  
  
Abruptly, Ryouga whirled around. Fortunately, just as he did so, this convenient wind blew them all behind a tree. Thus, they managed to avoid being spotted by their instructor.  
  
Sakura resisted the urge to elbow Naruto in the face for grabbing her butt when they landed behind the tree. She was reasonably sure that this one was real and would not silently poof into smoke, and a cry of pain would probably give away their position, conveniently sound muffling wind or not.  
  
Naruto braced himself for the elbow to the face he suspected he was about to receive for grabbing Sakura's butt when they landed. Surprisingly, the elbow did not come. _Maybe she didn't notice._  
  
 ** _Try grabbing it again. Maybe this world's Sakura is okay with it,_** chimed in the Kyuubi.  
  
 _You just want her to hit me,_ thought Naruto.  
  
 ** _That goes without saying,_** replied the Kyuubi. **_But are you really going to risk not knowing?_**  
  
 _Yes,_ replied Naruto.  
  
 ** _Just think. You could be in a world where you could grab Sakura's butt all you want, and you would never know. Just because you were too cowardly for one grope._**  
  
 _I'm not grabbing Sakura's butt._  
  
 ** _Spoilsport._**  
  
While Naruto and Sakura were distracted, Negi peeked around the edge of the tree. Consequently, he was the only one to see what actually happened when it started raining. His eyes widened in surprise, and he nearly cried out in shock.  
  
The thump of Ryouga's pack hitting the ground alerted Sakura and Naruto, who promptly peeked around the tree as well. However, all they saw was a pile of clothing half buried under a backpack.  
  
“What the?” yelled Sakura. “Where'd he go?”  
  
Negi froze as he tried to think up a believable lie. However, Naruto beat him to it.  
  
“Are you serious?! He actually got so lost he lost his clothing?”  
  
As Sakura and Naruto argued over the stupidity of the possibility, Negi watched in terror as a small black animal burst from the pile of clothing before darting into the nearby undergrowth. It moved quickly, and Ryouga's bandanna covered a lot of its body, so it was hard to get a good look at it. But Negi knew the penalty for mages that exposed magic to others. And while he hadn't realized Ryouga was a mage, Ryouga had informed them of the existence of magic when he told them of his curse. And while Naruto and Sakura didn't believe him then, they almost certainly did now. So clearly, Ryouga had been turned into an ermine.  
  
“We should look somewhere else,” said Negi, interrupting Naruto and Sakura's argument on whether or not magic could randomly render people naked. “Ryouga clearly isn't here anymore, so we need to get moving if we want to find him again.”  
  
It was all up to him. Naruto and Sakura had only known about magic for a few days. If he erased their memories of their time together as Team Five, magic would no longer be exposed, and he could try to get Ryouga changed back. However, Naruto and Sakura were trained ninja. He couldn't just explain the situation to them and calmly wipe their minds. He would have to distract them with something first. He just wished he didn't feel so guilty about erasing the memories of his new teammates.  


0o0o0

  
One thing was certain: this library was big. The further in he got, the more he realized that he'd severely underestimated the scale of the building. At this point, he wasn't even sure he was in the same building anymore. Were the other buildings on the island connected to the one he'd entered?  
  
Eventually, the people watching him seemed to lose interest. Or perhaps he simply lost them in the maze of bookshelves that formed area. If it wasn't for the fact that he was a shadow clone, Naruto would be worried about finding his way back out. Again he wondered how anyone found anything around here. It was a damn maze!  
  
The sound of giggling snapped Naruto out of his reverie. Turning, he looked for the source. However, silence surrounded him. Just as he began to wonder if he'd just imagined it, he heard it again, coming from behind a nearby bookshelf. Naruto moved to investigate.  
  
As he rounded the shelf, he spotted Ino, blushing as she read from an orange book. “Ino? What are you doing here?”  
  
With a yelp of surprise, Ino snapped the book shut and spun to face him, hiding the book behind her back. “N-Naruto? What are you doing here?” Quickly recovering her composure, her eyebrows narrowed. “Wait a minute. Didn't you get banned for starting a fire?” she asked suspiciously, bringing her now empty hands back out from behind her back.  
  
 _Oh crap,_ thought Naruto. That's what those glares were for! “Uh...” replied Naruto, trying to think of a convincing lie. Unfortunately, the best he could come up with was “I asked you first?” Ignoring his question, Ino studied him.  
  
“Oh, right,” Ino said after a moment, raising a hand to her forehead. “You passed your genin exam. I guess they can't really keep ninjas out of here. Even if the ninja in question was banned back when they were a civilian. Still, shouldn't you be on a mission or something?”  
  
“...Shouldn't you?” replied Naruto.  
  
“I wish,” groaned Ino. “My team's jounin instructor disappeared right after we finished our first mission. We haven't seen hide nor hair of her since.”  
  
“That sucks.”  
  
“No kidding. And we're not even allowed to do missions on our own until we get permission from our jounin. So yeah. We're stuck until she gets back or turns up dead.” Once again, Ino groaned. After a moment, she seemed to remember something. “So, why are you here?”  
  
“I'm not,” replied Naruto.  
  
Ino gave him a deadpan look. “Yes you are. I'm talking to you.”  
  
“You must be crazy Ino. I'm with Negi and Sakura waiting for my jounin instructor to arrive for morning training.”  
  
Ino started to look irritated. “Naruto, I'm not in the mood for this.”  
  
“Then take it up with the real me. I'm just a clone.”  
  
“Naruto, you can't even make clones.”  
  
“Then how am I here?” asked Naruto, grinning smugly. Ino's response was to deliver an orange book to his face at a high velocity. Naruto vanished into a puff of smoke, but not before he got a good look at the title.  


0o0o0

  
As the clone dispelled, its memories joined those of its creator. “Holy crap!” Naruto abruptly shouted, startling Negi and Sakura. “...We have a library!”  
  
Sakura gave Naruto a deadpan look. “Yes Naruto. Konoha does have a library.”  
  
“...Cool! I bet there are all sorts of awesome jutsu in there!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Genin: The starting rank for a ninja in Konoha and most other hidden villages in the Elemental Nations.
> 
> Hiraishin no Jutsu: The fourth Hokage's trademark teleportation jutsu. Originally, this jutsu was lost with the death of the fourth Hokage, but Ryouga was able to recreate an inferior version of it.
> 
> Jounin: The highest rank for a ninja short of being a kage in Konoha and most other hidden villages in the Elemental Nations.
> 
> Library Expedition Club: a group dedicated to exploring and mapping the giant, largely subterranean library known as Library Island. Due to the numerous traps littering the lower levels of Library Island, most of the experienced members of the Library Expedition Club are roughly as skilled as an experienced genin, despite not knowing how to use chakra.
> 
> Tree Walking: using chakra to stick to surfaces, allowing ninjas to have perfect traction on any surface and to apparently defy gravity by sticking to non-horizontal surfaces.


	17. Orange Ninja Needs Intelligence Badly V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryouga struggles with his curse, Sakura struggles with explaining that her identity has been exposed, Negi struggles to follow what's going on, and Naruto struggles with his lack of intelligence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those of you unfamiliar with Ranma 1/2 should probably take a look at the note at the end of this chapter before actually reading it.

**Chapter 17: Orange Ninja Needs Intelligence Badly Part V**

  
_This just isn't fair,_ thought Ryouga as he watched from the bushes while his genin team walked off. _They're right there! Dammit!_ Unable to do anything while it was raining due to his Jusenkyo curse, Ryouga watched in frustration as they left. And he continued to hide in the bushes like the cowardly piglet he was.  
  
After a moment, Ryouga walked over to his clothing, pack, and umbrella. Jumping onto his pack, he began pulling at the latch with his teeth. After a few moments, he managed to undo it and opened the pack. Sticking his head inside, he quickly located the target of his search: a thermos. Years of dealing with his curse had taught Ryouga to always keep it near the top of his pack, and to reheat it every few hours. Unfortunately, years of living with his curse had also taught him that trying to change back in the rain was useless. He would have to find shelter first.  
  
Silently swearing (since as a piglet, he couldn't actually swear audibly), Ryouga turned away from his pack. He would have to get a new one later. Right now, becoming human again was more important than keeping his pack.  


0o0o0

  
Ino's eyes bulged as a certain orange-clad nuisance vanished in a puff of smoke upon contact with her book. _But Naruto can't make clones! And they don't work like that anyway!_ Ino paused and took a breath. _Calm down. He's trying to trick me. Naruto can't make clones, but he can use kawarimi. I wasn't aware that he could do it without handseals, but he just did, so I guess he can. Kawarimi only works with nearby objects, so he can't be far. But first..._ Ino quickly scooped up the copy of Icha Icha Paradise she'd thrown at Naruto and concealed it in a pouch behind her back.  


0o0o0

  
Grinning, Naruto unlocked his apartment door. Soon, he would find the money the other Naruto didn't keep in his wallet. Then, he would take it, and he would buy himself ramen. After that he would find another Naruto to see what happens when a shadow clone eats before dispelling. Hopefully, after all was said and done, they wouldn't be stuck living off of D-Rank missions again like last time. He didn't want to have to move back in with Jiraiya.  
  
Naruto blinked. He wasn't quite sure where that last thought had come from. Outside of the training trip, he was pretty sure he'd never so much as slept at the same place as Jiraiya, much less moved in with him.  
  
Before he could contemplate this further, Naruto opened his front door and stepped into his apartment. And froze, his previous train of thought abandoned. After a few moments of shocked silence, Naruto dispelled.  


0o0o0

  
Naruto suddenly froze in place, drawing surprised looks from Negi and Sakura. “OH SHIT! MY APARTMENT!” He then took off, leaving behind his confused teammates.  
  
“Naruto, wait!” yelled Negi, taking off in pursuit. “What's wrong?” But Naruto didn't answer, choosing instead to focus entirely on running.  
  
Nevertheless, Negi quickly gained on him, and soon the two of them were running through town as fast as they could.  
  
Back at where they had been moments before, Sakura stared in confusion. “What the hell just happened?”  


0o0o0

  
Kurenai wasn't happy. Earlier, her prey had arrived. She had attempted to subdue him, but he had somehow managed to escape. Since then, she had been on the move. She knew that he was running scared, that coward. How dare he run out on their fight!  
  
Damn him! Because of him, she had seen hell. At the moment, she couldn't quite remember how (lack of sleep will do that), but she knew deep in her heart that he was the source of her suffering these past few days. Yes, this was all his fault! And when she found him, she would destroy his happiness. “DAMN YOU, HIBIKI RYOUGA!” shouted Kurenai. “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!”  
  
Despite being in the middle of the Forest of Death, no attacks came to answer her shout. This might have had something to do with all the killing intent Kurenai was releasing.  


0o0o0

  
It occurred to Sakura that she still hadn't contacted Zordon and the other rangers. However, since Ryouga, Negi, and Naruto had all left her alone, now was probably a good time to do so. Raising her wrist before her, she pressed a button on the side of her communicator.  
  
“I read you, Sakura,” replied Zordon after a moment's pause.  
  
“Zordon, contact the other rangers and ask them to come to the command center. I found out something everyone needs to know.”  
  
“Alright, Sakura.”  
  
“Thanks,” said Sakura as she released the button. She then looked around, verifying that nobody was nearby. Nobody seemed to be, so she pressed a different button on the device. In a flash of red light, she vanished into the sky.  


0o0o0

  
Somehow, Ryouga found himself indoors. Which was odd, as he didn't remember entering any buildings. However, the floor was tiled, he could see walls, and what looked like sinks and a trash can were just a few feet away from him. So he was probably inside. He hoped.  
  
Glancing around to verify that nobody was nearby, Ryouga set the thermos down. Walking around the front of it, he bit down on the lid and began to twist it off. Years of practice had made it easier, but taking the top off of a thermos without hands is still rather difficult.  
  
After a few minutes of struggling with the thing, Ryouga heard noises. It sounded like people talking. And it was getting louder. Abandoning his attempts to open the thermos, Ryouga grabbed it and started to drag it over to the trash can. Hopefully, if he hid behind it, nobody would see him.  
  
As Ryouga made his way over to the trash can, he heard a pop followed by a splash. And suddenly the thermos was lighter.  
  
 _No._ Dropping the thermos, Ryouga spun around. And started to cry. Ryouga's fears were confirmed: the lid had popped off of the thermos, and the water had been dumped on the floor. He was going to be stuck like this for a while.  
  
The sound of a door opening snapped him out of his misery. Leaving the thermos where he'd dropped it, Ryouga bolted toward the trash can and hid behind it.  
  
“Huh?” said a voice, though Ryouga couldn't see who it belonged to from behind the trash can. It sounded female, but he didn't recognize it.  
  
“Looks like someone lost their water bottle,” said a second voice, also female.  
  
“That's not a water bottle, Asuna,” said the first voice. “That's a thermos. It's for keeping food or drinks the same temperature over a period of time.”  
  
“Looks like a water bottle to me,” said the second voice, now identified as Asuna. Ryouga heard a splash. “Ha! It is a water bottle! This stuff on the floor is water!”  
  
“Asuna, don't drink things off the floor! Especially in the bathroom! You'll get sick!”  
  
Ryouga groaned, though it came out as a “bwee.” Even he knew better than that.  
  
“What was that?” said Asuna.  
  
 _Oh crap! They heard me!_  
  
“I didn't hear anything,” said the still unidentified first voice.  
  
“It was quiet,” said Asuna in a hushed tone. “Almost like someone's stomach rumbling. Hold on.”  
  
Suddenly, the room went quiet. Ryouga tensed. Any minute now, they would peek around the side of the trashcan and discover him. His eyes scanned for escape routes, but he couldn't see the door from his hiding place. Would he be able to get out? Crouching, Ryouga prepared to spring into action the moment anyone peeked around the trashcan.  
  
Suddenly, the trashcan he was hiding behind lifted up and slammed back down on top of him as the voice named Asuna cried “TAKE THIS P-.” Which was all Ryouga heard before unconsciousness claimed him.  


0o0o0

  
Naruto, along with Negi, arrived at Naruto's apartment. Not even taking time to comment on his still open front door, Naruto dashed inside, Negi only steps behind him. Suddenly, Naruto froze in horror, almost causing Negi to crash into him. Negi said something, but Naruto didn't actually hear him. He was too busy surveying the damage. A large portion of the east wall of his apartment had been smashed out, connecting it with the apartment next to it and leaving bits of rubble all over the floor. As far as he knew, he was the only inhabitant of this floor. Which could only mean one thing.  
  
“Negi,” said Naruto, turning to face his rather stunned teammate. “I think I've been robbed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jusenkyo – somewhere in China, there exists a place known as Jusenkyo, which plays host to over 100 springs, each possessing a terrible curse and a tragic story. Now, whoever falls into a spring takes the form of whatever last drowned in the spring. This can be temporarily reversed by exposing the curse victim to warm water, but cold water reactivates it. At the age of 16, Hibiki Ryouga was knocked into one such spring by a recently cursed Saotome Ranma. Now, exposure to cold water causes Ryouga to take on the form of a little black piglet.
> 
> Kawarimi no Jutsu – Replacement Technique: One of the three basic ninjutsu taught to academy students, this technique allows the user to instantly switch themselves with nearby objects.
> 
> Icha Icha: the series of adult novels that Jiraiya writes in his spare time. Icha Icha Paradise is the first book of the series and is the infamous orange book that Kakashi carries around in canon.
> 
> Killing Intent – the intent to kill, especially notable when focused through chakra, ki, or magic. It can cause those nearby to feel fear, make bad decisions, paralyze them with terror, and even cause them to pass out. Small animals are especially sensitive to this, but enough killing intent can even affect large predators and humans. Theoretically, enough killing intent can actually cause those nearby to commit suicide or die of heart attacks.
> 
> Communicator – a small, watch-like device that each Power Ranger wears on their wrist. This device allows the Power Rangers to remotely contact Zordon and each other. It also allows them to tap into the teleportation grid.


	18. Orang Ninja Needs Intelligence Badly VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryouga takes an unintended trip to the local animal shelter, Naruto investigates his apartment, Negi tags along, and Sakura talks to Zordon.

It had all started out as an ordinary day. Kagurazaka Asuna and Konoe Konoka had woken up in their shared dorm room, Konoka had made breakfast, and after eating, the two had gone to school. Asuna, along with the other four students with the lowest grades in the class, the so called "Baka Rangers", had all failed the pop quiz. She had also fawned over her teacher, fallen asleep in class, eaten her own homework, and gotten into a fight with the class representative, Yukihiro Ayaka. Konoka had hung out with Asuna during her free time and enjoyed watching her antics from the safe position of a bystander.  
  
After school ended, Asuna mentioned needing to use the restroom. So the pair of friends had gone to the bathroom. And then Asuna found a thermos. And then Asuna had heard a noise. And now Asuna was beating on a little black piglet with a trash can.  


**Chapter 18: Orange Ninja Needs Intelligence Badly VI**

  
“TAKE THIS YOU PERVERT!” yelled Asuna, slamming down the trashcan.   
  
“Asuna, stop!” yelled Konoka, as her red-haired friend started pounding on a piglet with a trashcan. “That's not even a person!”   
  
“Huh?” asked Asuna intelligently, mercifully lowering the trashcan. “Oops! You're right!” Dropping the trashcan (fortunately, not on the piglet), she scooped up the little black piglet that had been the target of her beating. “Oh no! It's not moving!”  
  
“Check and see if it's breathing!” yelled Konoka.   
  
“I don't know! I can't tell!” At this point, both girls were starting to panic.  
“Wait wait wait wait! Okay, calm down,” said Konoka. "Just calm down.”  
  
Asuna nodded and took a deep breath. When she had stopped hyperventilating, she looked at Konoka.  
  
“Alright. Hand the pig over to me.” Asuna obliged, and Konoka inspected the animal. “...It's alive. But I think it's hurt. Asuna, do you know any veterinarians?"  
  
"Hnn..." Asuna closed her eyes in concentration and raised her hands to the sides of her head as she tried to think of one. Then, her eyes snapped open. "Oh! Rei from class 2-C! Asuka says she doesn't eat meat!"  
  
Konoka winced. "Asuna, that's a vegetarian! Veterinarians are pet doctors."  
  
"Oh," replied Asuna. "Nope."  
  
Konoka looked down at the unconscious piglet she was holding. "Well we've got to do something."  
  
As Konoka affected a thoughtful look, Asuna took on a look that could be easily confused for one. Anyone who knew her, however, would see it for what it was. It was a Baka Ranger look. Grinning, Asuna grabbed the piglet. "I've got an idea!"  


0o0o0

  
Negi looked around the room, then at Naruto. It was clear that someone had smashed their way through the wall, but he didn't see anything missing. Which didn't actually mean all that much, since Naruto kept what little valuables he had out of sight.  
  
Drawing a kunai, he raised a hand to his mouth, placing a single finger in front of his mouth in the universal symbol of silence. When Naruto nodded, he began whispering. "They might still be here. Let's split up and search the place."  
  
Negi moved toward the kitchen while Naruto checked the bathroom. However, before he could enter it,a noise alerted him to someone's presence within. Quietly, Negi peeked around the corner. Only to find Naruto making instant ramen. "Wha... Naruto, what are you doing?" whispered Negi, causing Naruto to yelp in surprise.  
  
Spinning around, Naruto spotted Negi. "What are you doing here?" he asked in his normal voice. Which, in Negi's opinion, was far too loud for the situation.  
  
"Shhh!" shushed Negi. "What do you mean what am I doing here? I'm looking for the robber!"  
  
"What robber?" asked Naruto, again in his normal voice.  
  
"The one who wrecked the wall!" whisper-shouted Negi.  
  
"SOMEONE WRECKED MY WALL?!" regular-shouted Naruto, running for the living room. Negi followed, just in time to see Naruto stick his head out of the bathroom after Naruto.  
  
"$&@7! I've got to let the boss know!" yelled Naruto.  
  
"I already know!" exclaimed Naruto.  
  
"What's going on in-$&@7!" interjected another Naruto, who had just come in through the still-open front door.  
  
"I know," replied Naruto, thoroughly exasperated.   
  
"Hey guys, I think someone's been living here," said yet another Naruto from the other side of the hole in the wall.  
  
"What?!" said three Narutos.  
  
Negi pinched the bridge of his nose. The whole situation was beginning to give him a headache.  


0o0o0

  
At the local animal shelter, all was noisy. The dogs were barking, the cats were hissing, and the part-time worker was whining about one of the cats scratching her. So was it any wonder that they missed the noise of a piglet crashing into the front door.  


0o0o0

  
"That was your plan?! Throw it at the local animal shelter!?"  
  
"No," replied Asuna as she grabbed her friend, then abruptly took off running. "My plan is to throw it and run!"  
  
"Asuna!" wailed Konoka as her best friend dragged her away from the scene of the crime.  
  
Neither of them saw the piglet regain consciousness and begin to walk away. Only to look back at the building, realize where he was, and take off at top speed, bweeing in terror. Ryouga really didn't want to go through another neutering attempt.  


0o0o0

  
Sakura was the first to arrive at the command center. Not waiting for the other rangers, she turned to face the tube that contained the interdimensional being that directed their team.  
  
"Zordon, does Rita's magic work on humans?"  
  
"It does," replied Zordon. "She can both create monsters out of people and take control of their minds. However, a monster created from a person would not even be as powerful as a single morphed Power Ranger, and a human controlled by her magic would require constant effort to keep them under her control. Unless she channelled her magic through some sort of focus, she would be unable to maintain her control for more than a week. Furthermore, most ninja ranked higher than an academy student would be able to break her magic's hold on them just as they would a genjutsu. Why do you ask?"  
  
Just then, the other Power Rangers arrived in pink, yellow, blue, and black flashes of light. Looking back at them, Sakura turned back toward Zordon. "That's actually why I asked you to call everyone here. Jiraiya knows who we are."  


0o0o0

  
After running until he was absolutely certain he was nowhere near the animal shelter anymore (in reality, he was just around the corner from it), Ryouga began searching for a source of hot water. After a few minutes of searching, he came across an area filled with steam. Unfortunately, he couldn't make out much more than that, but steam usually meant hot water was somewhere, so Ryouga wandered on. And suddenly, he found himself submerged.  
  
Bursting from the surface of the water, now in human form, Ryouga looked around. Now that the world wasn't giant-sized from his point of view, he could tell that he was in some sort of hot spring. Spotting the wall, he realized that this was probably the local onsen. If he had been Saotome Ranma, or in Nerima, it would have been the girl's side of the onsen and he would just be noticing them now. But he wasn't, and the onsen was empty. So Ryouga transformed to conceal his nudity and left without getting caught.  


0o0o0

  
After dispelling the extra Narutos, Naruto and Negi had thoroughly explored the apartment on the other side of the hole. And as the Naruto clone had said, it did indeed appear that someone was living there. The room was furnished, and the kitchen contained food. However, the food consisted entirely of long lasting varieties. No perishables could be found. Nor, for that matter, could any valuables.  
  
"...Do you think someone broke into this apartment from your's?" asked Negi.  
  
"Yeah," replied Naruto. "We did."  
  
"I mean the robber," replied Negi.   
  
"No. The rubble is on the other side. They broke into my apartment from here."  
  
"...Then why are we here?" asked Negi.  
  
"Because I'm the only person that lives in this apartment. Or I thought I was, anyway," replied Naruto.  
  
"...Naruto, I live in this apartment," said Negi.  
  
"Um, right," replied Naruto quickly trying to think of a cover. And, failing at that, deciding to just bulldoze through. "But we're the only ones that live here."  
  
"Then whose room is this?" asked Negi.  
  
"That's what we're trying to find out."  
  
"I thought we were looking for the robber."  


0o0o0

  
Kurenai knew that she would not find her foe in the Forest of Death. He had fled; he was gone. So she had left the forest. Or she thought she had. There were still trees around, but those were all over Konoha. Besides, the forest didn't have practice targets in it. _Wait a minute..._  
  
In the distance, Kurenai could pick out a bright red umbrella sitting atop a large backpack. _Aha!_ Her enemy spotted, Kurenai took to the trees. A direct assault hadn't worked, so she would ambush him from above!  
  
Quietly, she leapt from tree to tree, slowly approaching her foe. Then, growing sick of waiting, she jumped as far as she could, kunai in hand. "HIBIKI RYOUGA! PREPARE TO DIE!" So much for her efforts at stealth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baka - Idiot
> 
> Onsen - a hot spring used for public bathing. Most are divided into male and female sides.
> 
> Nerima - a district in Tokyo. More relevantly, the location that most of Ranma 1/2 takes place in.


	19. Three Years Ago... I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryouga's first visit to Konoha.

 

**Three years ago...**

  
Ryouga was doing something rather unusual for him. He was reading a book. It wasn't that Ryouga was illiterate or uneducated. He had managed to keep up with his education, in spite of his sporadic attendance rate during his school years. His lifestyle just didn't often lead to him being in a store while in possession of money. And when he did have money with him, he usually had things of more immediate importance to spend it on than books. So while he had often wished he had something to read with him, he usually didn't. However, for the moment, he found himself in what appeared to be a library. And as such, he decided to take advantage of it.

 

0o0o0

  
Ryouga had either found the biggest library in the history of ever, or he was going in circles and just missing the entrance. Unfortunately, due to certain directional difficulties that he had possessed his entire life, he couldn't be certain that it wasn't just the latter. Nevertheless, he'd been stuck inside the library for almost six hours. That so far he'd only been in the fiction section seemed to lend evidence to the walking in circles theory.  
  
Every book he read seemed to be somehow related to ninjas. And while ninjas weren't fictional, these depictions of them definitely were. Real ninjas couldn't shoot fireballs or walk on water or call thunder from the sky the way these ninjas could. ...Right?  
  
Actually, now that he thought about it, between the things he'd seen done with ki and all the times he'd encountered magic, Ryouga wasn't so sure he could just dismiss everything the ninjas did in the books as fantasy. Could such esoteric techniques really be possible? Ryouga pulled another book from a shelf.

 

0o0o0

  
Ryouga grinned. He had finally found something from the medical section. Probably. The latest book he'd gotten a hold of contained detailed charts of the human body, charts that detailed pressure points and what it identified as "chakra systems". And while he had never heard anything about these chakra systems before, he recognized several of the points as places he'd mistaken for breaking points on the human body back when he'd first learned the Bakusai Tenketsu. Either this author had put more research into a work of fiction than he'd ever seen, or this was legitimate.  
  
Reading further, Ryouga ran into something he'd never encountered before: manipulating ki by sign language. At least, he thought it was sign language. He'd never actually managed to learn sign language, so he wasn't sure. Ryouga made a note to try to find a book on sign language after he finished reading this one. Surely nobody would miss a few books from a library this big.  
  
Oddly enough, the signs all seemed to be names of animals. Were they the only ones that worked? Or were these just the basic ones that everyone used? Ryouga continued reading.

 

0o0o0

  
TECHNIQUE LOCATED! Ryouga had managed to stumble across something called Henge. Apparently, it allowed one to temporarily transform ones body with ki. Or chakra, as the book insisted on calling it. Deciding to give it a try, Ryouga made a the hand signs and channeled his ki. With a puff of smoke, the technique took form!  
  
Ryouga looked around. He certainly didn't feel any different. He looked down at his hands and feet. They didn't look different either. Did he not do it right? Ryouga released the pressure he was applying with his ki, and a second puff of smoke occurred. Eagerly, Ryouga checked his hands again. Nothing this time either. Darn. Picking the book back up, Ryouga read further.  
  
Ah. He had to channel his ki while focusing on an image. Ryouga channeled his ki again, this time while thinking about Akari's farm.

 

0o0o0

  
Ryouga was running. Apparently, the reason that all the books were about ninjas was because he had stumbled into some sort of ninja library. And the ninjas didn't take a massive farm suddenly appearing in the middle of their library very well. Even if it did disappear a moment later. Ryouga took another look at the most recent group of ninjas to pursue him. He seemed to have lost them too. Which would have been heartening if yet another group hadn't spotted him and given chase.  
  
Oddly enough, all of them seemed to be younger than him. Maybe they just didn't live long? He would have to check to make sure that the techniques didn't stunt the lifespans of the users once he had a chance to sit down again

 

0o0o0

  
By the time Ryouga had escaped the ninjas chasing him, he wasn't sure where he was anymore. There were still bookshelves around, but they seemed to be floating in water. Fortunately, he'd managed to avoid falling in. It wouldn't due to lose his new reading material. It could be the key to defeating Ranma!

  
At that thought, Ryouga's mood soured. It had been almost a year since he'd last made his way back to Japan. And it had been even longer since he'd last seen Akari. Hopefully she'd forgive him for going missing for so long.  
  
Once again, Ryouga found himself cursing his terrible sense of direction. And, he thought as he narrowly avoided being splashed by a fish (a fish?) jumping out of the water below him, he hated his Jusenkyo curse. And that he could never defeat Ranma in a fight. And that he couldn't find it within himself to tell Akane the truth about P-Chan. And from there it spiraled into a general seething of self-loathing.  
  
Ryouga considered firing off a Perfect Shishi Hokodan, but decided against it. While he wasn't even sure he was inside the library anymore, the massively destructive, brightly glowing sphere of viridian ki would almost certainly draw more of those ninjas to him. And if they showed up, he wouldn't be able to read in peace.  
  
Right. The book. Ryouga looked around, then leapt to the most stable looking platform he could find. Opening the book, he sat down and began reading.

 

0o0o0

  
"Hey. Who are you?"  
  
Ryouga looked up from his studies. He had been... somewhere... for nearly a week. He was almost sure he wasn't in the library anymore. Libraries didn't have palm trees. Or dragons. During this time, he had learned no less than three ninja techniques and created one of his own based off of what he had learned. More importantly, he'd found mention of something that sounded incredibly useful for him in particular: the ability to teleport to a specific location. Granted, he hadn't heard anything more than mention of the technique, but if it was a real ability, he absolutely had to learn it. However, at the moment, someone was talking to him.  
  
"...Sorry, " replied Ryouga. "I haven't done this much reading in... well, ever." Sheepishly, he scratched the back of his head. "I'm Hibiki Ryouga. And you are?"  
  
"Ayase Yue, " replied the short purple haired girl. "What are you doing down here? You don't have a leaf forehead protector, and I'm fairly certain you're not a member of the Library Exploration Club."  
  
"The truth is that I'm a bit lost, " replied Ryouga.  
  
Yue rolled her eyes.  "Sir, you're more than 'a bit lost' if you managed to work your way all the way down here, " she replied flatly. "Civilians aren't supposed to be down here. Next time you find yourself wondering where you are, ask for help."  
  
"Sorry, " mumbled Ryouga.  
  
"Right. Follow me, " said Yue, as she walked to the edge of the platform. "I'll lead you back to the entrance." At that, she hopped down into the knee high water below. "Hope you don't mind getting a little wet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bakusai Tenketsu - Breaking Point: A technique Ryouga learned from the Amazon Elder Cologne. This technique allows the user to detonate inorganic matter by delivering a ki-infused tap to a weak point in it. The training for the technique involves repeatedly slamming the victim learning the technique against large boulders while completely bound except for a single arm. This training teaches the victim to spot the "breaking points" in matter, and more importantly, physically toughens their body to the point of iron-like durability, allowing the user to withstand the blasts at point blank range without being harmed.
> 
> Shishi Hokodan - Lion's Roar Shot: A generic ki blast technique that draws power from negative emotions such as anger, loathing, and especially sadness. By focusing on heavy, negative emotions, one can create a dense ki blast, which can turn around a fight or give one the power to save one's life in a life-threatening situation. It was originally developed by miners to break free of cave-ins using the panic and misery of being trapped underground for the rest of their life to give them a chance to blast themselves free. Ryouga in particular has mastered this technique to an alarming extent, even developing a super version of the technique known as the Perfect Shishi Hokodan.


	20. Three Years Ago... II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayase Yue leads the probably missing-nin infiltrator Ryouga Hibiki into a trap.

**Three Years Ago... II**

 

Ryouga suppressed a groan. Once again, he was in a situation that required that he do something awkward to cover up that he was trying to avoid coming into contact with water that would inevitably be cold enough to activate his curse. He quickly glanced around the room, looking for an excuse.  
  
 _There! That might work._ “Actually, if it's all the same to you, I'd rather stay dry, ” Ryouga replied to his temporary guide to the library entrance, Ayase Yue, as he launched himself to the top of one of the nearby bookshelves. One of the very tall nearby bookshelves.  
  
The girl gave him a flat look in response before digging into a small pack she had strapped to her. “You know, you could have mentioned that you were a ninja before I jumped into the water, ” she grumbled. “And why aren't you wearing your forehead protector?”  
  
“I'm not a ninja, ” replied Ryouga, wondering why a forehead protector would be associated with ninjas. “And you don't have a forehead protector either.”  
  
“That's because I'm not a ninja, ” the short girl replied bluntly. “If you're not a ninja, then how'd you manage that jump?” As Yue spoke, she withdrew a grappling hook from her pack and tossed the end to the top of the bookshelf (it was a very tall bookshelf).  
  
“Training, ” Ryouga replied smoothly.  
  
“And you haven't... passed your graduation test, ...yet?” asked Yue between grunts of exertion as she climbed.  
“...My graduation test?” Ryouga repeated dumbly.  
  
“Well... you're obviously... training to be a ninja, ” grunted Yue as she neared the top of the shelf.  
  
“No I'm not, ” replied Ryouga.  
  
“Then what... are you training to be?” asked Yue, swinging herself to the top of the shelf, before she bent down to retrieve the hook.  
  
Ryouga took on an arrogant grin.  “Better than Ranma, ” he replied.  
  
Yue stared at him with a flat expression for a moment. “...Alright. Let's just get moving.” Turning, she hopped to the adjacent bookshelf. Ryouga followed. He failed to notice her slipping her hand into her pocket.  


0o0o0

  
Nodoka started as a series of beeps were emitted by a device in her pocket. As one of the members of the Konoha's Library Expedition Club, it was her duty to always be prepared to help in any situation that should arise within the library. As such, she, like most other active members of the club, had been outfitted with one of the most high-tech communications devices available: a pager.  
  
Withdrawing the device from her pocket, Nodoka read the message scrolling across the screen. It was a message from Yue addressed to everyone in the club. Her friend had apparently encountered a man that she suspected of being an enemy ninja infiltrating the library. She intended to lead the man in a roundabout path to the library entrance in order to buy time. However, until Anbu arrived, she needed the Library Expedition Club to guard the exits from the library in case the man caught onto her plan and made a run for it. Nodoka stared at the beeper for a moment, before shakily pocketing it and heading toward the nearest entrance.  


0o0o0

  
Roughly an hour and a half later, Ayase Yue and Hibiki Ryouga arrived at the top floor of the library. “Here we are, ” said the girl as calmly as she could, pointing to a large door. “That's the exit.” Despite her attempts to hide her nervousness, she felt a bead of sweat run down the back of her neck.  
  
“Thanks, ” replied Ryouga, before turning and heading in a completely different direction.  
  
“HEY!” she snapped, drawing his attention back to her. Yue barely managed to suppress a shudder. During her trip through the library, Hibiki (if that was actually his name) had tried to wander off several times. After the first time he had nearly escaped her notice, the young Library Expedition Club member had started keeping a closer eye on the potential infiltrator. Despite his apparent intent to slip away, Hibiki had always returned to her side when she noticed his escape attempt, only to try again a few moments later. As the duo had gotten closer to the top, Yue had grown more and more on edge. Hibiki's escape attempts had not changed in frequency, but he had to know she was onto him by now. Which meant that he would be making a serious escape attempt any moment now. And judging by the various feats of strength and agility he had demonstrated on his way up, he would almost certainly be able to break through whatever defenses the Library Expedition Club could mount. Yue herself would pose about as much of a threat to him as a blade of grass. Nevertheless, she continued to play her part. “You're going the wrong way.”  
  
“Oh, sorry, ” replied Ryouga, as he turned around, only to go the wrong way yet again. One thing was certain. This man was definitely a professional. The entire time she had been with him, his facade of being a lost idiot civilian hadn't slipped in the slightest. This man was clearly a master of deceit and subterfuge. Or maybe he just knew how futile any attempts by her and the rest of the club might make to stop him would be. If it came to a fight, she and the rest of the club would likely be reduced to so many red smears across the library. Apprehending him would all come down to Anbu. But until they could intervene, she had to maintain her act.  
  
“Look, just follow-” Yue started to say, before suddenly being interrupted.  
  
“Excuse me, ” said a rather generic looking man wearing an official-looking uniform with the words 'Library Staff' written across the shirt of it in large letters. “We are conducting a poll on the services of our library. Would you mind coming with me for a moment?”  
  
“Sure, ” Ryouga casually replied. And just like that, the extremely dangerous probably jounin level ninja infiltrator was escorted out of the library by Anbu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anbu: A type of ninja separate from the other ranks. Anbu are assigned missions that are more morally questionable than those assigned to Konoha's normal forces. And when Konoha's normal forces regularly accept assassination missions, that's saying something. Anbu are also used to capture rogue ninja that infiltrate Konoha.


	21. Three Years Ago... III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chained to a table. Hypnotized. Guarded by elite ninja. Burdened by paperwork. Completely unaware that he was captured to begin with. These are the continuing exploits of Hibiki Ryouga, Unintentional Escape Artist!

**Three Years Ago... III**

 

“He seems to be completely clueless, ” reported Ibiki. “If he is a spy, he has either had his mind altered to match his cover persona, or he is completely immune to genjutsu and playing stupid.”

  
Since his capture by Konoha's Anbu, Hibiki Ryouga had been placed under a plethora of genjutsu. The first had been placed on him in the library to make him more cooperative. It had been used to facilitate the capture. The second had also been placed on him while inside Library Island. It had been used to convince him that he was still in the library while he was led to the nearest interrogation chamber. A third had been placed on him after his arrival at the interrogation room to remove any suspicions he might have toward the contents of the questionnaire he had been given. Specifically, questions inquiring toward his country of origin, his plans in Konoha, who he was working for, what his combat specialties were, what weaknesses he possessed, and various other questions that might seem out of place on a poll regarding a library's quality of service. Questions that, of course, would be useless on an actual spy were it not for a fourth genjutsu forcing him to tell the truth.  
  
Since he was apprehended, Hibiki Ryouga had been kept under constant surveillance by two Hyuuga clan members, who were present just outside the room he was being kept in to raise the alarm in case he tried to escape. However, they were also monitoring the status of the genjutsu placed upon him. According to them, Hibiki hadn't broken any of them. And if he was just a civilian, that would have been fine.  
  
The problem was, the Hyuuga monitoring him had also confirmed that his chakra network was far too developed for a civilian. It seemed that Hibiki Ryouga had been using chakra for several years. More importantly, he possessed an extremely large reservoir of chakra. More than most jounin. Based off of that alone, Ibiki had him pegged as an A-Class ninja at the very least. You didn't obtain chakra reserves that large overnight. So why hadn't he broken the genjutsu yet?  
Unfortunately, despite his apparent failure to even detect the genjutsu he was under, Hibiki's answers had ranged from useless to nonsensical. He claimed to be from a fictional country called Japan, that he “thought Konoha was a pretty good library”, that he wanted to beat someone named Ranma (which was followed by numerous plans involving fictional jutsu that almost all boiled down to “hit him until he's unconscious”, but contained no actual explanation as to who Ranma was), and that he turned into a little black piglet when splashed with cold water. Obviously, something fishy was going on. And Ibiki stated as much in his report.  
  
“Hmm...” mumbled Jiraiya, the current Hokage. If he'd had a Yamanaka clan member on hand, he could have had them read the mind of this joker to find out just what he was up to. Unfortunately, with the exception of the academy student Yamanaka Ino and a few retired members, the ninja of the Yamanaka clan had all been sent on spying and espionage missions. None of them could be summoned back within the day. It was a management oversight that he would have to ensure didn't happen again during his reign.  
  
Jiraiya rubbed his chin in thought. He supposed he could just have Ibiki torture the information out of him. But if this Ryouga turned out not to be hostile after all, he almost certainly would be after being left to the mercies of Konoha's lead torture specialist. And in the event that he got free, an A-Class ninja could do quite a bit of damage, even if he focused only on escaping. Making him actively hostile could backfire spectacularly. No, torturing a known enemy was one thing. Torturing someone for acting like an idiot was another.  
  
For the moment, however, there was nothing to do but lock the suspected spy away, put him in a medicated coma, send a message for the nearest active member of the Yamanaka clan, and await their return. Something about the situation was giving him a bad feeling. He gave the order anyway.  


0o0o0

  
Ryouga moved onto the next page of the poll. This sure was a long survey. But he had filled out longer ones before. Or he thought he had, anyway. Maybe. Actually, he wasn't sure he had. But this was probably the last page. Hopefully. Nature was calling, but he could hold it in for a few more minutes. Which would probably be long enough to finish the poll. And so, Ryouga kept writing.  


0o0o0

  
Kurenai was nervous. She was one of three ninja keeping the prisoner under the suppressing influence of genjutsu. And she was terrified. She had overheard one of the guards mention that he might be an A-Class missing-nin. Being the sole toukubetsu jounin in a room full of Anbu, Kurenai was understandably worried about the prospect of him escaping. With each passing moment, the likelihood of him noticing the various genjutsu he was under the thrall of increased. Any moment now, he would suddenly jump up, having subtly undone the various restraints he was under, and then he would kill everyone in the room. The Hyuuga posted outside the room were there explicitly to call for backup before he could kill them too. If this man really was an A-Class missing-nin, by the time reinforcements arrived, it would be too late for everyone in the room.  
  
And yet, somehow this terrifying A-Class missing-nin continued to fail to notice the genjutsu he was under. So far, he had filled out several dozen of pages of useless information on the persona he was going by. And yet he still kept writing. It had gotten to the point that Anbu had started feeding him actual survey forms on the library. How was he not noticing anything yet?  
  
Suddenly, a horrifying sound jarred Kurenai back to reality. The sound of metal tearing. The A-Class missing-nin prisoner had just stood up, tearing loose from his restraints. Hibiki Ryouga had _not_ undone his restraints. He had ripped through the metal. Worse, it looked like it had taken literally no more effort on his part than it did to stand up normally. Kurenai went for a kunai. She knew the Hyuuga outside were already reporting his escape, but she knew everyone in the room was about to die.  
  
Hibiki turned to her.  Kurenai began shaking uncontrollably.  And Hibiki spoke. Except instead of the threatening tone Kurenai had been expecting, it was in a rather sheepish one. “Excuse me, but could any of you show me where the bathroom is? This survey is kind of long, and I need to pee.”

  
Everyone in the room froze. Kurenai almost dropped her kunai. Somehow, the genjutsu hadn't failed. The A-Class missing-nin who could have killed everybody in the room was still under the hypnotic influence of four different genjutsu. For a moment, nobody moved. And then one of the Anbu members fled the room while another walked up to Hibiki. “Very well. We have kept you here for a while. Follow me.”

  
The Anbu member proceeded to lead the man out of the room. And every other ninja in the room followed.  


0o0o0

  
Fortunately, the first Anbu to leave the room informed the Hyuuga outside of what had happened in time to call off the attack by the reinforcements they had called. There was no battle against an A-Class missing-nin trying to break out of interrogation. Instead, what followed was one of the most awkward moments Kurenai had had on a mission as she maintained multiple genjutsu while the target of them did his business in the men's room. Nevertheless, Kurenai was relieved. They weren't about to be violently murdered. Yet, anyways.  
  
Roughly two minutes after he entered the bathroom, the pair of Hyuugas began looking confused. Confusion which abruptly gave way to panic. One of them kicked open the door, and all the Anbu ran inside. They'd been had. Somehow, despite being in a completely enclosed area with no way out other than the door he'd entered from, under the influence of four different genjutsu, and under the watch of two Hyuuga, Hibiki Ryouga had escaped unnoticed.  
  
It was at that point a pair of chuunin arrived, informing the group of the Hokage's order to sedate the prisoner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Genjutsu: techniques that alter the target's mind by injecting chakra into their brain; it can be used for something as simple as casting an illusion to as complex as directly controlling the target's mind.
> 
> Yamanaka Clan: a Konoha ninja clan infamous for their secret techniques, which grant them the ability to read, control, and alter the minds of other people.
> 
> Hyuuga Clan: a Konoha ninja clan infamous for their special eyes, the Byakugan, which allow them to see through solid objects, see in all directions at once (except for a small spot directly behind them), and see chakra.
> 
> Toukubetsu jounin - a ninja rank between chuunin and jounin. When a chuunin is recognized as possessing jounin level skill in one area, they are granted the rank of toukubetsu jounin.


	22. Meanwhile, Back at the Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Ryouga streaks through Konoha, Kurenai battles sleep deprivation, Sakura battles an imaginary concussion, Negi tries to keep up with Naruto, Naruto finds himself living the nightmare, and Naruto eats his last meal at Ichiraku Ramen. Ever. And it's not even the real him that eats it, it's a clone. But seriously, Naruto will never, ever eat at Ichiraku Ramen in this fic again.

 

**Meanwhile, Back At The Present**

  
With a thud, Kurenai landed on her target. Not giving him time to react, the kunoichi quickly sank her kunai into him. She was treated to the sound of tearing fabric. Immediately, she repeated the process. Stab. And again. Stab. And again and again and again and again and again. Stab stab stab stab stab. _DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!_  
  
Several dozen stabs later, it occurred to Kurenai that something was wrong. Pausing in her stabbing, she examined her kunai. _There's no blood? Why isn't there any blood? He should be bleeding. I am stabbing him. That should be making him bleed. Why isn’t he bleeding?_ Kurenai resumed stabbing in a more and more frenzied manner. WHERE IS HIS BLOOD?!  
  
She abruptly jumped back. Taking a moment to rest, Kurenai surveyed the damage she had inflicted in an attempt to determine why Ryouga wasn't bleeding. On the ground lay a horribly torn up backpack and a pile of shredded clothes. Ryouga himself was nowhere in sight. Panicking, the kunoichi took in her surroundings. _Where is he? Did he get away? Maybe... kawarimi?_ Kurenai couldn't see him anywhere. Had she walked into a trap? Was the backpack and clothing a decoy to distract her while the real Ryouga prepared to ambush her? Kurenai spun around a few times, searching for her enemy. Somehow he continued to elude her. There was something she was supposed to do in this situation, but her sleep deprived mind couldn't remember what it was. It was like a fog was clouding her mind. Abruptly then it came to her. _Oh, right. Hide. I should hide._ Suppressing her presence (or trying to, anyways), Kurenai jumped into the nearest tree, then transformed into a branch. And waited for her foe to reveal himself. She would be waiting a long time.

 

0o0o0

  
Ryouga streaked through Konoha, in more ways than one. He was naked, but hiding it with the use of a henge. Which would hold up until he ran into a ninja ranked higher than a genin that was paying more than the bare minimum amount of attention to their surroundings. Or a Hyuuga using the Byakugan. Or had his concentration was disrupted. And he was inside a hidden village full of ninjas and potential distractions. With a grunt of frustration, he increased his pace. If he could just make it to the Hokage Tower, he'd be able to look around until he found his apartment, then shunshin to it in one go.  
  
It was never meant to be. Anbu picked up on the naked ninja almost immediately. Except they didn't see a streaking ninja desperately rushing to get to the Hokage Tower so he could find his apartment. What they saw was a ninja henge'd into a jounin of Konoha running through the village at a high speed straight toward the Hokage. Again.  
  
This was not the first time this had happened. Enemy ninja were usually more subtle than this, but every once in a while, some idiot would get the idea to just henge themselves, make a beeline to their target, do whatever they came for, then try to get out before they were noticed. _Although,_ thought the leader of the squad, _if it's just Ryouga streaking again, he's going to be spending another night in the Konoha prison._  
  
And so, the chase was on.

 

0o0o0

  
Meanwhile, at the secret base of the Power Rangers known as the Command Center, the aforementioned costumed heroes had all gathered together. Sakura, the Red Ranger, had had Zordon call them so that she could share news of grave importance. “Jiraiya, the Hokage, knows who we are, ” she repeated, just in case any readers forgot what she had called them together for over the past three chapters and however many months it's been since this scene was last addressed.  
  
Suddenly, Sakura looked at the alarm at the side of the Command Center. It continued to do nothing. “...Sorry, it's just that that usually goes off around now.”  
  
“Maybe Rita's sick, ” suggested Kiba.  
  
“Can alien witches even get sick?” asked Ino.

 

0o0o0

  
Deep within the bowels of her secret underground base (which was not on the moon), Rita Repulsa, evil extraterrestrial witch working for the intergalactic warlord Lord Zedd (although we aren't supposed to know that last part yet), was feeling sick. Not in the usual manner caused by her general disgust toward the world she had been sent to conquer, but in the 'I'm sweating, cold, dizzy, and feel like I'm about to vomit' manner. And she was not willing to suffer in silence.  
  
“I FEEL SICK, ” she wailed from her bedroom, her voice sounding more ragged than usual. “FINSTER! GET ME SOME MEDICINE!”  
  
“Yes, my queen, ” replied Finster, Rita's most competent minion.  
  
“AND SOME SOUP!” added the bed-ridden witch.  
  
“Right away, my queen, ” answered Finster.  
  
“AND TELL THOSE IDIOTS SQUAT AND BABOO TO STAY IN THE BASE!” Rita yelled. “I DON'T WANT THEM STARTING ANY MORONIC SCHEMES ON THEIR OWN! REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME!”  
  
“Of course, my queen, ” stated Finster. “I'll get right on that.”  
  
“YOU'D BETTER!” threatened Rita.

 

0o0o0

  
“Yes, ” replied Zordon, back at the Command Center. “But there are more important things to think about. Sakura, how is it that you came to this conclusion?”  
  
“Jiraiya told me himself, ” she replied. “He identified me as the Red Ranger while I wasn't morphed, and he said he knew who the rest of us are. He even knew about Rita.”  
  
“Hmm...” pondered Zordon. “Did he identify the other rangers by name?”  
  
“…No, actually, ” replied Sakura, sounding thoughtful.  
  
“Perhaps he is pretending to know more than he does, ” said Zordon. “It is a common interrogation tactic to fish for information by making it seem as if one already knows what they wish to learn. Sakura, in future dealings with your Hokage, you must be very careful not to give anything else away. And the rest of you must be more vigilant than ever in keeping your identities secret.”  
  
“What if the Hokage actually does know all of our identities?” asked Tenten.  
  
“Then we will have to find out what he intends to do with that knowledge.” A tense silence filled the Command Center.  
  
Sakura looked at the alarm again. It still didn't do anything. The silence stretched on, and shifted from tense to awkward. “...I guess that's everything. Bye guys. See you tonight at training.” At that, Sakura pressed a button on her communicator and vanished in a flash of red light.

 

0o0o0

  
“Sakura! You are my one true love!” announced Lee, giving the pink haired girl a thumbs up and a smile. “I promise to protect you for all of my life! Please go on a date with me!” he requested with a wink.  
  
“Yes!” cried Sakura, blushing. “I've been waiting for you to ask since the day I met you! I love you too, Lee!”  
  
“AAAAAUUUUUGH!” screamed Naruto, abruptly rolling off the park bench where he had fallen asleep, disrupting everyone in the park. His cry of anguish was interrupted as he burst into a puff of smoke upon impact with the ground.

 

0o0o0

  
Naruto dropped the plate he'd been holding. Despite the rules of drama, it did not shatter upon hitting the floor. Nor did it crack. This probably had something to do with it being made of tin.  
  
The dimensionally-displaced time-traveling genin's eyes were wide with shock as the memories of a disgruntled clone filtered in.  
  
“Naruto?” asked Negi, concerned by his friend's pale pallor, horrified stare, and abrupt loss of hand-eye coordination. “Are you okay?”  
  
Naruto failed to reply. Instead, he slowly walked forward in a daze. And then abruptly took off toward the front door, opened it, and bolted outside.  
  
“Wait!” yelled Negi as he took off after his troubled friend. “Where are you going?” Neither of them bothered to shut the door to Ryouga's apartment.

 

0o0o0

  
In a flash of red light, Sakura burst into view just outside Negi's apartment. If she recalled correctly, Negi and Naruto lived in the same apartment complex. Naruto had said something about being robbed, so the two of them were probably over at Naruto's room checking to see what had been stolen. So if she just wandered around peeking into windows, she'd probably find them.  
  
Come to think of it, leaving her teammate to deal with what was probably a personal crisis had been kind of cold on her part. Especially since she was trying to be more respectful toward Naruto. If he was going to be watching her back on future missions, she didn't want to make an enemy of him. Even if he was annoying as hell. And stupid. And obsessed with her to a frustrating degree. And wore the ugliest shade of orange she had ever seen.  
  
Sakura smirked. Thank goodness there hadn't been an orange power coin. The thought of Kiba or Yahiko in that shade of orange sent shivers down her spine. It would almost be like having to deal with a second Naruto. Especially if either of them had started color coordinating with it like most of her other teammates had started doing. (She didn't count. She had liked wearing red before she became the Red Ranger.)  
  
Suddenly, Sakura was hit by a door as it slammed open. Her yelp of pain was drowned out by a shout of anguish. “NOOOOO!” Wailed Naruto, as he leapt out of the room, over the edge of the balcony, and dove down to the streets below. “YOU CAN'T LIKE HIM THAT WAY! HOW THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO COMPETE WITH THAT?!”  
  
Sitting up, Sakura stared from the other side of the door as Naruto quickly began to disappear into the distance, only to be slammed by the door again as a second person ran out of the room.  
  
“NARUTO, WAIT!” yelled Negi, jumping off the balcony after him. Sakura stared from her place on the ground as Negi positioned his staff underneath him in midair, then flew after him for almost a block before dropping to the ground.  
  
 _...Yep, I think I've got a concussion,_ Sakura concluded. She decided to just lay there for a few more moments while waiting for her head to stop throbbing.

 

0o0o0

  
Kurenai continued watching her surroundings, waiting for her foe to show his face. Eventually, he would make a mistake. And then he would be hers. She would take her kunai and plunge it into him again and again, until he could no longer stand. She would reduce him to the consistency of chunky salsa. Only then would her honor be restored. Or something.  
  
A strong breeze blew, and Kurenai stiffened at the sound of something shifting. Somewhere, something had moved. Was it Ryouga?  
  
She scanned the surrounding area with her eyes. _There! On the ground. What's that?_ Near the backpack, a carefully folded piece of paper had appeared. Normally, Kurenai would have stayed in the tree and continued to assess the situation. If she had, she probably would have realized that the paper had been blown out of one of the numerous holes lining the pack. In her sleep deprived state, she did not.  
  
Jumping down, Kurenai, still transformed into a branch, ran over to the paper. Picking it up, she looked it over. It seemed to be ...folded. But not into anything she recognized. It was the strangest instance of origami she had ever seen. What could it mean?

 

0o0o0

  
Ryouga looked back. He could have sworn he'd spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. However, nothing was there anymore.  
  
Naruto stepped out of a store, only for Ryouga, still looking back, to plow into him. He immediately burst into a puff of smoke, forcibly dispelled by the unintentional collision. Coughing, Ryouga kept running. But it was too late. He had momentarily lost eye contact with the Hokage Tower.

 

0o0o0

  
The squad of Anbu following the ninja henged into Hibiki Ryouga from the shadows picked up on the burst of smoke. The target had just used an unknown jutsu. However, nothing had seemed to happen. Which raised all kinds of warning flags.  
  
Immediately, the Anbu checked for signs of genjutsu. Half the group split off, looking for any sign that he had replaced himself with a clone of some sort. The rest stayed on the ninja's trail as he suddenly veered to the left.

 

0o0o0

  
“Okay, so here's the plan, ” said Naruto. “You wait in this bush until you see Lee start approaching, then jump out and say 'Looks like I'm the winner.' Then you accept the money, and we go eat at Ichiraku's.”  
  
“This seems like a really mean way to get money for ramen, ” commented Naruto. “And what if he figures it out?”  
  
“That's the beauty of it, ” replied Naruto. “We're clones! If he does figure it out, we just poof out of existence. Lee gets to keep his money, and we don't suffer any consequences!”  
  
“Hmm, ” replied Naruto as he tried to think of any problems with the plan. “...You're right! Okay, let's do this!” With that, he jumped into the bushes.  
  
Naruto spun around. Now all he had to do was find Lee and he'd have some money for ramen.

 

0o0o0

  
Kurenai couldn't figure out what kind of origami the paper was supposed to be folded into. It looked almost like it was just a folded piece of paper. Confused, the severely sleep deprived kunoichi began unfolding the paper. And gasped. It was a letter!  
  
For several moments, she struggled with deciphering it. Clearly it was coded. She wasn't so tired that she couldn't read simple Japanese, was she? (She was.)  
  
Eventually, she came to a conclusion. This letter was some sort of challenge from her enemy. He was clearly mocking her assassination attempt! And her! He didn't even spell her name right!  
  
Had Kurenai been in her right mind, she would have realized that he hadn't been spelling her name at all. But she wasn't. And so, she decided that if he was going to mock her, than she would mock him back!

 

0o0o0

  
Ryouga wasn't sure where he was, but he didn't think it was Konoha. On one hand, the obvious desert landscape and heat made unintentionally stepping in cold water barefoot unlikely. On the other, he didn't think there were any deserts in Fire Country. So either he was further outside of Konoha than he realized, or someone had remodeled the surrounding area using powerful ninjutsu. ...Or he just was misremembering the surrounding area. Unfortunately, all of the options were frustratingly likely.  
  
Ryouga silently cursed his luck. He didn't see the Hokage Monument or the Hokage Tower anywhere, so he had nowhere to direct himself to. Which meant that his best bet of getting back to Konoha was the Hiraishin no Jutsu. Which had been sabotaged.  
  
After a moment, he decided to risk it. Hopefully the copies of his mark were all within Konoha. If they weren't, it was fairly likely that he'd be stuck outside the village for days. But that wasn't any different than his current situation anyway. With a grunt of frustration, Ryouga began flashing through handseals.

 

0o0o0

  
Half a squad of Konoha's elite ninja known as the Anbu were lost. Nobody wanted to admit it, but in the process of chasing what was almost certainly Ryouga streaking (again), they had lost track of where they were. Somehow they ended up in a desert in what may or may not have been Wind Country. And it was all Ryouga's fault.  
  
Currently, the target of their ire was running through handseals. Hopefully he was performing some sort of navigation technique that would allow him to find his way back to the village. Assuming that was actually what he was doing, Anbu could tail him back, then confront him once they were back in Konoha.  
  
And then the ninja that was probably Ryouga vanished in a flash of light. Leaving half of an Anbu squad abandoned in a desert. Immediately, they tried to break whatever genjutsu they were under. Nothing. Clearly, they had lost track of their target. And their village. Groaning, the squad leader began running through the seals for the summoning technique. He needed to inform the rest of Anbu of their absence.

 

0o0o0

  
In a flash of light, Ryouga appeared in the middle of a Ramen stand. _...Wait. I know this place._  
  
“Ryouga-sensei?!” exclaimed a surprised Naruto.  
  
“Naruto?” replied Ryouga.  
  
“And I'm Teuchi, the owner of this fine establishment!” interjected Ichiraku Teuchi, the aforementioned owner of Ichiraku Ramen. “Now that we all know each other, would you like to order some ramen?”  
  
While Ryouga gave the ramen stand owner a flat look, Naruto stared at Ryouga. “How'd you do that?” the not-really-12-year-old asked.  
  
“Nevermind that, ” replied Ryouga, brushing off his student's question. “We need to find your teammates immediately. Do you know where they are?”  
  
“Beats me, ” grunted Naruto, turning back to his food. “Weren't you supposed to be training them today?”  
  
Ryouga stared at his student. That had sounded like sarcasm. Apparently, Naruto wasn't particularly happy about being ditched earlier. “Look, I promise I'll make it up to you all tomorrow, but for now, we need to find your teammates immediately.”  
  
Naruto looked back up from his ramen, confusion written across his face. “Uh... Make what up?”  
  
Ryouga returned an equally confused look. And then realization hit. “You're not the real Naruto, are you?”  
  
“Nope, ” replied Naruto, taking another slurp from his ramen. “I'm a bunshin.” Naruto glanced at Teuchi, then quickly added, “But I've got real money on me, so don't worry about me not paying for my meal.”  
  
Ryouga suppressed a groan. “I don't suppose you know where the real you is?”  
  
“Nope, ” replied Naruto. “But I can get him to come here. Hold on a second.” Naruto slapped down payment for the meal onto the counter, then lifted his bowl to his mouth. In seconds, it was empty. Sighing, he placed it onto the counter, patted his stomach, and made a handseal.  
  
And Naruto disappeared in a puff of smoke, followed by a splat. As the smoke cleared, a pile of partially digested ramen was revealed in it's place.  
  
“Huh, ” commented Teuchi. “So that's what happens when a shadow clone eats before dispelling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kunoichi: originally, the term meant a ninja specializing in seduction. However, the Naruto manga and anime bastardized the term into meaning "female ninja". So if you see the word "kunoichi" being thrown around in a Naruto related work, expect it to mean "female ninja".
> 
> Kawarimi no Jutsu - substitution technique: a ninja technique that involves escaping and leaving a decoy in one's place, usually by switching places with a nearby object or person.
> 
> Henge no Jutsu - transformation technique: a ninja technique that involves using chakra to disguise oneself.


	23. Quick Negi!  To the Ramen Stand!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negi theorizes that too many clones at once is bad for Naruto, Naruto demonstrates that he's right, and the two of them set off for their last visit ever to Ichiraku Ramen. Seriously, that place is doomed. Also, Naruto clones bother everyone.

**Quick, Negi!  To the Ramen Stand!**

 

“U-um... U-Uzumaki... w-what are y-you d-doing here?”  
  
Naruto looked up from the history book he'd been reading. So far, this world didn't seem too different from the one he originated from. And even then, most of the differences were recent. Really recent. As in 'since the Kyuubi attack' recent. Or at least he thought they were. Sure, he'd never heard of this Nagi Springfield character and Ala Rubra before, but then again, he'd never really paid much attention to his history lessons while in the academy. And afterward he'd never needed to know anything that didn't directly relate to Konoha. The only reason he'd even taken note of this Nagi guy was because he initially misread his name as 'Negi Springfield.' Still for the most part, everything seemed to be almost the same up until the Kyuubi attacked. Which was about where he was when he'd been interrupted.  
  
Looking up, Naruto caught sight of a dark blue-haired girl with short hair, a stutter, and hands hovering in front of her, as if unsure of what to do with them. “Hey Hinata!” he greeted, ignoring her stuttered question.  
  
The girl's look of nervousness shifted to a look of confusion. “Uh... I-I'm n-not...”  
  
“What are you doing here?” Naruto interrupted.  
  
“I-I'm p-part of t-the...” started the girl.  
  
Pausing, Naruto took a moment to look her over. Something about her seemed off. It had been quite a while since he'd seen Hinata at this age, but he didn't remember her towering over him quite this much. Or maybe that was just his mind playing tricks on him now that he was used to not being shorter than everyone else anymore. _I really hate being short._ As he examined her, Naruto's eyes stopped at the girl's collarbones. _Wait a minute!_ Naruto gasped. “Hinata! You're missing your forehead protector!” he interrupted again. “You didn't pass!”  
  
“...” The girl stared at him, looking even more confused than before. Then her eyes went up to his forehead protector.  
  
Naruto mentally berated himself. _Good job, stupid. The me from this world would already know that!_ “I mean, uh...” Naruto trailed off. The girl continued staring as an awkward silence permeated the library. “I'm gonna go check out this book!” Naruto abruptly announced, changing the topic with all the subtlety of a bulldozer. He then spun around and took off toward the front desk.  
  
Miyazaki Nodoka stared on in confusion. Who the heck was Hinata? “W-wait! Y-you're n-not supposed t-to run in...” She trailed off as Naruto disappeared from sight.  


After a moment, she withdrew a pager from her pocket.  The rest of the Library Expedition Club needed to know about this.  Permitted or not, Naruto was the one behind the most recent fire in Library Island history.  And the book eating incident.  And the bookshelf domino incident.  And the re-rediscovery of the Necronomicon.  And the dragon attack.  And the... Why was becoming a genin sufficient reason to allow him back into the library again?

0o0o0

  
Naruto abruptly skidded to a stop as memories from a clone filtered into his head, nearly causing Negi to plow into him. At the last second, however, Negi swerved away, sliding to a stop of his own.  
  
“AHA!” exclaimed Naruto triumphantly. “So that's where it was!”  
  
If this were a visual medium, Negi would have sweatdropped. Since it isn't, he just felt somewhat embarrassed by his friend's increasingly erratic behavior. “...Naruto, are you feeling alright?”  
  
Naruto turned to him, a serious look on his face. “Negi, do you know where Sakura is?”  
  
“What?” responded Negi, confusion beating down his embarrassment. “No, I've been with you since we left the training field.”  
  
“Oh, right. Guess I'll send out some clones to go find her!” With a quick handseal, Naruto matched word to deed, and another dozen clones burst into existence. He then spun on his heel and ran face-first into a telephone pole. Again, were this a visual medium, Negi would have sweatdropped. But it isn't. So instead, the small boy felt embarrassed by his friend's behavior. And worried.  
  
Negi had noticed that Naruto had been acting strange for the past few days, but today was a completely new magnitude of erratic behavior. Which probably had something to do with the numerous clones he'd been making and obtaining the memories of, now that he thought of it. “Naruto, are you okay?”  
  
“Yes, ” replied Naruto automatically as he pulled his face off the pole, before taking a moment to consider the question as he wiped the blood now leaking from his nose with his jacket sleeve. “No. Um. Kind of. Anyways, Ryouga's looking for me.” Naruto paused, missing Negi's eyes widening in shock. “And you. And Sakura. Us. Team Five. He's looking for Team Five.”  
  
 _That's impossible! Ryouga was transformed into an ermine for exposing the existence of magic!_ Negi looked at his older teammate. “Naruto, did a clone just dispel?”  
  
“Yes, ” replied Naruto. “I told you how it works earlier, remember?” said Naruto, a finger raised in lecture position. Which was rather unusual for Naruto, a fact that didn't escape Negi. Naruto paused. “...Wait, I did tell you how it works earlier, right?”  
  
“Yes, ” confirmed Negi. “You explained that whenever your shadow clones dispel, either by force or by choice, you inherit the memories of everything that occurred to them during the duration of the jutsu.”  
  
“So why'd you ask if you-” Naruto abruptly cut off, stiffening. “Well, looks like it was a good thing they were clones after all.”  
  
“Another clone just dispelled, didn't it, ” said Negi flatly. At Naruto's nod, Negi added another check to his 'clones are affecting Naruto's mind' theory. “Naruto, I think you should dispel some of your clones. You've been acting rather erratic lately.”  
  
Naruto stared at Negi blankly.  
  
“Deviating from your usual behavior, ” Negi explained.  
  
“Ah, ” Naruto replied, understanding. He knew what deviant and behavior meant. Although he didn't understand why Negi was accusing him of such. As far as he knew, Negi had no way of knowing about the onsen clone. “What's that have to do with my clones?” he asked suspiciously.  
  
“I think repeated exposure to their memories is interfering with your ability to keep track of what's going on around you, ” replied Negi.  
  
“What? That's ridiculous!” replied Naruto. _Even if that particular set of memories did cause me to run into a pole._  
 ** _Oh?_** asked a familiar voice. **_Do tell. What exactly is it you remembered that distracted you enough to make a fool of yourself?_**  
 _T-That's none of your business!_ thought-yelled Naruto. The fox's only response was laughter.  
  
“I am being completely serious, ” insisted Negi. “You keep zoning in and out. Do you even remember what we were supposed to be doing just now?”  
  
“...Uh...” replied Naruto, trying to sort through the plethora of memories he had just had dumped on him. “...Go meet up with Ryouga?” guessed Naruto. “Yes, that was it! Quick Negi! To the Ramen Stand!”  
  
“But you haven't dispelled your clones!”  
  
Ignoring his protests, Naruto grabbed his diminutive teammate and took off at full speed toward Ichiraku Ramen.  
  
“...Hey Negi, do you think I could pull off a super-thick pair of caterpillar brows like Lee and Gai?”  
  
“Who?”  


0o0o0

  
Naruto stopped. He had been looking for Sakura, in the park, when he ran into what appeared to be Ryouga sleeping in the sandbox. Which was odd, since as far as he knew, Ryouga was waiting for him and Negi at Ichiraku Ramen. And the last he knew was from a few minutes ago.  
  
Furthermore, not only had Ryouga somehow crossed the entire village and gone to sleep, his sensei also seemed to have shredded his clothes and backpack in between now and when he'd last seen him. Again, a few minutes ago. _Come to think of it, did he even have his backpack when I ran into him?_  
  
Something was wrong. Ryouga was on the other side of the village without his equipment. But Ryouga was also over here and appeared to have recently come out of a serious battle. And the Ryouga at Ichiraku's had wanted to find the rest of the team. Was this a trap of some sort? “...Ryouga sensei?” asked Naruto, cautiously.  
  
The jounin didn't respond. _...Crap. I hope he's not dead._ Carefully, Naruto approached the sleeping ninja. Something was seriously wrong. Ryouga seemed to be missing his headband. And there was something off about his figure. Had he been disfigured somehow? Even his hair seemed wrong. _Although I suppose that could just be because he's missing his headband._  
  
Steeling himself in preparation for what he might find, Naruto reached over, grabbed the sleeping ninja by the shoulder, and flipped him over. Revealing it to be a scarecrow in Ryouga's outfit with a water balloon on its chest. And floating in the middle of the water balloon was an explosive tag!  
  
Panicking, Naruto dropped the scarecrow, his hands raising up to protect his face as he fell backwards onto his ass. _Crap! What a sucky way to die!_ thought Naruto as he waited for the blast to engulf him. And waited.  
  
 _...The hell?_ Somehow, the explosive tag didn't go off. Ignoring the Kyuubi's laughter, Naruto sat up, then climbed back to his feet. A more thorough examination than his previous panicked glance revealed what happened: the explosive tag was the variety that had to be activated via a pulse of chakra. Apparently, the trap wasn't for him.  
  
Looking around, Naruto failed to see anyone. Which doesn't mean nobody's there. After pausing for a moment, he turned back to the scarecrow. “I'm putting it back the way it was, ” he announced. “Please don't blow me up.” Slowly and deliberately, Naruto picked the scarecrow back up and turned it back over. He then slowly backed away from the trap. He then turned around and ran off.  
  
It was only several minutes later that he remembered that he was a shadow clone and thus not actually in any danger from the trap.  
  
Nearby, Kurenai stared vacantly at the trap she had set for Ryouga. She was particularly glad she had decided not to put bear traps in the sandbox after all. Trying to explain to the Hokage how she'd managed to get his godson caught in a bear trap would have sucked.  


0o0o0

  
Naruto slowed to a stop. He had been heading to his apartment to look for ramen money after his awkward encounter with Hinata at the library, but on his way over, he had encountered something unusual. Sakura seemed to be laying on the ground in front of an open apartment door. Unbeknownst to him, he had just located the target of several other Naruto clones completely by accident. However, this particular Naruto was from an older batch of clones. As such, he had no particular reason to seek out Sakura, nor any reason to report it to the original Naruto. Still, it wasn't normal to encounter her anywhere near his apartment (as far as he knew) when she wasn't explicitly seeking him out. As such, he decided to investigate.  
  
Squatting down next to her, Naruto looked the prone girl over. Sakura didn't seem to be unconscious, but just to be sure...  
“Oy, Sakura. You alright?”  
  
Sakura's only response was a groan.  
  
“...Is that a yes, a no, or a 'go away Naruto'?”  
  
Sakura responded by swatting at him.  
  
“I'll take that as the last one.” Standing back up, Naruto stepped over her and walked into his apartment.  
  
“HOLY COW! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY WALL!”


	24. No More Clones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryouga orders Naruto to dispel the clones he's spread throughout Konoha. It doesn't end well.

**Chapter 24: No More Clones**

 

Uzumaki Naruto skidded to a halt outside the ramen stand that was his favorite restaurant in all of existence, Ichiraku Ramen. His younger teammate Negi Springfield tucked securely under his arm (and giving him the most adorable glare he'd seen since coming to this world), he marched in to meet his team's jounin.  
  
As the duo entered the stand, they came across Ichiraku Ayame scooping a pile of what looked like ramen-filled vomit out of one of the stools. “What a waste of ramen,” commented Naruto.  
  
“That's kind of hypocritical considering that you're the one that did that,” replied Hibiki Ryouga from next to Ichiraku Teuchi as the two of them watched Ayame clean the stool.  
  
Negi gasped in surprise as he finally noticed Ryouga. Had he been holding anything, he would have dropped it in surprise. Fortunately, he wasn't. Instead, he was instead still being clutched beneath Naruto's arm. _Ryouga! He's not an ermine! But how?_ Before the boy had time to contemplate further on this, his thoughts were interrupted by a surprised gasp from Naruto and the rude meeting between the floor and his face.  
  
 _My wall!_ thought Naruto in despair as a horrified clone's memories filtered into his mind (consequently resulting in him dropping his teammate). _...Wait a second. I already knew about that. Hopefully I can get the landlord to harass the owner of the other apartment about fixing it instead of me._  
  
“Are you okay, Negi?” asked Ryouga, as he helped the small child up from the ground.  
  
“Ow...” moaned Negi in response. “...Yes.”  
  
“Oops,” said Naruto, only just now realizing that he'd dropped Negi. “Sorry.”  
  
Negi gave him a long look. “Did one of your clones just dispel?”  
  
“Yeah,” replied Naruto. “How'd you know?”  
  
“You dropped me,” replied Negi, rubbing his forehead in pain. “Naruto, you need to stop using so many clones.”  
  
“WHAT?!” yelped Naruto, immediately going on the defensive. “No way! Clones are awesome!”  
  
“They are interfering with your ability to focus on your surroundings,” said Negi.  
  
“I've always been like that!” Naruto yelled. “It's called being stupid!”  
  
“Not as much as you have been lately!” responded Negi with a pout, intentionally not completely denying Naruto's self-proclamation of being stupid.  
  
“Excuse me,” interrupted Ryouga. “How does Naruto using shadow clones have anything to do with his short attention span.”  
  
“It doesn't!” cried Naruto.  
  
“It does!” wailed Negi.  
  
“Shut up!” snarled Ryouga, filling the ramen stand with an oppressive atmosphere. Immediately, both of the genin under his command snapped to attention. “Now, what is it you were saying, Negi?”  
  
“I was saying that his shadow clones disrupt his attention every time they dispel,” reported Negi. The child kept in mind that he was reporting directly to his immediate superior. Blowing a raspberry at Naruto would not be appropriate behavior for a ninja. So he would have to wait until later to do it.  
  
“How so?” asked Ryouga. He hadn't been working with Naruto for long, but even so he could tell the boy could use a little more focus. Even if that was a little hypocritical coming from him.  
  
“When one of Naruto's shadow clones dispel, Naruto gets the memories they acquired during their existence all at once.”  
  
As if on cue, Naruto abruptly chimed in. “Hey! I know where Sakura is!” He paused, suddenly remembering that Negi and Ryouga had been talking. “She should be here in a bit.”  
  
Negi pointed at him. “See! He isn't even following our conversation!”  
  
“Uh... yes I was?” tried Naruto.  
  
Ryouga gave him a flat look. “Naruto, repeat the gist of Negi's explanation.”  
  
“Um... shadow clones are bad because things,” tried Naruto. At Ryouga's continued stare, he quickly added, “And, uh, those things are, um, memories! Yes! Shadow clones are bad because of their memories!”  
  
“That sounds about right to me,” commented Ryouga. Naruto blew a raspberry at Negi. Ryouga took the time to contemplate a punishment for inappropriate behavior on duty, only to quickly remember that technically, Naruto and Negi weren't on duty at the moment. “Even if it sounds like Naruto doesn't actually understand how that makes them bad.”  
  
“I told him what I thought earlier!” said Negi. “He already knew what I was telling you.”  
  
“I see,” said Ryouga. “Naruto, keep your clones to a minimum outside of missions.”  
  
“WHAT?” cried Naruto.  
  
“You heard me. No more unnecessary clones.”  
  
“But I've got like five hundred running around right now. You can't just ask me to get rid of all of them at a moments notice!”  
  
“Naruto...”  
  
“Dammit,” grumbled Naruto, as he formed the cancellation hand seal. A faint poofing noise could be heard from every direction as numerous clones throughout the village dispelled simultaneously. Outside, large gouts of smoke filled most of the public buildings throughout Konoha. The local onsen looked like it had caught fire. And inside a little ramen stand that was frequently visited by a certain orange ninja, Naruto's eyes rolled up to the back of his head, and the orange-clad genin dropped to the ground.

  
0o0o0

  
_Ow..._ thought Naruto, scratching the back of his head. Looking around, he saw nothing but sewers. _What happened? How'd I end up here?_  
  
 _ **You canceled a few hundred clones that had all been out for a few hours all at once, overwhelming your conscious mind with the influx of information built up during each of their brief existences combined,**_ replied a deep, booming mind.  
  
Looking up, Naruto took in the immense form of the nine-tailed demon fox of legend, the Kyuubi no Yoko. _Hey Kyuubi. What's up?_  
  
 _ **I have just spent half of an hour repairing your brain. The same brain that you just about liquefied with all the memories you absorbed. You should be glad that you didn't completely wipe your mind with that stunt.**_  
  
 _...What exactly happened when I dispelled the clones?_  
  
 _ **You went into convulsions on the floor while suffering a major seizure, the red-headed child began panicking, the owners of the ramen stand began panicking worse, and your jounin instructor had to carry you to the hospital. Naked.**_  
  
 _I'm naked!_ thought Naruto, in as close to a yelp as is possible without actually talking in the waking world.  
  
 _ **No, your jounin instructor is. Was.**_  
  
For several seconds, Naruto was speechless. Thoughtless. _...Could you say that again?_  
  
 _ **It seems that your instructor was naked and using a henge as a clothing substitute. You managed to cause a sufficient disruption to his concentration to break the jutsu. Congratulations. Also, Haruno arrived for the meeting.**_  
  
 _Who?_  
  
The Kyuubi abruptly broke down laughing, and continued to do so for several seconds before regaining its composure. _**Don't worry. She's not that important.**_  
  
 _If you say so,_ thought Naruto. _Is Ryouga still naked._  
  
 _ **...No,**_ replied the Kyuubi, unconvincingly.  
  
 _...I think I'll stay unconscious for a little bit longer._  
  
 _ **Good,**_ replied the Kyuubi, suddenly sounding more serious. **_There is something that we must discuss before you awaken and screw things up even further._**  
  
Naruto recognized that tone. It was the tone the Kyuubi usually used before trying to convince him to let it out. But it hadn't tried that in quite some time. Maybe it was something legitimately important? _I'm listening._  
  
 _ **The Springfield child has noticed discrepancies in your behavior since your murder and subsequent assimilation of the body of this world's original version of yourself.**_  
  
 _I like to think of it as 'replacement',_ replied Naruto awkwardly.  
  
 _ **Think of it however you wish. It does not change the fact that the original Naruto of this world is no more. Nor does it change the fact that it was your doing that ended his existence.**_ The Kyuubi seemed almost amused by that.  
  
 _...Are you trying to congratulate me or guilt trip me?_  
  
Just like that, the bijuu was serious again. _**You fool!**_ snarled the Kyuubi. ** _You are vulnerable! Your present body is weak! Your abilities are no longer suited for the form you possess! And worse! You have failed to properly conceal that you have compromised the mind of a ninja in a village of ninjas! Do you know what Konoha does to mentally compromised ninjas?_**  
  
 _...Fix them with the Yamanakas?_  
  
Naruto's response seemed to kill some of the wind in the Kyuubi's sails. _**...Well, I suppose they could do that too,**_ muttered the beast. **_But that's not what I was referring to. Tell me, what does Konoha do when a ninja of Konoha has their body stolen by a foreign ninja?_**  
  
 _That's not fair!_ replied Naruto. _I'm from Konoha!_  
  
 _ **You're not from this Konoha.**_  
  
Naruto swore. The Kyuubi was right. If his origins were ever discovered, he could be in rather deep shit with the village. Especially since he hadn't actually done anything significant in support of this one.  
  
 _ **That said, there is good news. It seems that your teammate has already found a convenient scapegoat for your odd behaviors.**_  
  
The Kyuubi paused, possibly for effect. However, before he could continue, Naruto grinned. _My shadow clones! He thinks it's just the backlash from my shadow clones! Woo! ...Wait. If I let him blame the clones, he's going to try to get me to stop using them. Hell, he already got Ryouga to command me to cut back on them. And if I stop using them but don't immediately revert back to the Naruto from this world, everyone's going to realize the clones aren't to blame! Also, I won't be allowed to use my shadow clones!_ As Naruto started to panic, the Kyuubi started laughing. _Shut up! If they find out I'm not this world's Naruto, they'll kill me for infiltrating the village! And you know what that means for you._  
  
 ** _You moron,_** retorted the demonic fox. **_There's an easy way out of this that you're missing._**  
  
 _Oh? And what is that, Mr. All-Knowing Belly Fox?_  
  
 _ **...You know, if it weren't for how amusing this is probably going to be for me, I would probably have decided not to tell you for that, temporary death be damned.**_  
  
 _...Something tells me I'm not going to like your solution._ The Kyuubi's grin was more than enough to confirm his suspicions, even before it responded.  
  
 _ **It's very, very simple. Enough so that even you should be able to understand it.**_  
  
 _Hey!_  
  
Ignoring Naruto's outburst, the Kyuubi continued. _**Let the Springfield child think the clones are causing your personality differences. Let him think that they're throwing off your fighting style. Let him think you're sabotaging yourself to a horrible extent with them. Let him tell your sensei when you use them. Let him tell your academy teacher Umino. Let him tell this world's Hokage, Jiraiya. Let all of them forbid you from using shadow clones.**_  
  
Each statement from the Kyuubi made Naruto more and more nervous. While he hadn't had much time to think about the potential consequences of Negi thinking the clones were a problem, the Kyuubi had apparently taken the task upon itself immediately. And it seemed to be building up to something. Nervously, he swallowed. Clearly, this was going to be very, very bad for him.  
  
 _ **And just keep using them anyway.**_  
  
 _...Huh?_ thought Naruto. _That... That doesn't sound too bad, actually._  
  
 _ **Exactly! When Springfield begs you to stop, blow him off. When Haruno calls you an idiot, show her how right she is!**_  
  
 _Who?_  
  
 _ **Not important,**_ replied the Kyuubi. **_Now where was I?_** The bijuu paused for a moment to scratch the back of its ear with a hind leg. _ **Oh, right. When Hibiki forbids you from using your shadow clones under threat of punishment, tell him to bring on the pain! When Umino tries to talk you out of using them, show him how much of a stubborn ass you can be! And when Jiraiya tells you to cut the crap if you ever want to be promoted to chunin, tell him you're gonna be a genin for life! But whatever you do, DON'T STOP USING THE CLONES!**_  
  
 _...When you put it that way, it sounds really, really bad._  
  
 _ **Thank you,**_ said the Kyuubi, seeming genuinely pleased. ** _But remember, keep using the clones. As long as the ninjas of Konoha think they've found the cause of your strange behavior, they won't see any reason to dig deeper. Ninjas always spout that 'look underneath the underneath' crap, but they rarely actually put it into practice without a reason. And you need to do everything in your power to avoid giving them a reason to look. Remember, if they dig deep enough, it could very well become your grave._**  
  
Naruto swore. He needed some time alone to think about this before he was ready to face everyone again. Turning, he began walking deeper into the sewer system that was his subconscious mind.  
  
 _ **Remember,**_ cried the Kyuubi from behind him, **_sell the clones thing! Sell it with everything you're worth!_** The bijuu's laughter trailed into nothingness as Naruto wandered further into the dark sewers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who can't remember, Haruno is Sakura's surname.


	25. A Little Trip to the Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto demonstrates the disadvantages of partial amnesia around a violent teammate.

**Chapter 25: A Little Trip to the Hospital**

  
When Negi and Sakura finally made it to the hospital, they were shocked to find that Naruto had actually been checked in. Apparently, not only had Ryouga actually made it to the hospital, he had beaten them there. After getting Naruto's room number from a nurse, the two rushed to the room of their teammate.  
  
When they arrived, they found Naruto still unconscious on a bed. And only Naruto. Ryouga was nowhere to be found. Which, while frustrating, was almost expected at this point. _Which is too bad_ , thought Sakura. _I've got some words for our streaking sensei. Like 'WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING NAKED IN ICHIRAKU RAMEN DURING THE LUNCH RUSH!?'_ Unfortunately, said streaking sensei was missing, Naruto was still unconscious, and Negi was too focused on Naruto to be in any condition to respond to her advances. For the time being, she would have to wait for the situation to change. _Well, I suppose I could just leave, but that might alienate me with Negi. I should at least find out Naruto's condition before leaving._  
  
After several minutes of awkward silence, the sound of something breaking through drywall drew Negi and Sakura's attention to the closet. Before either of the two had the chance to investigate further, the closet's sliding door smashed outwards, revealing their wayward sensei, clad in a hospital gown, legs clenched together, and a strained look on his face. “Where the heck's the bathroom!”  
  
“There you are!” accused Sakura.  
  
Ryouga looked at her, apparently only now noticing her. “Ah! You made it! Unless I'm not in the hospital anymore.”  
  
“This is the hospital,” Negi confirmed.  
  
“Good,” replied Ryouga. “Naruto's in a room somewhere around here. It shouldn't be too hard to find him. I think he's in room 414. I'll join you in a moment.”  
  
Sakura gave him a flat look, then pointed at the bed containing the still unconscious Naruto.  
  
“Right! Good job!” acknowledged Ryouga. “I'll be right back!” Before either of his students could stop him, Ryouga, bolted through the wall, leaving a second Ryouga-sized hole in the room.  
  
“Wait!” yelled Negi, moving to follow Ryouga, only to abruptly stop. Turning, he faced Sakura. “Please stay with Naruto in case he wakes up. I'll go catch our sensei before he leaves the building.”  
  
 _Ack!_ thought Inner Sakura. _I should be the doing that! You should stay here! You actually give a damn about Naruto! I don't!_ “Sure thing,” replied Sakura, grinning.  
  
“Thank you,” Negi called back as he took off after Ryouga, boosting his speed with wind magic as soon as he left the room.  


0o0o0

  
Sakura waited. And waited. And waited and waited and waited. Despite the wait, Sakura showed no signs of impatience. Externally, anyways.  
  
 _This is so boring,_ moaned Inner Sakura. _How am I supposed to pass the time? There aren't any books or magazines or anything!_ _All there is in here is a bed, a folder of medical documents (which I'm probably not allowed to touch), and Naruto. And Naruto isn't even conscious!_  
  
Sakura's eyes scanned the room. Nope. She hadn't missed anything with her initial scan. Slowly, her eyes drifted over to the documents. _Hmm... it doesn't look sealed. Are those Naruto's medical records?_  


0o0o0

  
“Ugh,” groaned Naruto, slowly rising from his prone position on the bed. Unfortunately, despite his best efforts, he had not been able to come up with a better solution than continuing to use clones. Which, admittedly, he wasn't against. He just didn't want to get into trouble using them.  
  
A yelp of surprise drew his attention to his left, where a vaguely attractive pink-haired girl was throwing a manilla folder onto a nearby counter like it had caught fire. “Naruto! You're awake!” said the girl, attempting to look innocent and failing horribly.  
  
 _Great,_ thought Naruto. _A nosy nurse. Oh well. Better start playing dumb._ _At least I don't have to fake being in pain._ “Ow, my head,” groaned Naruto, raising a hand to his head. “What happened?”  
  
“Beats me,” replied the nurse. “Apparently you suddenly collapsed at Ichiraku Ramen.”  
  
“Er, you don't know?” asked Naruto, more than a little surprised. “Nobody know why I collapsed?”  
  
The pink-haired nurse shrugged in response. “How would I know? I don't work here, and I haven't seen any hospital attendants since I arrived. I wasn't even there when you dropped.”  
  
That set off all kinds of alarm bells in his head. Someone who didn't work at the hospital had entered his room and was looking through medical documents. Was this girl a spy?! Naruto's eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Who are you?” he asked, hopping out of his bed and taking a basic academy stance (and actually succeeding at it, he belatedly realized).  
  
The pink-haired girl stared at him in wide-eyed surprise, only to glare at him a moment later. “Not funny, Naruto.”  
  
“I'm not trying to be,” he responded. “Who are you, and why were you looking through those medical thingies?”  
  
“It's me, stupid,” replied the girl. “And I have no idea what you're talking about,” she finished unconvincingly.  
  
“Alright, Stupid. What exactly are you doing in my room?”  
  
Sakura tensed, but didn't move. She would not beat the crap out of Naruto for calling her stupid. Even if Inner Sakura was calling for his blood. He could be suffering some sort of brain injury, and pounding his head into the floor could exacerbate the injury. “I'm watching you while Negi finds Ryouga,” she replied.  
  
“If you don't work here, then why are you watching me?” asked Naruto flatly.  
  
“Because Negi told me to,” the pink-haired girl replied.  
  
“And why would Negi get you to watch me?”  
  
“Because we're teammates,” said Sakura.  
  
Naruto stared at her in confusion, flabbergasted by her response. “No we're not!” he exclaimed, pointing at the mystery girl. “I've never seen you before in my life!”  
  
“We ARE on the same team, Naruto!” growled Sakura through clenched teeth, barely restraining herself from lashing out at her idiot teammate, brain injury or not.  
  
“No we're not.”  
  
“Yes we are!”  
  
“No we're not.”  
  
“YES WE ARE!”  
  
“No we're not.”  
  
The sound of fist meeting skull could be heard throughout the floor.

  
0o0o0

  
“What was that?” asked Negi from the hallway outside Naruto's room.  
  
Ryouga, intimately familiar with the sound of angry female inflicted violence, simply grimaced. _Hopefully she didn't launch him out of the room._ “...We should probably hurry up,” he said, deliberately not answering Negi's question. “Which room did you say he was in again?”  
  
“That one,” replied Negi, pointing to one of the doors. As he did so, the door opened, and out stomped an angry Sakura. Noticing them, she turned to Negi.  
  
“Tell your friend to quit faking amnesia,” Sakura growled, utterly failing to fake a pleasant demeanor for Negi's sake. She then turned and stomped off. She would later kick herself for forgetting to chew out Ryouga for his public indecency at the ramen stand.  
  
Negi quickly rushed into the room, while Ryouga followed at a slightly more sedate pace. “Naruto! Are you okay?”  
  
“Someone tell that fake nurse her bedside manner really sucks,” groaned Naruto from the floor, cradling his left cheek with his hands.  
  
Negi paused. “You mean Sakura?” he asked hesitantly.  
  
“Who?” asked Naruto.  
  
Negi gave him a concerned look. Ryouga snickered, earning a glare from Negi.  
  
“Sorry,” he replied. “The situation just reminds me of something funny that happened to someone else.” Waving it off, he turned back to Naruto. “Naruto, do you know who we are?”  
  
Naruto stared at Ryouga and Negi in confusion as he rose to his feet. “Of course I know who you are. You're the other members of my team.”  
  
Ryouga stepped over to Naruto, then grabbed him by the head and lifted him upward.  
  
“Ack! What are you doing?!” yelped Naruto.  
  
Ignoring him, Ryouga examined his hair. Then he turned Naruto's head to examine his face and pried open each of his eyes. Nodding, he dropped the boy. “Looks like you've got a concussion.”  
  
“Huh?” replied Naruto.  
  
“A minor brain injury,” replied Ryouga. “It'll go away in a bit.”  
  
“Are you saying that I know that girl?” asked Naruto.  
  
“Yep,” Ryouga replied cheerfully. “Don't worry,” he added, clapping a hand onto Naruto's shoulder. “Concussions happen to the best of us. I'm sure it will come back to you eventually.”  
  
“Are you sure?” asked Negi. “This seems kind of serious.”  
  
“I know what I'm talking about, here. I've had my own share of concussions, you know. I once went two weeks without knowing who Ranma was.” Ryouga smiled. “It was the happiest two weeks of my life.”  
  
“Who's Ranma?” asked Naruto.  
  
“Exactly,” replied Ryouga, as he left the room.  
  
Naruto turned to Negi. “Is Ranma someone I should know?”  
  
“I have no idea,” replied Negi.

  
0o0o0

  
As soon as he had been released from the hospital, Naruto made a beeline for his apartment. Upon arrival, he went to his bedroom and prepared for a chat with the Kyuubi.  
  
 _Alright, you bastard fox. What the hell was up with that?_  
  
 _ **Up with what?**_ the bijuu replied.  
  
 _Why the hell can't I remember who Sakura is?_  
  
 _ **Remember how I told you that you just about liquefied your brain? I was not exaggerating.**_  
  
Naruto had a sudden sinking feeling. _...How much knowledge did I lose?_  
  
 _ **Actually, you didn't lose that much knowledge.**_ The Kyuubi paused, and waited until Naruto let out a sigh of relief before continuing. ** _It was mostly memories._** The Kyuubi sounded immensely amused. _ **Don't worry. You didn't forget anything too important.**_  
  
 _Forgetting who one of my teammates was wasn't important?_  
  
 _ **No, it wasn't,**_ replied the fox with a monstrous grin. **_Tell me, what do you remember of Sakura?_**  
  
 _Not much. I... think she was a med nin? I kind of remember being healed by a pink-haired girl._  
  
 _ **And that's exactly what she was. She was a pink-haired girl who you at one point had a crush on, who eventually became a med-nin. And in this world, it appears that none of that even happened yet.**_  
  
 _She's still my teammate in this world._  
  
 _ **Yes. And what do you know of her history before joining your team?**_  
  
 _Nothing! I told you, I can't remember her!_  
  
 _ **Exactly. And now there's a reason for that.**_  
  
Naruto stared blankly at the Kyuubi. The demon fox waited for a few moments, before its grin morphed into a scowl as it grew impatient.  
  
 _ **You imbecile. This is not your world! You had no idea what your relationship with her was even before losing your memories of her! Now... now you have an excuse for not knowing.**_  
  
 _Oh,_ replied Naruto, comprehension finally dawning on his face. _...Hey. Did you know that I had forgotten who Sakura was before I woke up?_  
  
 _ **Yes,**_ replied the fox.  
  
 _Why the hell didn't you tell me I'd forgotten my own teammate?_  
  
 _ **Would telling you have made any sort of difference? What's gone is gone. Pretending otherwise won't bring it back. Either way, you would have faced her without knowing who she was. By telling you about your lost memories, all that would have been accomplished would have been you reacting in a more artificial manner.**_ The Kyuubi snorted. ** _Keep in mind that we are trying not to be discovered, here._**  
  
Naruto snarled. He didn't like it, but he could see why the Kyuubi had neglected to tell him. _Are there anymore surprises for me that you haven't told me about._  
  
 ** _Hmm..._** The Kyuubi sprouted a wide grin. **_I wonder..._**  
  
Naruto swore.


	26. Combo Meal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rita Repulsa, in a bout of sick genius, sends a monster known as Pudgy Pig to attack Konoha's food supply.

**Chapter 26: Combo Meal**

  
In a flash of light, Ryouga suddenly found himself in a wooded area, next to a dozen Narutos playing cards at a table, each with a card stuck to their forehead, apparently in some sort of variation of the leaf concentration exercise. “What the?! Dammit, Naruto,” growled Ryouga, causing the shadow clones to freeze in place (and causing a dozen cards to drop to the table). “AGAIN WITH THE CLONES?!” Before their instructor had time to do anything, the clones simultaneously made a single handseal and vanished in a massive cloud of smoke, leaving behind a table and three decks of playing cards.  
  
Meanwhile, at the house that Team Five had been hired to paint, Naruto's eyes briefly crossed as he received a sudden influx of foreign memories, causing him to drop his paintbrush on the welcome mat in front of the front door. “...Crap.”  
  
“What was that?” asked Sakura.  
  
“Nothing!” replied Naruto, trying to look innocent. “Don't worry about it. Just go back to painting the fence.”  
  
Negi looked over from where he was painting a wall at the newly paint-covered welcome mat in front of Naruto. “There's a hose over there. If you wash it off, before it sets, you can probably get all the paint off.”  
  
“Uh, yeah,” replied Naruto, only now noticing the paint on the welcome mat. “I'll get it clean. Don't worry.”  
  
Sakura stared at Naruto for a moment. He was obviously covering something else up. After a moment, however, she decided that she really didn't care and returned to painting the fence.  
  
It had been five rather normal days doing D-Ranks since Naruto hospitalized himself by dispelling several hundred clones at once, and he still couldn't remember much about Sakura. As the Kyuubi had predicted, upon discovering the cause of his collapse, Ryouga had been rather adamant about him ceasing all noncombat usage of clones for the time being. Naruto had immediately agreed to cut back on them. And like the Kyuubi had instructed, he continued to use them anyway.  
  
Despite making a minor effort to keep his continued usage of shadow clones a secret, Ryouga managed to run into them on a fairly regular basis. Naruto couldn't help but wonder if Ryouga was actually looking for them. Every once in a while, he would just kind of appear next to them in a flash of light. It bothered Naruto that he wasn't sure if it was some sort of movement technique or part of the curse that Ryouga grumbled about so often. Regardless of which it was, Ryouga's inexplicable ability to run into them no matter where Naruto hid them had lead to several lectures that Naruto had blatantly ignored. And judging from the memories he had just received from his latest batch of clones, it looked like he was going to get another one at some point later in the day. Assuming, of course, that Ryouga actually managed to find him.  


0o0o0

  
After the incident involving a naked Ryouga, an unconscious Naruto, and a trip to the hospital, Sakura and her team had spent five boring days doing D-Ranks. Naruto was still pretending not to remember who she was, and Negi and Ryouga kept chewing him out whenever he used his shadow clones. Despite this, the days passed by in a rather unnotable manner. They hadn't even managed to fail any more of their D-Rank missions. So Sakura had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. After the rather horrible first couple days on Team Five, there wasn't any doubt in her mind that it would happen. So when her communicator suddenly went off, it came almost as a relief. Almost.  
  
Immediately, Sakura raised her wrist to her face. “Sakura here,” she said, speaking into the wrist-mounted communication device.  
  
“Sakura, this is Ino,” replied the watch-like device with Ino's voice. “There's something going on at the market. Get down here as soon as you can.”  
  
“On it,” she replied, only to suddenly realize that Naruto and Negi were staring at her. Inner Sakura called her an idiot. Sakura slowly lowered her arm. “Uh... oops.”  
  
“Oops?” asked Ino.  
  
“I'll tell you later,” replied Sakura. “Bye.”  
  
“That...” said Naruto, staring at her. No, staring at her communicator. “What is-”  
  
“That's amazing!” interjected Negi, far more coherent. “Where did you get that?”  
  
“Ah,” said Sakura, looking down at her own arm. Abruptly, she swung it behind her back. “I have no idea what you're talking about!” she lied.  
  
“I'm talking about your wrist-mounted radio,” specified Negi.  
  
“Oh,” said Sakura. “That. Well, the truth is-” started Sakura, only to spin around and take off in the opposite direction. “I HAVE TO GO MEET INO!” she yelled back to her teammates.  
  
“Wait!” called Negi, taking off after her. “You didn't answer my question!”  
  
“Gah!” yelped Naruto. “Wait! We're not done, yet!” Turning, he looked back at the house they hadn't finished painting. “Oh what the hell! KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!” With the mission now in good(?) hands, Naruto turned around and sprinted after his unfortunately faster teammates. “WAIT, GUYS! THE MARKET'S NOT THAT WAY!”  


0o0o0

  
Meanwhile, at the Command Center, the secret base of the Power Rangers, the aforementioned transforming super heroes were waiting for their final member to arrive.  
  
“What's taking her so long?” muttered Ino.  
  
From his stasis tube, Zordon opened his eyes. “I'm afraid that we cannot wait any longer. When Sakura arrives, I will fill her in on the situation and send her to join you.”  
  
“Crap,” said Kiba.  
  
“Looks like we'll have to do this without her,” said Yahiko.  
  
“Alright,” acknowledged Tenten. “Zordon, what's going on?”  
  
“Behold the viewing globe,” replied Zordon. As the Power Rangers turned to face the crystal ball, the globe lit up, displaying what appeared to be a large pig head encased in a metal helmet with deformed limbs sticking out as it tore its way through the Konoha market. “The images you see happened just a moment ago. It appears that Rita has released a ravenous pig upon Konoha. It's sole purpose is to eat. I calculate that he will consume the entire supply of food in Konoha within a few hours.” Zordon paused for effect before adding, “It must be stopped immediately.”  
  
“That... sounds completely inane,” Ino replied flatly.  
  
“Actually,” countered Tenten, “if that pig is really capable of devouring all the food in Konoha, she might have come up with a realistic way to take down Konoha.”  
  
“By making a pig that eats a lot?” Yahiko asked sceptically.  
  
“Actually, I think I see what Tenten's getting at,” commented Kiba. “If Rita manages to starve us to death, it doesn't matter if she can't beat us in a fight.”  
  
“Precisely,” said Tenten. “They say that amateurs think tactics while professionals think logistics. If Rita's started to attack us logistically, this could just be the start of something much worse.”  


0o0o0

  
“HAHAHAHAHA!” Sitting on the floor before her crystal ball, Rita laughed maniacally. Only to suddenly tense up, then turn and puke into a nearby bucket. After taking a moment to wipe the sweat from her forehead and the residual vomit from her lips, Rita turned back to her crystal ball, which displayed the Konoha market as the monster Pudgy Pig devoured everything edible in sight. “Take that, Konoha! My Pudgy Pig will leave you without a bite left to eat!”  
  
“Oh dear!” said Finster. “My queen, might I suggest you return to bed? You're far too sick to be up right now.”  
  
“Shut up!” Rita shouted. “I'm sick of being in bed! I'm sick of being sick! And I'm sick of puking my brains out every time I eat anything!” Turning back to her crystal ball, the evil witch grinned deliriously. “If I can't eat solid foods, than neither can anyone else! HAHAHAHAHA-urp!” Rita turned back to her bucket.  


0o0o0

  
Meanwhile, at the west gate of the village, a small white animal slipped into Konoha under the shadow of a cart.


	27. Enter the Ermine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the Power Rangers hunt down Pudgy Pig, Negi encounters an old friend.

“Stop right there, you pig!” cried the Black Ranger.  
  
Pudgy Pig didn't react, continuing to devour the cart of vegetables it currently had its head buried in. Already, the sinister swine had lain waste to the vast majority of Konoha's market. Unfortunately, the market was in a more civilian-heavy area of the ninja village. While the horrendously hungry hog had not yet killed anyone, it had caused quite a bit of confusion in its chaotic consumption of comestible goods. Yet no ninja had been present to stop it in its ravenous rampage through the local food vendors.  
  
“Hey!” yelled the Blue Ranger from the roof of a nearby building. “We're talking to you!”  
  
The pig's only response was a series of snorts and what almost sounded like laughter. Finishing the cart, it smashed its way out the end and sprinted to the next food stand.  
  
“I don't like being ignored,” snarled the Black Ranger.  
  
“Let's see if we can't get its attention with our blade blasters,” suggest the Yellow Ranger.  
  
“Right,” replied the others, drawing their blasters in a strangely synchronized motion. “2, 1, Fire!”  
  
Laser fire rained down upon the monster pig, eliciting a squeal of pain despite impacting on the hog's humongous helmet. Snorting, Pudgy Pig spun back to its feet, now facing the rangers. With a laugh, it charged toward them, only to swerve into a nearby store at the last second.  
  
“Ack!” yelped the Pink Ranger. “Follow it! Don't let it get away.”  
  
The Power Rangers dropped down from the roof and began pursuing the pig.

 

**Chapter 27: Enter the Ermine**

  
“Bro!”  
  
The call froze Negi in his tracks. He started to look for the source, but Sakura was quickly gaining distance from him. Negi started to run, only to be interrupted by a second, louder call.  
  
“BRO! WAIT UP!”  
  
Again, Negi froze in place. “Who's there?” This time, however, a small white stoat jumped into his path. “Chamo?”  
  
“Down here, bro!” replied the stoat.  
  
“Chamo!” Negi cried, grinning at the ermine. “How did- Why are- When did you get here?!”  
  
“Just now,” the small mammal replied, returning Negi's grin. “It's been forever, huh?”  
  
“Yeah!” exclaimed Negi. “What are you doing here?”  
  
“An ermine can't just stop by to see how his bro is doing?” Chamo hopped up onto Negi's shoulder and pulled out a cigarette. “So, how's your training been going? Got a partner yet?”  
  
Negi blushed. “Stop kidding around, Chamo. You know it's still way to early for me for that sort of thing.”  
  
“Oh,” asked the ermine. “Well, if you haven't got one yet, I might-”  
  
“There you are!” interrupted a voice from behind Negi. Turning, Negi spotted a quickly approaching Naruto. “What happened to Sakura?”  
  
“Eh?” Negi looked around, suddenly remembering why he'd abandoned his D-Rank mission. “I don't know! I got distracted and she got away!”  
  
“Sorry,” said Chamo, causing Negi to stiffen as the ermine failed to make even the slightest effort to pretend it couldn't talk in front of Naruto. “That's probably my fault. It's just that it's been so long since I last saw bro here that I had to stop by and say hi.”

 

0o0o0

  
Sakura skidded to a halt, then dove into a nearby shop. Only to immediately crash into a counter, then fall to the floor. Climbing back to her feet, she looked around. A pair of stools sat immediately in front of and behind her. She had missed crashing into them by sheer luck. On the other side of the counter was what appeared to be a kitchen. Was she in a restaurant of some sort?  
  
 _It doesn't matter,_ she decided. _What does matter is that I seem to have lost Negi and Naruto. And it looks like whatever this place is, it's either closed or empty. Which means it's morphin time!_  
  
Reaching behind her back, Sakura grabbed the power morpher attached to her belt. With a swift yank, she pulled it loose, then swung it around in front of her. “TYRANNOSAURUS!”  
  
And in a flash of red light, Sakura vanished.

 

0o0o0

  
On the rooftop of a nearby building, Ryouga charged forward. He could see the Hokage Tower in the distance, so he knew he was still in Konoha. Unfortunately, he had no idea where he was in Konoha. He knew his genin team was supposed to be painting a house in a civilian residential area, but he wasn't actually sure where that was. He supposed he'd recognize it when he came across it.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, Ryouga spotted a red flash of light. However, when he looked back to search for it, he found nothing.  
  
For a moment, he considered using the Hiraishin to teleport to his genin team. However, he decided against it. There wasn't any rush to get back to them, and the last few times he'd tried, he'd just ended up at a group of Naruto's clones on the outskirts of the village anyway. Speaking of which, he needed to have another talk with Naruto about using his shadow clones for nonessential reasons. Again.  
  
Anyways, what were the odds of them screwing up something as simple as a D-Rank. Again. What were the odds of them screwing up a D-Rank again. After a moment, Ryouga began running through the seals for the Hiraishin technique.

 

0o0o0

  
As Chamo took a long drag from his cigarette, Negi turned and looked at the ermine in horror. Naruto just stared at him blankly. “Can't he just summon you whenever?”  
  
“Wouldn't that be great,” replied the stoat, taking a puff on his cigarette. “But life just doesn't work like that. There's not an ermine contract. Not yet anyway.” Extending a paw, Chamo grinned at Naruto. “The name's Albert Chamomile, but bro here calls me Chamo.”  
  
“Uh,” replied Naruto, before awkwardly taking the paw. “Uzumaki Naruto. ...If you're not a summon, how can you talk?”  
  
“Like I said, there isn't an ermine contract yet. Emphasis on yet.” Chamo crossed his forelegs across his chest. “A conundrum I'm working on as we speak. It ain't fair that the hawks, toads, snakes, monkeys, dogs, salamanders, crows, sharks, spiders, owls, turtles, and weasels get one when we don't. Hell, even slugs have a summon contract.” Chamo paused to let out a puff of smoke. “So I'm on a quest to make one for ermines.”  
  
Naruto nodded in understanding. “Makes sense. It really isn't fair that they all get one but ermines don't.”  
  
Chamo grinned. _Hook, line, and sinker. Now I can talk freely throughout the village without bro being punished._  
  
Negi, on the other hand, stared at Chamo in wonder. “You're really trying to do that? I had no idea.”  
  
 _Er, maybe I was a little too convincing._ Nevertheless, Chamo gave Negi his best grin and nodded. “I certainly am. Didn't I tell you before?”  
  
“Nope,” replied Negi.  
  
“Oh. Well then. Hey bro, guess what? I'm trying to establish an Ermine Summoning Contract.” He then turned back to Naruto. “Anyways, bro here and me go way back. So when I saw him as I was passing through the village, I couldn't just not stop by to visit.” Turning back to Negi, Chamo gave him the most sincere looking smile he could muster. “But it looks like I'm holding you two up from something, so don't mind me. It's not like meeting up with an old friend is more important than chasing girls.” Negi looked distinctly guilty. _Just one more push._ Hopping down from Negi's shoulder, Chamo looked back at him and leered. “And at such a young age too. I'm proud of you, bro.”  
  
Before Negi could cave in and decide to abandon chasing Sakura altogether in favor of hanging out with Chamo, the sound of an explosion shook the area. Naruto looked at Negi and point behind him. “That sounded like it came from that direction.” Not waiting for Negi's response, he began running toward the noise.  
  
Bending down, Negi scooped up Chamo and dropped him onto his shoulder. “Come on, Chamo. Let's see what that was.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiraishin no Jutsu - Flying Thundergod Technique: The teleportation technique that was the signature move of the fourth Hokage, Namikaze Minato. The original version of it was lost with Minato's death, but Ryouga has an inferior version that he developed with help from Jiraiya.
> 
> Blade Blaster - The standard blaster provided to each member of the Power Rangers. They can transform into short bladed weapons.


	28. The Death of Ichiraku Ramen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ichiraku Ramen is completely destroyed forever.

 

**Chapter 28: The Death of Ichiraku Ramen**

  
“Yummy food, ahahahaha!” laughed Pudgy Pig, sticking his head out of a recently emptied dango shop.  
  
“There he is!” shouted the Blue Ranger, pointing at the monster pig, who immediately spun around and fled back inside the shop.  
  
“Quick, get him before he gets away again!” Not waiting for a response, the Pink Ranger jumped from the rooftop, bow at the ready, and launched an arrow at the rampant pig, only to miss and hit a nearby chair. “Crap!”  
  
“I've got him!” cried the Black Ranger, charging inside with her axe drawn. And in the process, unintentionally blocking the Yellow Ranger's shot at the pig.  
  
“Dammit, Ino!” Lowering her Blade Blaster, the Yellow Ranger swiftly rose back to her feet. Returning the projectile weapon to its holster, she drew her Power Daggers, waiting for the pig to come back out the front entrance. The sound of wood being smashed accompanied by an annoying laugh informed her that Pudgy Pig wouldn't be coming back through the entrance.  
  
“How the heck is that thing so fast when it's got such stubby legs?” asked the Blue Ranger, charging into the store.  
  
“Who cares! Just catch it!” replied the Pink Ranger, sprinting to catch up with the others as they left the shop through its new back exit.

 

0o0o0

  
Meanwhile, at the Command Center, Sakura watched as the viewing globe displayed Pudgy Pig bursting through the back wall of Anko's favorite dango. “As you can see, this pig has been wreaking utter havoc upon the stores and restaurants throughout Konoha,” said Zordon. “Unlike Rita's previous monsters, it seems to have no interest in fighting, and is doing everything in its power to avoid a direct confrontation with the other rangers.”  
  
“So it's probably weak,” suggested Sakura.  
  
“Perhaps,” replied Zordon neutrally. “However, due to its decision to focus on eating and causing property damage, I have been unable to determine the full extent of its abilities. At the very least, it seems to be relatively quick for one of Rita's monsters.”  
  
“Don't worry, I'll handle it,” Sakura assured Zordon. “The other rangers are already after it. All I need to do is knock it off its feet to give them a moment to catch up.”  
  
“Very well. I shall leave this in your hands, Sakura. Good luck, and may the power protect you.”  
  
In a flash of red light, Sakura vanished from the Command Center.

 

0o0o0

  
“Wow! Looks like someone threw one heck of a party!” Chamo whistled as he took in the remains of Konoha's market. Almost all of it had been destroyed, although one random stand selling habanero peppers seemed to have been missed. “What do you think caused this, bro?”  
  
“I'm not sure,” replied Negi. It was true, although he had his suspicions. He had to fight to keep the smile off his face. _If I'm lucky, maybe I can see them up close again._  
  
Naruto just stared. It didn't make sense. How could anyone be allowed to do this much damage in Konoha before being stopped? Why hadn't anyone gotten involved? Or had they, and this was just collateral damage from the battle?  
  
Before Naruto had time to come up with any particularly convoluted theories, a flash of yellow disrupted his thoughts.  
  
“Aha! There you are!”  
  
Reflexively, Naruto tried to dispel, only to be reminded that he wasn't a shadow clone when nothing happened. “Uh... Hi, Ryouga.”  
  
“Hello, sensei,” greeted Negi.  
  
“Hello, Negi,” responded Ryouga, before turning back to Naruto, his frustration clearly displayed across his face. “So, what part of 'Stop using shadow clones outside of combat' did you not understand?”  
  
“...Um...” replied Naruto intelligently.  
  
“And playing cards? Really? Did you already forget what happened last week? Or do you really consider your mind such a worthless thing that you're willing to risk it just because you're bored?”  
  
“Well...” started Naruto, before deciding that answering yes was probably a bad idea. So was answering no, for that matter. Claiming that having a few clones out all at once wasn't all that risky would reveal that he possessed knowledge he really shouldn't have any way of knowing (and had no way of proving). Explaining that the clones had actually been performing the leaf concentration exercise with cards instead of leaves wouldn't work either, as they had rather obviously started playing poker at some point. Actually, he couldn't think of any response that wouldn't result in more of his instructor's ire. Fortunately, he was saved from responding by the sound of wood being smashed. “What was that?!” he cried dramatically, pointing in the direction of the noise and just barely keeping the smile off his face as several loud bangs followed up the smashing noise.  
  
Ryouga looked in the direction of the noise, then turned back to Naruto. “This isn't over,” he said, before turning and running to see what the cause of the noises was. In the wrong direction.  
  
“Sensei, wait!” yelled Negi, taking off after the soon-to-be lost jounin.  
  
Naruto let out a sigh of relief. _Well, I probably should see what that was._ Turning back toward where the sounds had actually come from, Naruto started running to investigate.

 

0o0o0

  
“SHANNARO!” With a shout, the Red Ranger materialized in front of Pudgy Pig, immediately lashing out with a haymaker. Caught completely off-guard, the punch struck him in the snout with such force that it launched him backwards, knocking him off his feet.  
  
“Ow ow ow,” mumbled the pig, clutching his snout.  
  
“Sa- I mean, Red Ranger!” exclaimed the Black Ranger.  
  
“Quick, while he's still down! Everyone, surround him!” commanded the Yellow Ranger, drawing her Blade Blaster and opening fire on the downed pig monster.  
  
“RIGHT!”  
  
Immediately, the Blue and Pink rangers flipped over Pudgy Pig, drawing their own Blade Blasters. Meanwhile, the Black Ranger converted her Power Axe into its cannon mode.  
  
“FIRE!” cried the Power Rangers as one, blasting away at the swine with their weapons (except the Red Ranger, who had been slightly slower on the uptake and was only now drawing her Blade Blaster).  
  
“ARG!” cried the pig, as blaster fire rained onto him from four different directions. For a moment, it lay still on the ground, only to abruptly snort. “Fine,” growled Pudgy Pig, swiftly rolling back to its feet. “You want a fight? Let's fight.”  
  
“How did it survive that?” asked the Black Ranger. “We hit it from all sides!”  
  
“It's that huge helmet he's wearing!” exclaimed the Yellow Ranger. “It's covering most of his body! We need to hit him directly from the front!”  
  
“On it,” replied the Red Ranger, already aiming her Blade Blaster, only to suddenly stumble forward as a sudden gust of wind pulled her toward the pig's open mouth. “What the-ARG!” As soon as she got within a few feet of the pig's open mouth, Pudgy Pig clamped down on her arm. “My arm!”  
  
“Red!” cried the Pink Ranger, leaping toward pudgy pig, Blade Blaster extended into its sword mode. However, before either the Pink or Red Ranger had time to react, Pudgy Pig landed a sucker punch to the Red Ranger's exposed stomach, knocking her free in the process. Straight into the Pink Ranger, sending both of them crashing to the ground.  
  
It was only afterwards that the Red Ranger realized she was now empty handed. “Ah! He ate my Blade Blaster!”  
  
“What?!” yelped the Pink Ranger.  
  
“Ahahahaha!” laughed the pig, as it lunged toward the two downed rangers.  
  
 _Damn_ , thought the Blue Ranger, lowering his Blade Blaster. _I can't line up a shot without hitting Pink and Red._ The sound of blaster fire interrupted his thoughts, and the pig wailed in pain as it dropped to the ground, now clutching its leg. “Yellow!”  
  
“Quick, before he has time to get back up! Everyone, use your power weapons!”  
  
“YAH!” cried the Black Ranger, swinging her axe into Pudgy Pig's already injured leg.  
  
“OW! MY LEG!” wailed the pig, rolling over onto its back. “Take this!” The pig let out a blast of air, launching the Black and Yellow rangers through a nearby noodle stand. “HA! How's tha-AAAAAUUUGH!”  
  
Whatever Pudgy Pig had intended to say was interrupted via a Power Lance through his eye.  
  
“MY EYE! YOU FU-AAAAGH!”  
  
A similar interruption was made via the application of a Power Sword directly up his snout. And then another via a Blade Blaster in blade mode through his uninjured leg. For the next few moments, the Red, Black, and Pink rangers methodically tore apart the pig using their respective melee weapons. Finally, the rangers stopped. “...Okay, I think he's dead.”  
  
The Pink Ranger experimentally stabbed the pig's remaining eye, eliciting no response. “Yeah, he seems pretty dead to me.”  
  
“So,” said the Blue Ranger. “Want to go check on Yellow and Black?”  
  
“Sure,” replied the Red Ranger. “Just give me a moment to get my Blade Blaster back.” Turning back to the pig's corpse, she raised her sword. A few seconds of hacking later, she triumphantly retrieved her weapon. “Okay, let's go.”  
  
“Hey,” said the Pink Ranger. “Is anyone else wondering why Rita didn't revive this monster as a giant? She usually makes us fight them twice.”  
  
“...Actually, that is kind of weird,” replied the Red Ranger.

 

0o0o0

  
“Now now, my queen,” said Finster. “It is important that you get your rest. How are you going to defeat the Power Rangers if you're too sick to even use your magic properly.”  
  
“WAIT! I CAN STILL MAKE IT GROW! I CAN-” Rita's complaint was abruptly cut off as her body suddenly began purging her stomach of its contents.  
  
“...I'll get Squat to clean that up later. For now, off to bed with you.”  
  
“I REALLY HATE THOSE GUYS!” wailed Rita, despite being too weak to fend off the unneeded (in her opinion) care of her own minion.

 

0o0o0

  
“That...” said Negi from behind the building he had been spying on the Power Rangers' fight from, before trailing off.  
  
Ryouga looked down at his student sympathetically. He knew that Negi looked up to the Power Rangers. To see them so brutally butcher an opponent in the middle of the market must have been rather disturbing for him. Ryouga raised his hand, unsure what to do. Almost without realizing what he was doing, he began to lower it toward Negi, preparing to pat him reassuringly on the head.  
  
“THAT WAS AWESOME!” cried Negi, causing Ryouga's hand to freeze in midair. That had not been the response he had been expecting.  
  
“Did you see that! The pig went and ate the Red Ranger's blade-shooter, and then the Pink Ranger went to save her, and the Yellow Ranger shot it in the foot, and it fell, and then it blew them into that building, and then they attacked it, and even though it could eat weapons, they killed it before it had time to get theirs! And then they beat it without using the Power Blaster, even though they were down two rangers! That was so cool! Wasn't it cool, Naruto!”  
  
At Naruto's silence, Negi seemed to snap out of his excited state. “Naruto,” he asked, sounding slightly worried.  
  
Naruto didn't respond. He was staring in horror at the destroyed remains of Ichiraku Ramen. Which, in addition to having bits of food scattered all over, now sported two human-sized holes through both the counter and the wall behind it. Also, a small fire seemed to be burning in the destroyed remains of the stove, which was now visible thanks to the holes through the counter in front of it.  
  
“NOOOOOOOOOO!”


	29. How Not To Cope With Greif

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, I forgot to write in Sakura. Oh well.

**Chapter 29: How Not To Cope With Grief**

  
Naruto sat on the ground before the ruins of his favorite restaurant. His knees were curled to his chest and his arms were wrapped tightly around his legs as he slowly rocked back and forth. Negi was grabbing his shoulder and saying something, but he didn't know what. Ryouga was also nearby, or at least he had been when Naruto had last seen him, but was currently out of his line of sight. Naruto didn't care enough to check to make sure Ryouga hadn't wandered off, nor did he care enough to try to make sense of Negi's words.  
  
Tears may have been streaming from Naruto's wide, unblinking, horror-filled eyes. At the moment he was too apathetic to check, let alone wipe them away if they were indeed there. He was vaguely aware that he was letting out sounds reminiscent to a tortured kitten, but again he didn't care enough to try to stop.  
  
Ichiraku Ramen, Naruto's favorite place in the world, was ruined. Destroyed. It wasn't superficial damage. The impacts of the two rangers had taken out the stove, the counter, and a few bar stools. This was not something that could be fixed quickly. This was something that would require replacement equipment. Expensive replacement equipment. And as far as he knew, the Ichirakus couldn't afford to just shell out money to replace the counter, let alone buy a new stove. It would be a long, long time before Ichiraku Ramen was back to normal, if ever.  
  
“Naruto!” cried a familiar voice, breaking through Naruto's horrified apathy. Or at least cracking it enough to get his attention, anyways. Naruto turned to face the man who had called him. “What's going on?!”  
  
“Old man...” sobbed Naruto. “It's terrible!”  
  
“What's terri-” Ichiraku Teuchi, the owner of Ichirakue Ramen, abruptly cut off, skidding to a stop as he laid eyes on his now destroyed restaurant. The man gasped, his eyes growing very, very wide. Only to suddenly drop to his knees, his hands raised toward the sky. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”  


0o0o0

  
Twang!  
  
An arrow streaked through the air, only to fall several feet short of its target.  
  
“Dammit,” grumbled Kiba, drawing another arrow from his quiver. It had been all of an hour since the fight against Pudgy Pig. After the traditional celebratory group high-five at the Command Center, Kiba had found himself wandering around the training grounds at Konoha. He wasn't supposed to be there, what with not actually being a ninja, but he hadn't ever let the rules dictate his actions before, and he wasn't about to start now.  
  
Besides, the Academy was closed right now.  
  
Eventually he'd stumbled across the archery field. This had reminded him of his own rather lackluster skill with his bow. It wasn't his fault that he sucked with it. He was from a clan that specialized in close-range combat. That was what he had been trained in his entire life, and that was what he knew. And even if he hadn't been, bows were a really unusual weapon for ninja to use. Shuriken and kunai were the go-to ranged weapons at the academy, and most ninja continued using them for the rest of their duration as ninja.  
  
So yeah, it was perfectly reasonable for him to not be very good with a bow. So it kind of sucked that it was his power weapon.  
  
Kiba knocked another arrow.  
  
It wasn't particularly fair. Everyone else had a weapon that was easy for them to use. Tenten had throwing daggers. Sakura had a sword. Ino had an axe. Even Yahiko could use his trident like a makeshift shinai when push came to shove. Which left him as the incompetent looking one whenever he tried to use his weapon.  
  
He could always fall back on his blade blaster and hand-to-hand combat skills, something he tended to do quite often. However, there was only so much you could do to ignore your intended role in the team. Sakura, Ino, and Yahiko were clearly the close-range fighters. Tenten was mid-range. And he was supposed to be long-range support.  
  
Another shot. Another miss.  
  
It even reflected in the way the Power manifested itself when he morphed. He was faster than the other rangers, but lacked the pure power that the others had. Which made sense for a ranged specialist: he was supposed to move away from the combat and rain support fire onto the enemy. The added speed worked wonders with his taijutsu-style, but he just couldn't land anything solid enough to keep Rita's monsters down without resorting to his weapons.  
  
And so he found himself in his current situation. Training with a weapon he wouldn't be caught dead using outside of combat as a ranger. It was humiliating enough that he was known as the Pink Ranger to the other rangers. There was no way he was going to be dropping any hints that could potentially cause his identity to be made public knowledge. So a smarter person probably wouldn't have been using the same distinctive white and pink bow that he used while morphed.  


0o0o0

  
Thwip. Shunk.  
  
A kunai streaked through the air, impaling itself several inches deep into a nearby hornet's nest. Before the wasps even had time to begin leaving the hive, the explosive tag attached to the weapon detonated, wiping all of the insect inhabitants of the hive out and setting fire to the tree it had been on.  
  
“F@&#ers,” swore Anko, drawing another kunai from a small storage compartment hidden within her trench coat (more commonly known to the civilian populace as a “pocket”) and attaching another explosive tag. It had been all of 45 minutes since she had found her favorite dango shop trashed. After the traditional temper tantrum and loud death threats toward whoever had done this, Anko had found herself blasting things to pieces in Training Ground 44 while growling expletives under her breath. She was perfectly within her rights to be there, but really wasn't supposed to be taking her frustrations out on the forest in as damaging of a method as she was using. However, Anko hadn't ever let the rules dictate her actions before, and she wasn't about to start now.  
  
Besides, she was pissed off.  
  
Whoever had destroyed her favorite restaurant was a dead man. Or woman. Or summoned animal. Or monster. Or alien sorceress. Or whatever the hell whoever had done it was. Seriously, what the hell was she supposed to do to get dango now?  
  
Eventually, Anko found that she was running out of explosive tags. Swearing, she place the kunai she had just drawn back into the small storage compartment hidden within her trench coat. If she was going to keep this up, she would have to return home and restock on explosive tags.  
  
On her way back, Anko found herself crossing the archery field. Surprisingly, it wasn't abandoned at the moment. Instinctively withdrawing into the shadows, Anko approached the archer, apparently undetected.  
  
Although “archer” may have been a little too generous. The person in question didn't seem to have very much experience with a bow. At all.  
  
As she got closer, Anko recognized the markings on the face of the shooter. It was an Inuzuka. Probably a genin, if that, judging by the age.  
  
 _...Wait a second._ Anko stared at the boy's bow. _That looks suspiciously familiar..._ Anko's face abruptly broke out into a malicious grin. _Oh, this is just too good._  
  
Silently, she left the archery field. She was going to have so much fun with this!  


0o0o0

  
Kiba suddenly shivered. He didn't know why, but he suddenly had a really, really bad feeling.  


0o0o0

  
Naruto had not been the only one absolutely crushed by the revelation of Ichiraku Ramen's destruction. When Ichiraku Teuchi, the (former) owner of Ichiraku Ramen arrived a few minutes later to see what Naruto's outburst had been about, only to discover his stand in ruins, he had had a surprisingly similar overblown reaction to Naruto. Ryouga was privy to this knowledge because he had been present for both people's loud, public wails of despair in reaction to discovering that Ichiraku Ramen had been destroyed. Naruto still refused to move from his spot in front of the ruins of Ichiraku. Teuchi briefly joined him, but Ayame dragged him off before more than a few minutes could pass, mentioning something about speaking with their insurance company.  
  
Ryouga observed his student silently, unsure of what to do. He briefly considered offering to teach Naruto the Shishi Hokodan as an attempt to distract him from his misery by channeling it into something destructive, but quickly decided against it. Attempting to distract someone from their misery with a technique that required one to focus on their misery just didn't work. He would know. He had tried it. Several times.  
  
Besides, he wasn't certain that handing a technique with such explosive power to someone as impulsive as Naruto was a good idea. Who knows what kind of property damage he could end up inflicting on a whim. Or in a tantrum.  
  
Ryouga paused, realizing that he had been unconsciously carving his hiraishin mark into the asphalt with his hands again. Swiftly smashing it into an unrecognizable pile of rubble, he turned back to his students. Naruto still hadn't moved.  
  
Neither, for that matter, had Negi. Ever since Naruto had dropped into the fetal position, Negi had been trying to rouse a response from his teammate. However, Naruto had been completely unresponsive. Nevertheless, Negi kept trying.  
  
Ryouga, on the other hand, stayed back. He just wasn't familiar enough with Naruto to know how to help in this situation. All he really knew was that Naruto was slower, weaker, and less skilled than his teammates. And stupid. And was no longer permitted to use the one thing that he could do better than anyone else. And had recently suffered enough brain damage to cause him to forget who one of his teammates was. And had just had his favorite place in the world destroyed.  
  
Ryouga paused. He wasn't familiar with Naruto, but he was familiar with depression. And now that he thought about it, Naruto seemed to have a lot of reasons to be unhappy at the moment.  
  
Carefully turning to bring Naruto and Negi back into his line of sight, Ryouga walked up to the two of them. Grabbing both of them by their shirt collars, Ryouga hefted the two boys to their feet.  
  
“Alright, enough of that,” he said, lowering the boys to the ground. Negi stood as soon as his feet touched the ground, but Naruto continued to hang limply. A scowl crossed Ryouga's face, and he began to shake him violently.  
  
“Sensei!” cried Negi. “What are you doing!?”  
  
Before Ryouga could respond, his shaking achieved the desired effect as Naruto suddenly seemed to regain his senses and began struggling to get loose. “There we go,” said Ryouga, dropping the boy to his feet.  
  
“WHAT THE HELL WAS-” began Naruto, only to abruptly cut off as Ryouga stabbed a finger toward his face.  
  
“Now that I've got your attention,” announced Ryouga, only to suddenly step backwards, withdrawing his finger from Naruto's face. With both his currently present students now in view, Ryouga started over. “Now that I've got your attention, I would like you to meet me tomorrow morning outside the Hokage Tower. And pack up enough clothing and equipment to last you a few days. We're going on a trip.”  
  
Naruto looked confused. Negi looked panicked. Ryouga grinned the insane grin of a Nerimian martial artist. Sometimes, when misery seemed to be out to get you, and everything around you served only to remind you of your failures, the best thing to do was to just get away from it all until you were strong enough to face it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those of you who have become used to my schedule of putting up a chapter every few nights, and have grown to love this fic: sucks to be you. My buffer is empty. This fic is now officially caught up with what I've actually written.
> 
> Still, it's not all bad. I've yet to write the chapter after the next one (or even most of the next one). And this is a point where one or more of several things can happen. The fanfiction.net version of my profile actually has a poll regarding this, but since I don't know how to make those here, I'll just ask any readers who feel like it to post their thoughts on the following potential storylines.
> 
> The Wave Arc - Yeah, everyone does it. And the wave arc will happen. The question is whether or not I'll bother showing it. And whether I write it or it passes in the background, it will have a twist.
> 
> Green With Evil - Rita finally pulls out her stolen power coin and throws an evil Power Ranger against the other rangers. Again, this is an arc that's going to happen. But unlike with the Wave Arc, I fully intent to write this one. The question is when it's going to happen.
> 
> The Kyoto Field Trip - An adaptation of the Kyoto arc from Negima. 3-A will be involved. To those unfamiliar with Negima, the original Negima storyline involved kidnappings, mercenaries, duels, shikigami, and the resurrection of a demon god.
> 
> Training Trip - A Ranma 1/2 style training trip. Easy enough to add into one of the other storylines going on.
> 
> Kiba, Minion of Anko - Anko's got some blackmail material on Kiba, and is using it to make his life hell. This one is probably going to stay mostly in the background, occasionally drawing attention to itself with gags.
> 
> Puella Magi Hinata Magica - Originally a joke option on the poll, but it seems to have drawn attention in the poll (well, as much as you can call two votes "attention), so I'm going to list it here. Hinata, doomed to the role of a branch member since failing her genin exam, finds a way to escape her destiny. And all it will cost is her soul.


	30. Setting Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryouga sets Team Five up for its first C-Rank mission.

**Chapter 30: Setting Out**

 

“Hu... You sure they can handle this?” asked Jiraiya.

 

“Of course they can,” replied Ryouga, trying to project as much confidence into the statement as possible. “They're my students.” In truth, Ryouga was very much concerned over whether his team could handle it. But the only way for one to grow was to test one's limits. And he really needed an excuse to get his team out of the village if he wanted to train them without half the village learning his techniques. Certain members of his team didn't seem to understand the meaning of discretion.

 

Plus, it would help keep Naruto's mind off of all the things he had to be depressed about lately. Probably.

 

“Anyways, it's just a C-Rank mission. How badly could they possibly screw it up?”

 

“I seem to recall a certain horribly botched D-Rank involving them happening not too long ago,” Jiraiya jibed.

 

“That doesn't count!” defended Ryouga. “That mission had outside interference! Plus I got lost!” 

 

“Oh, and that can't possibly happen here,” sarcastically retorted the Hokage. A fact Ryouga was having an increasingly difficult time remembering.

 

“Hmph,” snorted Ryouga. “If it comes down to it, I'll handle the mission myself.”

 

“Well on the plus side, it'll be hard to botch it as badly as that D-Rank.” Ryouga suppressed a growl. Sometimes, he felt like he was dealing with Ranma all over again. Except Jiraiya was the Hokage, so responding by beating him up would probably end with him in a prison cell. Or a hospital bed. The man was the Hokage for a reason.

 

“Look, are you going to sign the thing or not?” demanded Ryouga.

 

“Fine, fine,” replied Jiraiya, not even trying to hide his amused smirk as he pulled a large stamp from his kimono. “But if it goes bad, it's on your head.”

 

“It's just a C-Rank!”

 

Despite his frustration from dealing with Jiraiya, when Ryouga finally left the Hokage Tower, he did so with a grin on his face. Inside his backpack was a scroll for his team's next mission. He'd already read the details of it, and while it wasn't anything to write home about, it would get them out of the village for a while. Which, incidentally, was why he'd picked it to begin with. Besides, after doing D-Rank missions for so long, it would probably seem like the best thing in the world to his team. All that was left was to grab some extra supplies and meet his team.

 

And he had all night left to do so. There was nothing on his plate until the next morning, and ten hours was plenty of time to find a store to get supplies from. Probably.

 

And even if it wasn't enough time, he had plenty of experience camping out without any supplies at all. Besides, the mission was going to be taking place at a nearby town. So it wasn't like they weren't going to have a chance to get supplies for a training trip, even if he couldn't find a store. Yeah, everything was going to be fine. So why did he feel like he was forgetting something?

 

0o0o0

 

It took all of 8 minutes after waking up for Kiba to realize he'd overslept. It took all of 2 minutes for him to get dressed and rush his way out the door, ignoring the strange look he got from his sister Hana. 

 

He was supposed to have met up with the other Power Rangers (and Lee) for some early morning training nearly fifteen minutes ago. So he booked it all the way to the training ground they were supposed to meet at. There weren't many people out at this time of day, but for some reason, most of the ones that were out either snickered or looked surprised as he passed them. It made him feel like he was being made the butt of a joke he wasn't aware of. And that kind of pissed him off.

 

Oh well. If the other assholes around the village wanted to make fun of him for not making it all the way to genin, let them. He'd remember it when he eventually became Hokage. _Although,_ he silently noted to himself, _I should probably find out just what it is they're saying about me. Ino will know. Probably. And if she doesn't already, she'll look into it as soon as I ask her to._

 

By the time he finally made it to the clearing, everyone had already started training. Tenten was throwing various weapons at Yahiko, who was running around trying to deflect everything she threw at him with a bamboo sword. Sakura was sparring with Ino. Lee seemed to be overseeing the whole thing while balancing upside down on one hand and attempting to scrawl notes on a notepad he had clenched between his chin and his chest with the other. So, a typical training session for them. 

 

What wasn't typical was the way everyone froze in place as he finally showed up (except Tenten, who nailed Yahiko in the forehead with a hatchet. Thank goodness for forehead protectors). 

 

“...Hey, guys,” said Kiba, grinning nervously. Something was obviously wrong.

 

“That's an... interesting look for you, Kiba,” commented Ino, finally breaking the stunned silence.

 

“It is a most unusual fashion decision,” added Lee, climbing back to his feet.

 

Kiba immediately looked down. His clothes weren't on backwards. He hadn't forgotten his pants. His fly wasn't down. His shoes were on the right feet. _Wait..._ His hands flew up to his head. Nope, Naruto hadn't shaved his head again. 

 

“And he doesn't know what's going on,” stated Yahiko flatly, as he held his forehead protector in place while Tenten attempted to pull the hatchet out of it.

 

“I don't know what's going on about... What going-ons are...” Kiba paused to try to configure his words into a functional sentence. “What is it that is going on that I do not know about?” Kiba finally asked.

 

“Well, I think it works,” said Sakura, ignoring the question.

 

“You would,” replied Ino. 

 

“Oh? Something wrong with pink?”

 

“Yosh,” shouted Lee. “We wholeheartedly support your youthful decision not to be bound by what is typically considered acceptable fashion for members of the Inuzuka clan.”

 

“Guys, would you just tell me what's going on?” demanded Kiba, becoming increasingly annoyed by the situation.

 

“I take it,” grunted Tenten, before she finally wrenched the hatchet free of Yahiko's forehead protector, “that you weren't in on the decision to dye your hair pink, then?”

 

“WHAT?” Kiba immediately yanked a kunai out of his weapons pouch, checking his reflection in the metal. Raising his hands to the sky, Kiba made his wrath known to the world. “DAMN YOU, NARUTO!”

 

From her perch in a nearby tree, Anko snickered. 

 

0o0o0

 

From outside the Hokage Tower, Naruto felt a chill run down his spine. Shivering, he turned to his teammate. “Hey Negi, did you just get the feeling that something bad is about to happen?”

 

“Not really,” replied Negi.

 

“Oh,” replied Naruto. “I guess it's just me, then.”

 

Before Negi had time to ask what Naruto was talking about, a flash of light from somewhere behind him suddenly caught the attention of the two genin. “Alright, who's ready to finally go on- Where's Sakura?”

 

“Huh?” asked Naruto. “Is she supposed to be here too?”

 

“What do you mean- Aw crap, I forgot to tell her about what's going on. One moment.” Ryouga started running through handseals.

 

“What exactly is going on?” asked Negi. “You didn't tell us anything other than to meet you here.”

 

“I'll tell you once you're all here,” replied Ryouga. “No sense wasting time since I'll be right back with her anyway.” Several seconds of awkward silence went by as Ryouga continued to run through a really long string of handseals. “...Okay. This is going to take a bit anyways, so there's no real point in standing here in silence while I do the handseals for this technique. Here's what's going on. Last night, Naruto seemed really upset. So I did some thinking. And I realized that you've got a lot to be upset over lately, and not a lot to be happy about. So I decided to do something to surprise you, and hopefully improve your mood. Today, we, Team Five, are finally going to be doing our first- Oh wait, I'm done. Nevermind!” Ryouga suddenly vanished in a flash of light.

 

“...There's no way that wasn't on purpose,” said Naruto.

 

0o0o0

 

Kiba's loud, angry rant on what he was going to do to Naruto the next time he saw him was suddenly interrupted by a flash of light from behind Sakura. Yelping in surprise, the pink haired girl spun around, launching a backhand strike at the man suddenly standing behind her.

 

Catching her hand in his palm, Ryouga looked down at the girl. “Sakura, we're going on our first C-Rank mission. Meet us at the south gate in an hour. And bring enough supplies to last for a few days.” Immediately, Ryouga began running through the handseals for the Hiraishin technique.

 

“Wait, what?” asked Sakura. “Isn't this kind of short notice?”

 

“Sorry,” replied Ryouga with a slight cringe. “I meant to tell you yesterday, but I forgot.” At her look of anger, he quickly spread the blame. “And it looks like Negi and Naruto didn't tell you either.” Some bad habits died hard.

 

“They're not my jounin-sensei,” Sakura replied flatly.

 

“No, they aren't, ” admitted Ryouga. “I'm sorry.” An awkward silence filled the area. Well, awkward for Ryouga. For Sakura, it was just an annoyed silence. 

 

“So, what's the mission?”

 

“Well,” said Ryouga, “I'll tell you later, bye!” A second flash of light heralded his disappearance. 

 

Sakura groaned. This was not a good precedent for her first C-Rank mission. _Oh well. At least it can't possibly go as badly as our first D-Rank. Wait a second!_ Turning back to the rest of the group, Sakura made sure that the other Power Rangers were all still paying attention to her. Which, fortunately, they were. Casually, she tapped her communicator, the unspoken signal between her and the other Power Rangers to ditch whoever might be listening. “Sorry guys, but it looks like I've got to go get ready for my mission.”

 

“I'll help you,” said Ino, quickly following Sakura as she left the training ground.

 

“A C-Rank mission?!” whined Yahiko. “That's not fair! I'm going to find my jounin sensei and get him to take my team on one!” And Yahiko stomped out of the training ground.

 

“And there goes my target,” said Tenten. “Looks like I'm done for the day, too.” And Tenten left.

 

“Wait, Naruto is on Sakura's team,” said Kiba, having just realized this. “I need to go kill him before he leaves the village!” And so he rushed off as well.

 

Lee looked at the now deserted training ground. “What just happened?”

 

0o0o0

 

When Ryouga finally reappeared, Naruto had been quickly approaching the end of his patience. Which, considering that he remembered being on a team with Kakashi, was unusually short. Must have had something to do with his favorite restaurant being destroyed, suffering memory loss, being forbidden from using shadow clones, failing a D-Rank mission, and his attempt to time travel failing so horribly that he wiped Sasuke from existence, all of which happened within the course of a week.

 

However, when he heard from Ryouga that they were finally going on a C-Rank mission, all was good again. And Negi had been even more excited than him. So much so that neither of them thought twice (or even once, really) about letting Ryouga lead them to the village gate to wait for Sakura. And amazingly enough, they actually made it there without leaving the village once.

 

0o0o0

 

Shortly after leaving the training ground, everyone met back up at the Command Center. As soon as the last ranger arrived, Sakura turned to Zordon. “Zordon, my jounin-sensei says that I'm going to be out of the village for a few days. I'm not sure if I'll be able to slip away to join any fights if Rita attacks.” Sakura turned back toward the other Power Rangers. “Do you think you can handle it without me while I'm gone?”

 

Yahiko actually scoffed. “That's it? I thought this was about something important.”

 

Ino elbowed him. “This is important, stupid. If Rita ever beats us, the village would be next.”

 

“Don't worry,” said Tenten. “Even if we're down a ranger, we can handle anything Rita throws at us.”

 

“But the Power Blaster-” started Kiba.

 

“Wasn't needed to take down that last one,” interrupted Yahiko.

 

“The situation may be more dire than you believe,” declared Zordon. “Without Sakura, not only will the Power Blaster become impossible to use, but the Tyrannosaurus Zord will not have a pilot. And while it does have an autopilot, it won't be able to fight on its own. Should Rita attack with a giant monster, you will need to form the Megazord immediately. Otherwise, the Tyrannosaurus Zord may be destroyed.”

 

“We usually do that anyway,” said Ino, “but we'll keep that in mind.”

 

“Furthermore, you will be missing a member of your team. Monsters that would normally be difficult to defeat may prove outright impossible. In the event that Rita discovers this, she may attempt to take advantage of it. You must be on your guard.”

 

“Zordon, what if Sakura were to give her power morpher to someone else?” asked Tenten. “Temporarily!” she quickly added, upon seeing Sakura's outraged look. “Just to cover for her until she got back!”

 

“Perhaps,” admitted Zordon. “But it would have to be someone who could be trusted.”

 

 _Lee,_ thought all the rangers at once.

 

“Someone skilled in combat,” Zordon added.

 

 _Definitely Lee_.

 

“Someone who would be able to keep their role as a Power Ranger secret.”

 

 _Not Lee,_ thought everyone present.

 

“I think I'll just hold on to my morpher for the time being,” said Sakura with a slightly forced smile. 

 

“Don't worry,” said Kiba. “We can handle Rita with just four rangers for a few days. Besides, if we can't handle one of us being gone for a few days, how are we supposed to handle it when the rest of you start going on C-Rank missions as well?”

 

Zordon definitely did not break eye-contact and whistle 'innocently.'

 

“Or when we start making Chuunin and are gone all the time?” added Tenten.

 

Zordon continued to not break eye-contact and whistle 'innocently.'

 

“One day, we're going to make jounin,” announced Tenten. “And when that happens, we're probably going to need to be able to handle Rita's monsters one-on-one. Just think of this as the first of many tests of the Power Rangers.”

 

Zordon couldn't help it. He looked away and started whistling nervously. Nobody noticed anything strange about it.

 

0o0o0

 

Deep within her underground lair, the evil intergalactic space witch Rita Repulsa rubbed her thumb across a Power Coin thoughtfully. A power coin embedded with a picture of a dragon.

 

The Green Ranger. It was her ace in the hole, her secret weapon to use against the Power Rangers. Aside from Cyclopsis, she had no better weapon to wield against them. And unlike Cyclopsis, she would be able to use the coin at a whim.

 

The trick was finding the right time to strike. If she struck while the Power Rangers were at full strength, there was a good chance that her ranger would be overwhelmed, by sheer numbers if nothing else. But if she waited until the time was right, she just might be able to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

 

Since her most recent loss, Rita had been growing impatient. It was why she had been watching the Power Rangers carefully through her crystal ball. As such, she was very much aware of Sakura's impending absence. But would being down one ranger be a sufficient advantage for her to win? 

 

Rita continued to contemplate her next move.

 

0o0o0

 

An hour and a half later, Sakura finally met up with Team Five. At the west gate. After heading down to the south gate that they were supposed to have met Sakura at, Team Five finally headed out on their first C-Rank mission.

 

Roughly fifteen minutes later, the group passed an old man walking down the road in the opposite direction. Most of them ignored him, but for some reason Naruto's eyes widened, as if in recognition. Slowly, he followed the figure with his eyes. And Naruto choked back a sob as Team Five passed Tazuna on his way to Konoha while they were on their way out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the poll on fanfiction.net, we're going to end up with "Green With Evil." I'm going to give it one more week, then we'll be finalized on something.


	31. The Hard Knock Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto has a nightmare, and Ryouga begins training Team Five. Kind of.

**Chapter 31: The Hard Knock Life**

 

Naruto grinned. He had made excellent time on his trip back to Konoha. Tazuna hadn't even been assigned a team yet. For the time being, all he needed to do was wait.

 

Hopefully, this wouldn't take too long. If all went well, he might even be able to handle the Wave Mission and get back to Team Five before anyone noticed he'd swapped out with a shadow clone. Although even if they did notice, they wouldn't be able to do anything about it until after the Wave Mission had already started.

 

A growl from his stomach reminded Naruto that he hadn't had anything to eat since he'd left the village. _Better take care of that while I've got the time._ Pausing to create a shadow clone, Naruto hopped down from the rooftop he'd been spying on Wave's bridge builder from and took off toward the market district.

 

 _Let's see... Where should I eat?_ A patron from a nearby barbeque shop poked their head out and waved at Naruto. Naruto waved back, but kept going. _I don't feel like barbeque right now._

 

Anko passed by gnawing on a stick of dango. Naruto followed the kunoichi with his eyes, then kept going. Dango wasn't doing it for him either.

 

A hot dog vendor waved frantically trying to get his attention, but Naruto ignored him as he continued looking for somewhere to eat.

 

“Over here, Naruto!” cried a voice, drawing his attention to a rather expensive looking restaurant. The owner was smiling and waving at him. “Over here! We can feed you!”

 

Naruto looked at the restaurant owner. “Do you sell ramen?”

 

Immediately, the smile switched from warm to mocking. “Ramen? We don't sell that crap here. There was only one place in the village that sold that, and now its gone.”

 

Suddenly, Naruto found himself in front of the destroyed remains of Ichiraku Ramen, which now sported a sign declaring it to be for sale. “No...”

 

“Gone,” repeated the restaurant owner. 

 

“It can't be,” gasped Naruto. “They said they were going to fix it.”

 

“Gone!” Naruto started breathing faster as the word echoed throughout the village, getting louder with each repetition. “GONE GONE GONE GONE **GONEGONE**!”

 

“NOOOOOOO!” screamed Naruto, dropping to his knees and wailing.

 

0o0o0

 

“Oy, bro,” said Chamo, shaking Negi. Or trying to, anyway. The size difference between the ermine and the boy made actually shaking him pretty much impossible for the stoat. “It's just a dream. Wake up.”

 

“Sis,” moaned Negi, shivering. “Sis, no. Run.”

 

“NOOOOOO!” Naruto suddenly wailed from the other side of the tent. 

 

“Oh come on,” grumbled the ermine. “You too?”

 

“The ramen,” cried Naruto. “Not the ramen! Anything but the ramen!”

 

“Damn you, Ranma!” growled Ryouga, from by the tent entrance.

 

“Is everyone here having nightmares?”

 

Sakura did not respond, as she was sleeping contently. 

 

0o0o0

 

A few hours later, a loud snort awakened Chamo from his slumber. Instincts honed by centuries of a species of small predatory mammals living in a world of much larger predators screamed at him. In an instant, Chamo snapped into full wakefulness.

 

There was a bear in the tent.

 

It wasn't a particularly large bear, but it was significantly larger than the ermine. And everyone else was still asleep. Ryouga was somehow managing this while the bear was stepping on him. 

 

“Bro,” Chamo whispered through clenched teeth, trying frantically to shake Negi awake while remaining as discreet as possible (and failing at both). “Bro!” he repeated louder, as the bear finally took notice of him. “BRO!” 

 

The bear stood up on its hind legs and growled loudly.

 

“AUUUGH!”

 

Ryouga groaned and abruptly rolled onto his side, toppling the bear that had been standing on his chest in the process. The tent shifted as the bear crashed into the side of it, waking up Naruto.

 

“Wha?” muttered Naruto, only to freeze up at the sight of the bear. Likewise, the bear stopped growling as it looked at Naruto. Chamo even stopped screaming. For a long, tense moment, silence filled the tent. Then Naruto abruptly slammed his hands into his go-to hand seal. 

 

“KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!”

 

In short order, the tent was destroyed, everyone was awake, and the bear was fleeing from the remains of the tent.

 

0o0o0

 

“Alright,” said Ryouga, once the remains of the tent had been recovered and packed away. “Since we're all up anyways, it's time to train.”

 

Three miserable faces stared back at him. “Sensei, the sun isn't even up yet,” said Sakura.

 

Ryouga snorted dismissively. “It's fine. You all had several hours of sleep, and the sun will be rising in less than an hour. This way, we can get some extra training in before your mission. Besides, do you really want to sleep without a tent?” Ryouga's declaration was met with groans. Ignoring them, Ryouga picked up his pack and slipped his arms into the straps. “Let's start with some jogging. All of you grab your packs, we're not going to be coming back here afterwards. We might as well make some headway while we're at it.”

 

0o0o0

 

After 2 straight hours of 'jogging', Ryouga called out to his team to stop. Leading them into a nearby clearing, he waited a few moments for them to catch their breaths. Oddly, Naruto didn't actually seem to need to catch his. Sakura and Negi, on the other hand, were gasping for air. _That's strange,_ he thought. _I would have pegged Naruto to have fared the worst, but he doesn't even seem tired. After him, I would have expected Negi, but he seemed to be using some sort of ninjutsu to help support him near the end. It looks like Sakura actually came out the worst of the bunch, even though she seems to be in the best physical condition._

 

“Alright,” said Ryouga once Negi and Sakura had receovered, in his best approximation of a professor teaching a class. “Today, you're going to learn some offensive ki manipulation.” Ryouga paused at the confused looks his genin were giving him, then corrected himself. “Chakra manipulation.” Reaching up, the jounin withdrew one of his bandannas from his head and held it before him.

 

“Chakra, of course, is what we use to generate ninjutsu and genjutsu. However, it also has several uses outside of that. Take this bandanna, for instance. Normally, it's just a piece of cloth. However, if you add a little chakra...” Abruptly, the cloth straightened in his hand. Ryouga tapped the side of it against his hand, resulting in a knocking noise. “It becomes as solid as a plate of steel.” He then threw it through a nearby tree, leaving a bandanna shaped hole. “And as sharp as a butcher's knife.” With a sealless shunshin, Ryouga caught the bandanna out of midair.

 

“Holy cow,” said Naruto, looking at the hole in the tree. “You did that with a bandanna?”

 

Internally, Ryouga grinned as he turned to face the direction Naruto's voice had come from. _This is going better than I thought. It looks like even Naruto's paying attention._ Ryouga tossed the now limp strip of cloth over to Naruto before walking back to his team. “Admittedly, this isn't a normal bandanna. I've had my bandannas with me for a long time, and have honed them to the point that they can easily take on a blade's edge. You could still get that effect with an ordinary bandanna, but it would be more difficult to achieve.”

 

Negi and Sakura stared at the bandanna as Naruto focused chakra into it. Immediately, it snapped back into the blade-like shape it had taken earlier. “Ooh,” said all three of them. And then Naruto ran his finger along the edge. 

 

“Wait! Don't do that!” yelled Ryouga, as Naruto yelped in pain and jerked his now bleeding finger away from the razor-sharp edge of the hardened strip of cloth, dropping the bandanna to the ground. “What part of 'as sharp as a butcher's knife' did you not understand?” 

 

“Ow ow ow ow ow!” cried Naruto, clutching his bleeding finger, while Negi stood to the side looking conflicted. 

 

Ryouga grabbed the bandanna from the ground and tied it back around his head, then started digging through his pack for his first-aid kit. 

 

“You idiot,” yelled Sakura. “Why would you test a blade on your finger? Didn't you learn anything from when you first got your kunai?”

 

“But it was made of cloth!” replied Naruto. “How can cloth be so sharp?”

 

“Did you not see sensei just throw it through a tree?”

 

Having retrieved a set of bandages and some disinfectant wipes from his pack, Ryouga turned back to Naruto. “Alright, give me your hand.” Ryouga took a moment to disinfect Naruto's hand with the wipes, when he made a surprising discovery.

 

“The cut's gone.”

 

“What?” said Negi, examining the wound. Or rather, the lack of wound.

 

Sakura failed to look even vaguely surprised. “So unfair,” she grumbled.

 

“Naruto, what happened to your cut?” asked Negi, looking confused. “You were just bleeding from it.”

 

“I, uh... heal fast?” said Naruto, sounding like he was asking rather than telling.

 

Ryouga stared at the unblemished flesh of Naruto's finger. And then he grinned. “Naruto, did you just use a sealless healing ninjutsu on your finger?”

 

“No.”

 

“I didn't think so.” Ryouga's grin turned sinister. “Wait here. I've got an idea.”

 

0o0o0

 

Naruto struggled in his sack, but to no avail. Whatever it was made of, it wasn't something he could just tear his way out of. That he wasn't sure if it was due to the material being strong or his twelve-year-old body being weak wasn't particularly reassuring. “I'm telling you, there was a bear in the tent, I swear. I wouldn't have destroyed your tent with my shadow clones if there wasn't.”

 

“He's telling the truth, sensei,” Negi chimed in. “Chamo said that he saw it as well.”

 

“I believe you,” replied Ryouga, hoisting Naruto into the air via a rope tied to the sack the genin was trapped in.

 

“Then why are you doing this?!” shouted Naruto. The genin was bound in a sack of unknown material, with one arm on the outside and one on the inside, thus rendering handseals unusable. Furthermore, a length of cloth had been tied tightly around his hand on the arm outside of the sack, trapping his hand in a 'pointing position'. A rope was attached to the back of the sack, and Ryouga was in the process of tying the end of it to a tree branch, leaving Naruto dangling helpless from the tree. A few feet across from him, a massive boulder hung suspended from another tree by a rope. Several more boulders sat nearby, having been collected by Ryouga before he'd started setting Naruto up in this contraption. It didn't take much of a leap of logic to figure out what Ryouga was planning. Even Naruto had managed it. Unfortunately for him, he hadn't managed it until after Ryouga had trapped him in the sack.

 

“To teach you the Breaking Point,” Ryouga explained while failing to actually explain anything to the boy at all.

 

“What the heck is the Breaking Point, and what does it have to do with you swinging rocks at me?!”

 

Having secured the sack containing Naruto to the tree, Ryouga hopped down next to a nearby boulder (one of the several he had collected earlier). He then turned to face Naruto. “This,” he said, stabbing a single finger into the boulder, “is the Breaking Point.” And the boulder exploded.

 

Naruto, Negi, and Sakura stared at him, flabbergasted. 

 

“All objects have a weak point within them, a place more vulnerable to damage. Bakusai Tenketsu, the Breaking Point, teaches you to locate these weak points and attack them.” Ryouga motioned toward the pile of rubble that had once been a boulder. “The results speak for themselves. Once you've mastered this technique, you'll never be cornered again.”

 

“That sounds amazing,” said Negi, “but-”

 

“AMAZING?” interrupted Naruto. “THAT SOUNDS AWESOME!”

 

“Right,” agreed Negi. “But what does that have to do with throwing rocks at him?”

 

Ryouga managed to look incredulous. “That's how you learn the Breaking Point. You strap into a harness binding all your limbs except for one arm, then you have rocks swung at you and try to hit the breaking points on them before they slam into you.”

 

Negi stared at him in horror. Naruto suddenly looked incredibly conflicted. Sakura dug some beef jerky out of her pack and started eating it.

 

“That sounds dangerous,” said Negi.

 

“It is,” replied Ryouga. “That's why I'm not teaching you and Sakura it yet. However, Naruto's surprising stamina and fast healing indicates that he's got enough ki- CHAKRA to survive the training. So he gets to learn it first.”

 

The Kyuubi started laughing. Naruto thought some bad words at it.

 

“Don't worry,” Ryouga added upon seeing Negi's concerned look. “Once you and Sakura are strong enough, I'll teach it to you too.”

 

The Kyuubi started laughing louder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shunshin no Jutsu – Body Flicker Technique: A ninjutsu that allows one to briefly move at absurd speeds, far beyond what one is normally capable of. Generally used for travel as opposed to battle, due to the difficulty of keeping track of one's surroundings while using it.


	32. Training Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Naruto tortures himself with a large boulder, Ryouga attempts to teach Negi and Sakura how to throw bandannas.

**Chapter 32: Training Time**

  
"AAAAAAAUUUUUGH!"

The rock slammed into the screaming boy, barely even slowing down as it finished its arc through the air.

Whump.

"No! You need to hit the breaking point! Don't just scream and cover your face with your free arm! Poke your finger at the rock and hope it explodes, too!" Despite the inherent danger of the training, Naruto grinned maliciously. It wasn't often he'd been playing the role of tormentor lately, and it felt better than he remembered. Even if he was _also_ playing the role of the victim at the moment. _Speaking of which..._ Naruto glared at his languid, unmoving counterpart trapped in a bag and slowly swinging back and forth from the branch of a tree. "Hey! Are you even listening to me? I know you're not unconscious! You're breathing wrong for that."

A twitch ran through the Naruto in the bag, and abruptly his head snapped back up. "I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"

"Yeah, yeah," the shadow clone replied, as he grabbed the rope attached to the massive rock and began pulling it back into position for another round. "You're just mad that I'm the one dropping the rock and you're the one eating it."

"YES! YES I AM! HOW 'BOUT I GET OUT OF THIS THING AND YOU TRY A FEW ROUNDS!?"

"No thanks. I think I'm enjoying this side more than you would, anyway."

"SCREW YOU!"

 

0o0o0

  
Negi stared at the pair of Narutos again. "...Sensei, are you sure he's alright?"

"He's fine," scoffed Ryouga. "If he's got energy to yell at his clone like that, he's got energy to keep going. Just focus on forming that bandanna into a blade."

Negi looked down at his bandanna sheepishly. It wasn't like he was trying to put off his exercise. He really was worried about Naruto. That he wasn't making much progress had nothing to do with it. Or at least very little.

"But I thought we weren't letting him use shadow clones anymore," added Negi, in what was totally not a stalling attempt. Really. "I mean, they can cause brain damage, right?"

"Only when he uses a bunch of them at once for an extended period of time," replied Ryouga. "Don't worry. I looked into it after he hospitalized himself that first time. As long as he's only using one or only using them for a short period of time, it shouldn't cause any problems. " Despite his assurance, Ryouga frowned. _It shouldn't have even been possible for it to be a problem to begin with. Shadow clones are way too chakra intensive for genin to make, and most jounin can't make as many as Naruto can. And even the ones that can make that many can't sustain them for more than a few minutes. How the hell is it that a genin can make hundreds of them and sustain them for hours at a time?_

Negi snuck a glance over at Sakura, who was currently pulling her bandanna out of a tree. Somehow, Sakura had been able to make her bandanna into a blade on the first try. So had Naruto, now that he thought about it, and Naruto never got **anything** right on the first try. He, on the other hand, was having trouble even getting it to stiffen up.

Negi had never had these kinds of issues before. Ryouga assured him that it had happened to him too, back when he was first starting out, and that he would get better with practice. But from Negi's point of view, it was extremely unsettling. Both of his teammates had been able to get blade-like hardness right from the start. Naruto had actually drawn blood on his first try (even if it was his own blood), and Sakura had proven piercing power. So why was his bandanna so frustratingly flaccid?

Admittedly, Negi did have a theory about his troubles. Unfortunately, if his theory was right, he was going to have a _lot_ more trouble with the exercise than he hoped he would. ...Well, technically he was already having a lot more trouble than he hoped he would, but if his theory was right, he might not be able to get it at all.

He really hoped his theory wasn't right.

 

0o0o0

  
As Sakura tugged her bandanna out of the tree she had embedded it in, Ryouga walked up to her. "Alright," said her sensei. "It looks like you've got the sharpness aspect down. Let's move on to something a little trickier."

Sakura looked at Ryouga interestedly. "Finally. I knew there had to be something more to this. This was way too easy for that to be all there was to it."

Some distance away, Negi's shoulders drooped. Something that did not escape Sakura's attention.

"Ah! I mean, this was very hard!" Sakura quickly lied, only to immediately see the problem with her claim. "I mean, uh... It's just that I have very good chakra control. And Negi and Naruto don't."

"But Naruto also did it on his first try," said Ryouga, looking a little confused.

Negi's shoulders drooped further.

Sakura decided to try a different angle. "Everyone has some things they're bad at! I mean, look at me! I can't... uh... I can't sing worth a damn!" At Sakura's odd claim, a look of understanding dawned on Ryouga's face.

"Don't worry, Sakura! I'm sure you have a beautiful singing voice!" chimed in Naruto, only to suddenly look confused. _Wait. Why did I say that?_

Sakura stiffened. _Count on Naruto to screw up a situation like this while trying to help._ "I don't, really. Absolutely terrible at it."

Ryouga just looked on in amusement. "Actually, Negi seems to progressing at about a normal rate. It's just that you and Naruto are weirdly good at this. I didn't have this down reliably until I was fifteen, and even then, I couldn't make them stay solid for more than a few seconds at a time." Ryouga smirked. "That said, I managed to get this next part down much pretty quick. Comparatively, anyways."

Withdrawing another bandanna from his head, revealing yet another beneath it, Ryouga spun the piece of cloth around his fingers, then flung it toward the trees nearby. Sakura, Negi, Naruto, and Naruto's shadow clone watched as the bandanna flew straight toward the gap between the trees, apparently missing its target.

"Hah!" said Naruto's shadow clone, pointing at the poorly aimed headband. "You missed!"

Abruptly, the bandanna swerved to the side, shearing a large chunk off the back of a tree. A feat that was met with stunned silence from the genin.

"By manipulating your chakra in the bandanna," explained Ryouga, "it's possible to alter its trajectory even after you've thrown it."

"Hah!" said Naruto, pointing at his shadow clone with his free hand. "You're an idi-OOF!" Unfortunately, his insult was interrupted by a large rock slamming into him.

"Oops, looks like my hand slipped," said Naruto's shadow clone. "Remember to hit the breaking point!"

"HATE YOU!"

 

0o0o0

  
An hour later, Ryouga called an end to their respective training sessions. Neither Negi nor Naruto had made any progress in their training. Sakura, on the other hand, had progressed to the point that she could influence the vectors of up to three different bandannas simultaneously while maintaining iron-like hardness in each of them. It had been a frustrating blow to Negi's ego to see both of his teammates accomplish with ease something he didn't seem to be making any progress on, and Naruto was absolutely livid by the time Ryouga cut him down from his torture sack. Needless to say, both of them had built of quite a bit of frustration.

"Alright," said Ryouga. "Now that you've all had time to warm up, I want all of you come at me at once. Our next training is a full-contact, three on one sparring session against me. Feel free to use whatever weapons, jutsu, and tricks you've got on your person. If any of you can so much as land a single strike on me, I'll teach you something of your choice. Or in Naruto's case, give you the option to stop learning a certain jutsu if you'd prefer that instead."

"No way!" yelled Naruto. "I'm learning this jutsu, even if it kills me!"

"Just an offer," replied Ryouga. "I'm more than willing to teach you whatever you'd like. Assuming, of course, you can land a hit." Ryouga paused to inspect his students. Naruto was snarling openly. Negi was trying but failing to completely hide his frustration. Sakura was actually grinning. Ryouga smirked. _Looks like Negi's the only one who understands the magnitude of what I'm asking them to do._ "Well? What are you waiting for? Let's go."

"Bunshin no Jutsu!"

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Ten Negis suddenly appeared in a circle around the original, followed promptly by several dozen Narutos. In an instant, the horde of ninja surged forward, apparently attempting to overwhelm with quantity what they couldn't hope to match with quality.

As the swarm of clones converged on him, Ryouga began lashing out. Keeping himself restrained to light taps, just enough to stun, the jounin began rapidly clearing out the horde of mostly orange-clad ninja. Every few seconds he would swipe his way through an illusory Negi, although he couldn't seem to find the real thing.

"KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!"

Another wave of shadow clones joined the first. Ryouga snorted. Naruto had apparently decided he just wasn't using enough clones. The problem was that Naruto was pouring in so many clones that his teammates couldn't do anything. _At this rate, Negi and Sakura are going to be stuck at the sidelines until Naruto gets a clue. And that could take a while._

 

0o0o0

 **Seconds Earlier**

  
"Bunshin no Jutsu!"

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

As the swarm of ninja burst forward, Negi grabbed the Sakura and the real Naruto by their arms. "Wait!"

Both Sakura and Naruto aborted their rush to join the fray. "What?" they asked in unison.

"Hold on," Negi stated, then turned to his blond teammate. "Naruto, quick, make a bunch more clones!"

"Easy," replied Naruto, his hands flying into a cross seal. Immediately, three hundred more shadow clones burst into existence, then dove into the fray. "But no whining about it if I get the hit in first."

 _You won't,_ Negi nearly muttered, but the boy managed to stop himself at the last second. "That's fine," he said instead. "Now that we've got some time, listen. Ryouga is a jounin. If we just attack him head on, we're not going to get anywhere. We need a plan."

"I've got a plan," replied Naruto.

"Naruto, swarming Sensei with clones until you get a lucky hit is not a plan," replied Sakura.

"Yes it is," replied Naruto. "Watch! KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" Naruto formed another cross seal, and several hundred more clones joined the ocean of orange.

"I think that's enough clones for now, Naruto," said Negi, eying the growing swarm worriedly. _I really hope Ryouga dispels those quickly enough to prevent Naruto from accumulating even more brain-damage._

"You just don't want me to get the hit in," accused Naruto.

"If that many clones can't land a hit, a few hundred more aren't going to make a difference," said Sakura.  
Naruto paused to consider this.

"Look, just listen for a second. I've got a plan, and if all goes well, we'll each get a hit in." Naruto looked at Negi doubtfully, while Sakura stared at him with complete faith in her eyes. Negi wasn't particularly pleased with either look, but pressed on nonetheless. "Right. Here's what we need to do."


	33. Seriously, It Was Three Genin Versus a Jounin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negi, Sakura, and Naruto get their tails handed to them. Also, SUDDENLY GREEN RANGER!

As he finally cleared out the last few clones, Ryouga looked down at his unconscious students. "Well, that was kind of pathetic, " he said. In truth, when Sakura and Negi had slipped into the crowd transformed into Naruto, they had caught him by surprise. It was a decent trick, and had they been fighting a chuunin, it might have been enough to end the fight. Unfortunately for them, Ryouga was a jounin, and surprise or not, there was such a speed difference between them that he had easily dispatched the two of them with a pair of left-handed jabs despite being caught off guard.

"Pathetic my fist!" shouted Naruto as he burst forth from his henge as a kunai to deliver an uppercut toward Ryouga's face. Simultaneously, three crackling projectiles burst forth from Negi's staff as the boy suddenly sat up. Ryouga casually sidestepped Naruto's uppercut, hip-checked him into the lightning jutsu Negi had launched at him, then punted the stunned genin into still sitting red-head. Catching the shuriken Sakura had thrown at him, Ryouga crushed it into a ball, then pegged her in the forehead protector with enough force to knock her off her feet.

Not giving Negi and Naruto time to untangle themselves, he hopped over to them and delivered a pair of swift chops to the back of their necks. He then tossed the two of them onto Sakura, who had been in the process of climbing to her feet, driving her back to the ground.

"So, ready to give up?" the jounin asked.

**Chapter 33: Seriously, It Was Three Genin Versus a Jounin**

After gathering up the equipment of his unconscious genin, Ryouga and Sakura set out, Negi and Naruto strapped to Ryouga's pack via the remains of the tent. _Note to self,_ thought Ryouga. _In future ventures, avoid knocking out genin students shortly before it's time to leave the area._

"So, " said Sakura, "What exactly was the point of that?"

"What was the point of what?" asked Ryouga, looking confused.

"You know. Having the three of us attack you like that, " Sakura explained. "You knew we couldn't hit you unless you let us. And you didn't." Sakura gave her sensei an accusing look.

"I did know you couldn't hit me, " Ryouga admitted. "But you didn't."

"So this was some sort of dominance thing, to show you're the jounin and we're the genin?" Sakura snorted. "And I did know I couldn't hit you, by the way."

Ryouga sighed. "No. This was to show you the difference between a jounin and a genin."

"That's what I just said!"

"No, that's not-" started Ryouga, only to interrupt himself. "You said it was a dominance thing!" Ryouga pointed an accusatory finger at his conscious student. "This is a survival thing!"

Sakura stared back with an unimpressed look. "I'm pretty sure I already knew taking on a jounin was suicide, sensei."

"If it was just you, yes! But it wasn't! It was all three of you!" Ryouga paused for a second to regain his composure. "If it was just you against a jounin, you knew you would lose. So did Negi. And so did Naruto." Ryouga paused, then amended, "Probably. But it-"

A series of beeps interrupted Ryouga's speech. Before he could say anything else, Sakura had her watch up by her ear. The watch began emitting a series of noises that sounded suspiciously like words, and the girl paled. Pressing a button on the device, Sakura opened her mouth as if to speak, only to abruptly cut off. Suddenly, she seemed to remember Ryouga had been talking to her. Slowly, she lowered her arm. "Er, sorry sensei. I'll... turn it off."

Ryouga nodded and resumed his lecture. "As I was saying, it wasn't just you against me. It was you, Negi, and Naruto against me."

"So none of us could beat you, " said Sakura dismissively.

"Exactly, " replied Ryouga. "All three of you, working together, couldn't lay a hand on me. Even when you caught me by surprise, you weren't able to touch me. And I wasn't using ninjutsu, genjutsu, or my right arm." Ryouga paused to let that sink in before continuing. "You can expect that to be the case with any jounin you meet. Jounin are ranked as such because they've earned their rank. Even the weakest jounin on their worst day will completely outclass the strongest of genin, and are experienced enough to see through the cleverest deceptions. If you ever find yourself facing a jounin, your best bet is to run. Otherwise you will die. And if the jounin wants you dead enough, you'll probably die even if you run."

An awkward silence filled the area as Ryouga waited for a response. And waited.

"Sakura?" asked Ryouga, looking around. His genin student was nowhere to be found. He looked around frantically. _Aw crap! I got lost!_ Ryouga began running through the seals for the Hiraishin.

0o0o0

In a flash of red light, Sakura arrived back at Konoha, already morphed into the Red Ranger. What she found was alarming, to say the least.

The entire battleground was heavily damaged. Entire trees had been uprooted. The ground was filled with craters. Large boulders had been smashed to rubble. And the fight was still going.

The Blue Ranger was buried into the ground up to his waist. Head first. In solid rock. Sakura hoped Yahiko wasn't dead.

The Yellow Ranger was raining plasma at the enemy, but failing to land any hits, even as the opponent was engaged in close combat. **Tenten** was missing every shot.

The Pink Ranger was no longer bothering to hide his signature ninjutsu, the Tsuuga, which would give him away as an Inuzuka in an instant. Considering how Kiba felt about keeping his status as the Pink Ranger secret, that was saying something. Not that it seemed to be helping.

The Black Ranger was conspicuously absent. Hopefully that just meant Ino hadn't arrived yet.

Sakura was having issues determining what their opponent was. It was green, and it seemed humanoid, but between fighting Kiba and dodging Tenten's barrage of plasma, it was little more than a blur.

"Sa- Red Ranger!" yelled Tenten. "HELP!"

For just a moment, Kiba stopped attacking and Tenten stopped shooting as attention was drawn to the Red Ranger. And then, for just an instant, the green thing came to a stop, and resolved itself into a solid image. It was another Power Ranger. A Green Ranger.

And then the Green Ranger sweep kicked the Pink Ranger, spun around, and launched him toward Sakura with another kick before he even had time to land.


End file.
